And you want to believe it's true

“Mill is stupid. That’s a stupid mechanic.”

Now it was Nick’s turn to be salty. But he couldn’t really be blamed for that, could he?! Not only was Morgana cheating by using TWO colors, blue AND black, but she wasn’t even playing by the rules! What kind of stupid way to win was that, discarding cards from the top of your opponent’s deck!?

“Sorry, Nick, but that’s just how the game is played,” Morgana said smugly, leaning back in her seat with a triumphant grin on her face. She was just as much a poor winner as she was a poor loser, it seemed. Not that Nick was one to talk, given his response.

“I was at over 30 life!” He protested. “You can’t just… deck me out like that, Morgana, it’s not fair! Come on, you’ve gotta admit, it’s not fair!”

“It’s very fair,” Morgana stubbornly replied, shaking her head. “The rules say that if you can’t draw a card from your deck because you don’t have any left, then you lose the game. Simple as that.”

“But you got rid of half my deck with a single spell!” Nick complained.

Morgana had a giddy smile on her face. “I know!” She giggled, bobbing he head up and down. “isn’t that great?! That’s the strength of Dimir!”

Nick blinked. “Dimir? What’s that? Is that one of the cards you used?”

Morgana looked confused for a second, then she realized what the problem was. “Oh! That’s right, I never told you. See, Dimir is the name of the color combination I used, blue-black. There are ten two-color combinations in Magic: the Gathering, and Dimir is, like, one of my favorites. I also like Orzhov, which is white-black, and Golgari, which is black-green. …Oh, and Rakdos, that’s black-red. Those are my favorite two-color combinations.”

Nick was sensing a common theme here. “…Right. So you can use multiple colors together, then? I assumed it was like, only one color per deck.”

Morgana bobbed her head up and down. “Yeah, you can use as many colors as you want!” She said cheerily. “Most decks usually use two or three colors, because using multiple colors gives you more flexibility to do things that one color can’t.”

Nick raised his eyebrow. “But I thought you said that black could do anything?” He pointed out with an amused smile.

Morgana puffed up her cheeks. “That… that wasn’t what I meant,” she huffed. “By adding blue, I can mill you out, but I also have access to counterspells! And those are really fun, because they help keep your opponent from interfering with what you’re trying to do.”

Nick remembered when Morgana had countered the spell he’d tried to use to get rid of her strongest creature last game, the one that kept milling him cards every time she cast a spell- and ironically, by countering his spell, she milled him again.

“Wait, so my spell just doesn’t work? Nothing happens?”

“Right!”

“That doesn’t seem very fair.”

“Well, it is. Now, mill until you hit a land card, please.”

Yeah, Nick didn’t have as much fun that second game if he was being perfectly honest.

“…Didn’t you say before that blue decks were cheap BECAUSE they countered all your stuff?” Nick asked, recalling Morgana’s tirade against the color not ten minutes earlier.

“Well, that’s when someone else is doing it, it’s fine when I do it, because I’m not countering every spell you cast,” Morgana explained, in complete ignorance of the obvious hypocrisy in her statement.

“…Right. Gotcha…”

Morgana frowned, feeling a little uncertain due to the distracted expression she saw on Nick’s face. He’d been having so much fun in that last game, but now…

Oh no, I can’t believe I messed up so badly! She moaned internally. I was trying to share my favorite game with him, and I ended up steamrolling him because I wanted to win! And now he’s not going to want to play anymore! How could I be so stupid!?

Morgana had an amazing thing going. She’d actually gotten Nick to take an interest in one of her hobbies, a real, genuine interest! This wasn’t like all those anime she tried to show him, the ones that he agreed to watch with her out of politeness but didn’t actually care for that much. No, he’d actually had fun with her, and what did she do!?

She’d stomped him into the dirt. She couldn’t believe herself! All because she wanted to win that badly!?

“I’m sorry!” She blurted out, startling Nick and making him drop his deck all over the table.

“H-huh?” Nick was surprised by the sudden and visceral outburst from the panicking girl. “Wh-what? You’re sorry? Huh?”

Morgana was falling apart at the seems.

“I-I shouldn’t have… my deck, it… it was way too strong for what you were playing, it wasn’t fair,” she wailed. “I’m sorry I beat you like that! Please don’t stop playing Magic with me, Nick? I swear, this game is a lot of fun, really! Don’t give up on it now,” she begged him, her eyes watering with frantic desperation.

“I, uh…” Nick wasn’t sure what he should say to that, and he didn’t even get the chance because Morgana was nowhere near done.

“I swear, next time, I’ll let you win! Okay? I promise I’ll use a different deck, so… please?” She looked like she was about to burst into tears, which wasn’t a good sign. In fact the only good sign about this at all was the fact that Morgana’s frantic tone of voice meant her Sotto Voce wasn’t triggering so Nick could keep a cool head about this.

Assuming he even understood what was going on with her right now.

Nick sighed and scratched his head, taking advantage of the fact that Morgana still needed to breathe so he could get a word in edgewise. Once she stopped panicking and paused to take a breath, he interjected, “Morgana, it’s okay, you don’t need to freak out like that.”

Morgana’s eyes bulged and her face burned with shame. Freak out!? She wasn’t freaking out! …Well, maybe a little, but-

“I’m not going to stop playing just because you beat me,” Nick assured her.

The way Morgana reacted, you would think Nick had just promised her that they weren’t going to break up. It was like all the worries in her life escaped her body with a deep sigh and she slumped down into her seat, relief washing over her like a tidal wave.

“You… you aren’t?” She squeaked out hopefully.

Nick shook his head. “Yeah, sure, it sucks that I lost,” he admitted. “That deck of yours was really strong, and I stand by what I said about milling being a bullshit strategy. But come on, I’m not going to quit just because of that!”

When he put it like that, maybe Morgana had jumped the gun a little. A sheepish expression crossed over her face and she chewed sheepishly on her lip.

“Well… good,” she mumbled out, nodding. “I’m glad… that… that’s really good, yeah…”

Nick nodded slowly, glad to see she was taking things so well. “Besides,” he continued, “if I stopped playing now, then that’s like I’m admitting defeat! And I’m not gonna stand for that.” He had no idea where they were on their date schedule or how much Morgana had planned, but he wasn’t ready to leave the store just yet. He’d finally found something they could enjoy together; and even without Morgana, he could admit- this game seemed like a lot of fun.

“…So you really like it?” Morgana asked hopefully, practically on the edge of her seat she was leaning so far over the table to look him in the eyes. “You’re not just, like, being nice to me and humoring me, or, or anything?”

Nick winced. “You really thought that?”

Morgana’s face reddened. “W-well, it’s… it’s a really complicated game… and not everybody likes it,” she mumbled, awkwardly shuffling her cards together. “I know it’s kinda… super nerdy, so…”

Nick had to laugh when he heard her say that. “Come on, Morgana, are you serious right now?” He shook his head and smiled. “Come on, look at me. You think I care if it’s a nerdy hobby?”

“Well…” Morgana bit her lip, considering his words carefully. “You… you didn’t like… the anime I showed you… before…” she pointed out.

Nick winced. Valid point there, he had to admit.

“A-and… when I recommended we play that video game, you said it wasn’t really your style, so… I just thought…”

“Video game… wait, you mean the one where you play as a girl and have to hit on a bunch of really hot guys?” Nick remembered the dating sim (or was it a visual novel? He didn’t get far enough to know) that Morgana had suggested they play together one night.

“Yeah, that one.”

Nick stared at her.

“…Yeah, uh… not… not really my thing,” he said slowly, surprised he had to point that out to her. “Morgana, I like girls, remember?”

“Well… …Good point,” she conceded, giggling to herself. She scratched her head and gave him a sheepish smile. “I guess… I just got really worried… that this would just be another thing that I really loved… that you wouldn’t have any interest in…”

She gazed longingly down at the cards in her hands with a soft, gentle smile on her acne-covered face. And yet, it was one of the sweetest smiles Nick had ever seen from her, regardless of if her features were flawless or pockmarked.

“Morgana…” Before Nick could finish his thought, though, her head shot up and their eyes met again, and the look in her eyes was so focused that he found himself overwhelmed momentarily.

“It… it’s not my sort of thing,” she blurted out. “I mean… I…”

She didn’t even know what she’d been trying to say if she was being honest. The moment had told her that she needed to speak up, and before she even knew what was happening the first words to pop into her mind had already passed her lips. “…Sorry.”

Morgana shook her head and tried again. Nick gave her all the space she needed to do so properly, seeing how important this was to her.

Once she recomposed herself, she was able to express her feelings with a little more clarity, much to their mutual relief.

“…I just turned 18 years old a few months ago,” Morgana pointed out quietly. She wasn’t even whispering to keep Sotto Voce from triggering, this was just the loudest she could express these feelings of hers. “And that… most of that time I’ve spent here, on this island with everybody… and… and it’s great, really, but…”

Nick suspected he knew where she was going with this and nodded slowly, encouraging her to open up to him without trying to put the words into her mouth.

She really appreciated that.

“…You’re 27, Nick,” she said bluntly. As his number one fan, she was well aware of his birthday. In fact, she’d celebrated it (privately) last year and the year before that!

“…Yeah, I am,” Nick said, not sure how to reply to that statement, since it seemed that she was looking for a reply.

“So that, well… that kind of… you know… that’s almost a 10-year difference,” Morgana pointed out hesitantly.

Nick nodded again. That it was. And that, he feared, was the crux of the issue.

“…There’s probably not a lot a guy like you, an adult with a job, adult hobbies, friends, a famous novel… there’s not a lot you’d have in common with… a girl like me,” Morgana mumbled sheepishly, her face burning with shame and embarrassment.

Nick winced. He didn’t like the way she was deprecating herself like this… but what could he say to her? “No, we actually have a lot in common, don’t think that way?” She’d know he was lying the second the words passed his lips.

“…So all this time… I’ve been trying to hide it, I guess,” Morgana mumbled, tilting the brim of her hat down to shield her embarrassment from his eyes, as if that would stop him from seeing the rest of her and telling just how ashamed she felt from her body language alone. “I thought if we just… if we ignored it, and just focused on… on the sex, then… it wouldn’t matter that we’re at completely different stages of our life… I guess…”

Nick nodded slowly. “…I get what you mean,” he said softly, understanding how worried Morgana must have been this whole time. But still, his words felt so… lacking.

“I get what you mean,” what kind of statement was that? A true one, sure, but not exactly a helpful one, even he could understand that.

The problem was that Nick really didn’t know what else he could say to console her. After all, Morgana wasn’t exactly dealing with a simple problem here. The fact was, she was right. They were at two different stages in their lives. They’d lived through very different things growing up, and not just in the way people from different backgrounds did.

Morgana had been just a toddler when Nick experienced one of the greatest tragedies of his life. It was weird to think about things in that regard, but it was true.

And it wasn’t like Nick could just say “Well, no, it’s fine because I’m actually a really immature adult and my trauma kept me from growing up properly, so on an emotional level maybe we’re a lot closer than our ages would suggest!”

That sounded really creepy and kind of pathetic.

“…I’ll admit, Morgana, we probably don’t have a lot in common,” Nick conceded. “But I don’t think it has anything to do with age. We’re different people with different interests. I mean, look at me and Carly, for example. We’re pretty close in age, but we only have superficial stuff in common, right? Just because you’re the same age as someone, that doesn’t mean you’ll always have something to bond with them over or anything.”

That being said, he and Carly could enjoy quite a lot together. But he was trying to make a point to help his friend.

Morgana bit her lip. She knew Nick was trying to make her feel better, and his words WERE helping, but…

She just couldn’t help but feel insecure, as usual.

What a mess.

As usual.

“…You really… you really feel that way?” She asked him quietly. “That it doesn’t matter we have such a big age gap?”

Nick shook his head. “It’s weird, but… there’s nothing wrong with that,” he said. “I’m trying my best to get to know you as a person, Morgana. And yeah, maybe the difference between our ages is going to make that harder than it would be between me and some of the other girls, but that doesn’t mean this isn’t going to work out, right?”

Morgana nodded slowly. But she wasn’t completely convinced. Not yet, anyway. “…Even though the difference in our age is about… the same difference as you and Amelia…?”

Nick’s heart froze in his chest. Memories of what had transpired between him and his stepmother this morning came crashing down on him like a ton of bricks and his face went pale.

“Th-that… that’s a little different,” he stammered, shaking his head. “Amelia and I, we-”

“Isn’t that the same thing?” Morgana’s anxiety levels started to rise. “I mean, I’m just saying-”

“No, it’s different,” Nick sharply cut her off before she could start to freak out. He gave her a firm look that made her shiver, but it quickly softened. “…With Amelia… she’s my stepmother. So it’s not the same at all,” he assured her.

That helped Morgana breathe a little easier. “Oh… o-okay, I guess,” she said, nodding slowly. A smile slowly retook its spot on her face.

“Besides,” Nick continued, “you have a lot of hobbies that I think are different from people in your age group, right? I mean… Magic: the Gathering, that’s even older than I am,” he pointed out. “I could have been playing that plenty when I was a kid, if I’d been interested in it! So don’t think that just because you’re younger than me by such a wide margin that there isn’t still stuff we can find to do together that we’ll both enjoy.”

After all, Morgana was a fan of old books, old anime, and even old games like this one. She was about as far from a conventional 18-year-old as you could get!

Nick offered her a tentative smile. “…Okay?”

Morgana looked longingly into his eyes and nodded slowly, blinking back the tears of relief that were welling up in her eyes. “Yeah,” she murmured, wiping her eyes just to make sure. “Okay… yeah, you’re right!”

It felt like another weight had been lifted off of her chest. Morgana wasn’t a fool, she knew that some sweet words from the guy she liked wouldn’t be enough to assuage her doubts. There were still a lot of challenges they would need to overcome if they really wanted a strong relationship. After all, Nick was trying his best, but his best…

Would it be good enough?

She honestly didn’t know.

“…I like you,” she blurted out suddenly, startling them both. Her face turned red and she quickly shook her head. “I-I just… I wanted to say it… so you knew it was true,” she stammered, hoping that she hadn’t made things too awkward.

Nick smiled at her. “That’s okay,” he said gently. “I like you, too.”

Morgana blushed from ear to ear. It was one of the most adorable things he had ever seen.

“…So… you really do like it, then?” Morgana asked him. That was what she’d meant to say, in the first place, before her mouth had jumped the gun on her. “…Magic, I mean!” She quickly clarified, before he got the wrong idea. “You really like it?”

“…Oh, that’s what you… yeah,” Nick said, assuring her with a smile and a nod. “I really like it. So you don’t have to worry. In fact… why don’t you tell me some more about those other color combinations you like, so I can have a bit more knowledge about things before I build a deck for myself?”

Morgana’s face lit up. And before Nick knew it, he was swept up in a discussion that he very quickly started to regret… and yet, he found himself not regretting it as much as he expected to at the same time, somehow.