Anger and Side-effects and Messengers, Oh my!

You frankly never were one to actively pick a fight, sure you handed some bullies their ass on a platter for insulting you and your mom, but you didn’t go out of your way to knock heads with people. It was against what you’ve been told and taught, but there was a part of you that enjoyed the feeling of your fist crashing against someone’s face. The animalistic feeling of proving you were stronger than the person who challenged you. You tried to ignore it, tell yourself it was wrong.

But you couldn’t deny the satisfaction.

This was more visceral and furious, but all the sweeter.

Weapons scraping, sparks flying, blows exchanged, your rage pouring into the **** as the frustration and anger you had been burying under sex and fear came down like a tsunami. The water you drenched yourself with acts like a cushion against the heavy blows and you skillfully move out of the way of his heavy handed attacks. Nothing existed outside the fight and the battle as you lash out with your kopis and lands several cuts. Normally it wouldn’t have been a contest if you had only the barest of training, but Hermes’ gift more than evened the difference. You ducked around under a swing and lashed out with a kick to the back of the Ares camper’s knees. He buckled with a grunt of annoyance and spun around to bash your hilt into his jaw with water-bolstered strength. The crackle of what was surely his teeth getting dislodged made you grin in a feral smile, a mirror of what he gave you. His hand came to grasp at his jaw and you hit him with a left hook that sent him crashing to the ground.

You dropped to one knee and grabbed a handful of his hair and angled your blade at his throat as you lifted his head. You would hurt him, make him bleed out for pissing you off, you hate him, you hate everything about this and —

Then you looked into his eyes and stilled.

Terror.

He was downright terrified of what was happening, blood leaking from his mouth and eyes wide with fear. You both had been going at this hard, you giving slashes and nicked bloody cuts on him and him hitting giving you bruises and purpling splotches on your body. Most of the campers had drifted away to continue sparring while uneasily glancing at you two beating the shit out of each other. You realize this wasn’t just his fault, you were also getting mad and wanted to beat on something till you felt better. Maybe you had reason, maybe you didn’t, but that didn’t justify the murderous urge you felt.

Your anger flushed from you like a waterfall and you let go to stagger away, a sick feeling rising in your stomach.

God, what was wrong with you?

This isn’t you.

You don’t want to be this person.

You stare at him for a moment before abruptly turning away and marching off, head low and teeth gritted. Whoever won doesn’t mean shit to you right now. Your kopis goes back into being a bracelet and all you want is to not feel the itching stares at your back. As soon as you leave the arena you run, ignoring everything except the sensation of your feet pounding against the ground as you go where everything feels quiet.

Where you can just escape for some time.

You need to find a place to be alone.

To figure things out.

Naturally, you find yourself at the sea and once again sitting in the surf.

“What is happening to me?” You whisper.

The rushing of the sea, the wind hissing through the air, and the near inaudible swell of deeper waves are all that respond. You bury your head in your arms, squeezing your eyes shut so hard that it stings. Your eyes burn with unshed tears and you grit your teeth, you wanted to be alone so badly.

Congradu-fucking-lations.

You already are alone!

Your mom’s dead.

Percy and Tyson left without you.

The campers sees you as a liability.

Melanie and Flumen probably just wanted to use you to get off.

Stephanie probably is told to be nice.

God, even as a demigod, you’re just a pathetic loser whose not wanted.

You wrestle your grief down with a bitter laugh to look out over the ocean. If nothing else you feel a bit better about knowing where you stand in regards to everything, even if you are hated at least you can be secure in that knowledge. Realistically, that’s not true. Realistically, you know that you’re being irrational. Realistically, it’s easier to think everyone hates you when you know that you are a cause for legitimate concern. But you still never asked for this, you never wanted to be a problem.

“So you’re Jack Langnan?”

You flinch as a voice reaches your ears and you hunch in on yourself not wanting to talk to anyone. A glance to the beach and see a man in what seems to be a jogging suit you sometimes saw in the city, his expression is cheerful, but something in his eyes is sad.

“Who are you?” You mumble.

“Hermes.” He announces.

You jaw drops, this god can just drop in like this?

Wait.

He’s a god, of course he can.

You hesitate as you stand up before bowing awkwardly.

He laughs out loud and waves his hand, “Hey now. None of that.”

You straighten and walk over to him, feeling pretty conflicted.

On one hand he’s a god that could vaporize you with a blink and left you a care package that made you stronger.

On the other hand, he left you alone in your cabin with no one else to help siphon Tantalus’ anger on you.

“So...” You begin, having literately no idea what to do.

“Hi?” He offers with a grin.

You nod jerkily, okay just say something that can start a conversation! This cannot be that hard!

“Hello.” He says pleasantly, “Saw you looking a bit down and thought I could lend a hand to a cousin.”

“Oh. Well... Um... Hi?” You say.

YOU HAD ONE JOB BRAIN.

He laughs agains and you flush before clearing you embarrassment and asking something you did want to know about, “Hey... About that potion — thanks for that by the way — did it do something other than make me a decent fighter? I don’t know why, but I feel as though all my emotions are dialed to 13 or something.”

Hermes blinks and sighs at that, “Really? I worked with Ares to make that, I am not exactly sure what he did put in and how it would do more than increase someone’s skills in combat. I just didn’t think there’d be any real adverse affects.”

You stifle a incredulous look.

God, you should have waited before drinking that potion, what are you? A kid who goes into a stranger’s van?

Hermes shakes his head and continues, “Anyway, I guess I should apologize for jacking your brothers.”

You sigh, “That did kinda suck to come back and find myself alone.”

He frowns, “I swear that isn’t how this camp is supposed to feel.”

“What did you expect?” You reply incredulously, “Sunshine and flowers? We are divided in our houses by our parent, sit at different tables by our parents, and are stereotyped by our apparent fellow campers. It’s a system almost designed to pit one group against each other. The only way people are grouped together are if they don’t have anyone else. Not to mention all the minor god’s kids are shoved into your cabin! How is that even supposed to bring people together?”

Hermes blinked at you and you realize you may have just yelled at a god.

Wonderful.