April 12, 2020

Dear Diary,

This is a complete list, in chronological order, of the things I put up my ass today:

1. My finger, when I first woke up and masturbated. I used spit as lube and sucked all that yummy flavor.
2. A strawberry. I was having yogurt and strawberries for breakfast and I was curious what it would be like. It got all nice and squishy up inside me and the mixture of sweet and sour was heavenly.
3. My cute ruby-hearted butt plug. I pushed it up my butt at 11:17 a.m. and left it in there for two exactly two hours, at which point I sucked it lovingly to get all that good rectal flavor. Have to say, as hot at that was, sucking on stainless steel isn't nearly as tasty as sucking on a strawberry.
4. Five twizzlers. Not at the same time, one by one. Red ones, of course. Shoved them up there as far as I could, slurped and chewed. Red twizzler + assjuice is a winning combo!
5. Three fingers, which I think is the ideal number -- more fulfilling than two, not quite as knuckle-squeezing as four. I fingerbanged my booty and let my hitachi magic wand work my clit while I watched a girl get her ass fisted by three different men.

Yes, it was a slow day...