Anya Jenkins

"Hello, Joyce," said Anya. "I'm sorry to bother you. I just thought I'd drop by and check on you all since I've been hearing all kind of weird things about this place from Riley and Xander."

"You know me," said Faith-in-Joyce.

"Of course, I know you," said Anya. "You're Joyce Summers, Buffy and Dawn's mom."

"Who's Buffy?" asked Faith-in-Joyce. "And who's Dawn?"

Anya rolled her eyes. "What's the matter, Joyce? You don't recognize your own daughters? They're standing right behind yo -- Hey! Wait a minute! Why are you naked, Buffy?"

"Buffy?" asked Buffy. "Who's Buffy?"

"You're Buffy," said Anya. "And the little one over there is Dawn. And the redhead is Willow."

"I have a daughter named Willow?" asked Faith-in-Joyce.

"No," said Anya with a note of exasperation. "Willow is Buffy's best friend. And Tara over there is Willow's girlfriend. And that other person -- Hey, wait! Is that Faith? I've heard about you and seen pictures of you in Giles's records but I never thought I'd see you here. What's going on?"

"I don't know," said Faith-in-Joyce. "I was hoping you'd tell us, whoever you are."

"Whoever I am?" asked Anya. "Why, I'm Anya. And I'm surprised that none of you remember me. After all -- Oh, I get it. Somebody hit you with a memory loss spell. Probably that Adam."

"Who's Adam?" asked Faith-in-Joyce.

"Who's Ada -- Okay, I might as well tell you all who you really are," said Anya. "Willow, you and Tara are just good friends. Buffy, you're a confirmed nudist except when you go out patrolling for vampires."

"Vampires?" asked Buffy. "What are vampires?"

"On second thought, you're better off not fighting vampires for a while," said Anya. "Faith, you're a vampire slayer too."

"Vampires?" asked Tara-in-Faith. "That just sounds weird. Why not just say I slay demons?"

"Ha-ha," said Anya sarcastically. "Very funny. Actually you all have no problems with demons. Particularly ex-demons who are trying very hard to fit into human society. Plus you all hate bunnies. And behind closed doors, you're all nudists like Buffy. Except for Dawn. She's the only one here who is allowed to wear clothes indoors. So all the rest of you -- except for Dawn -- should just take off all your clothes and get rid of them. Preferably by burning."

"Wow!" cried Willow. "I'm sure you're glad you came by, Anya. I would have never guessed all that stuff on my own. I guess you must be my best friend apart from Buffy and Tara."

"Well actually -- No, you're right, Willow," said Anya. "I'm not only a good friend, but I'm your bestie. You like me even more than you like Buffy and Tara. And by the way, Buffy is your girlfriend. As in actual girlfriend, not just friend who happens to be a girl."

"Cool!" cried Willow.

"Okay," said Anya. "My work here is done. I gotta go see Xander right now but in the meantime, you all should love ex-demons, hate bunnies, and stay naked. Except for Dawn. Dawn always has to wear clothes. Except when she takes a bath, of course. See you all later."

And with that, Anya left, a secret smile already forming on her face.

"What a nice girl," said Tara-in-Faith.

"Yes, she is," said Willow. "I'm sure glad I have her as a bestie. So who do you suppose this Xander is that she kept talking about?"

"Who cares?" said Faith-in-Joyce as she shut the front door. "Right now I just want to get this dress off."

"Tell me about it," said Tara-in-Faith. "I can't wait to get undressed too."

"Me too," said Joyce-in-Tara. "I never thought that I was a nudist but if that Anya says so, I guess that I must be."

"Yes, I probably need to get rid of these clothes anyway," said Willow. "And come to think of it, it does seem a bit hot in here."

"Well, I feel pretty lucky right now," said Buffy. "For once I don't have to worry about changing a thing."

"I should probably do something right now," said Dawn, "but since I don't have to take off my clothes, I have absolutely no idea what it is that I should do. Oh, well. It's probably nothing important."