And the hits just keep on cumming

"Ow, ow, fuck ow" you mutter lying on your back with a busted chair underneath, and something heavy lying on top of you. The last thing you remember was running over to help Blackfire, who was fighting off about twenty Billy clones, then a bright flash of purple followed by pain, lots of pain. Combined with the shock and it's enough to break your concentration and you feel your doppelgangers dissolve leaving you feeling drained by the effort of sustaining two of them at once. "All that whiskey probably didn't help either," you think as you’re too exhausted to dislodge whatever's on top of you, "then again this might actually hurt more if I was sober." The thought makes you laugh, which only aggravates your already sore ribs.

Suddenly you feel the weight lifted and open your eyes to find a very concerned Blackfire straddling your prone body. "Lancer are you ok? Please be ok." The former Tamaranean princess pleads running a hand distractedly through her hair.

"Did we win?" you ask hoping the fight was over, because you honestly don't know if you can stand let alone fight.

"Yeah we did" Blackfire says breathing a shaky sigh of relief.

"Then yeah, I'm ok." You sigh letting your exhaustion settle in a bit. "What happened last I remember I was coming to help you take care of the cast of He Haw, the next thing I know I'm staring at the ceiling?"

"I know," she says as she starts to twist her hair and looks away, "I'm sorry but when I went to hit that last Billy with a starbolt I didn’t see you behind him and I kinda caught you with the blast too…" she says with the last bit petering out.

"So let me get this straight, YOU SHOT ME?!!!" you ask incredulously.

"It was an accident, I swear!!" Blackfire pleads gripping your shirt in both hands. "I didn't mean to I'm sorry!!" The poor alien girl is shaking you back and forth in her earnestness. The situation is so comical you can't help but laugh in spite of how sore you are. This only serves to aggravate Blackfire further. "What's so funny?" She demands shaking you more vigorously.

"I survive a misfortune mage, an obsessive half-demon, a teleporter, some freaky cyclops guy, a meta-human meat head, a techno dweeb, and a self replicating Deliverance reject, only to get taken out by the princess who came looking for my help” you reply as your laughter tapers of to chuckles.

Blackfire stops shaking you and stares at you for a second her expression shifting from concerned to angry before settling on amused exasperation. “I’ll say this; it certainly is the most memorable first date I’ve ever had.”

You cock an eyebrow at her and grin “So this is a date? Seems to me talking about getting you on the Titans is a little more business then pleasure.”

Blackfire shifts a bit and you’re suddenly aware that she’s straddling your lap and despite your exhaustion you feel your cock stir. This is obviously not lost on Blackfire as she inhales sharply and her eyes begin to glow again. “Who says we can’t do a little of both?” She asks as her grip on your shirt tightens as she leans her head in for a kiss.

Just then the main door bursts open “Titans g…” Robin begins only to be cut off as Raven and Jinx see Blackfire in your lap and shout “Get off my guy you skank!” in tandem.

Blackfire is struck by a black and pink wave simultaneously sending her flying and crashing through a pile of broken furniture. Meanwhile with Balckfire gone you fall back and crack your head on the floor “AHHA OWWW!!” you shout as the pain seers through your skull making your eyes water.

In the meantime Blackfire has barely extracted herself form the debris when Raven and Jinx are on her.

“Keep your hands off my guy you intergalactic hussy!” Raven snarls as she launches a round kick at Blackfire’s head that she narrowly ducks.

“Yeah Tramperella what bird brain said, ‘cept Lancer’s mine.” Jinx says lunging for Blackfire only to have the Tamaranean spin gracefully away, leaving the misfortune mage stumbling over a broken chair.

“Yours’?” Raven blurts indigently, rounding on the pink haired girl. “The only reason you’re here, and not back in the containment cell, is that I didn’t want to waste time before rescuing Lancer.”

“Hmmp, the only thing Lancer needed saving from tonight was you two” Blackfire snorts as she floats near the ceiling.

“EXCUSE ME?!” Both mages snarl turning back to the alien princess.

“Please, I saw everything.” Blackfire says her tone mocking. “From Lancer taking pity on you after your pathetically botched break in, “she says looking at Jinx, “to his attempt to graciously turn aside your laughably heavy handed attempt at seduction”; she smirks as she turns to Raven. “Honestly if the two of you were any less subtle you would have clubbed him over the head and dragged him off somewhere.”

“Isn’t that exactly what you did?” Jinx challenges her cheeks red with embarrassment and anger.

“Well at least she didn’t sexually **** him” Raven says through clenched teeth giving Jinx a **** stare.

“You what?” Blackfire glares at the misfortune mage.

Meanwhile, as all this is happening you’re lying on the floor to exhausted to even lift your arms to cradle your head and are only vaguely aware of the Titans arrival.

“For fucks sake will this night ever end?” you groan.

You can hear Robin barking orders although he seems taken somewhat off balance by the scene unfolding around him.

“Cyborg, Beast Boy, uh….secure the H.I.V.E. team.” He says uncertainly, “Starfire…”, but whatever he was about to say is lost as the teams’ current alien princess cries out, “Lancer!” and streaks over to you. “Umm check on Lancer I guess”, Robin finishes lamely.

“Dude” B.B. whistles, “Lancer took out all these guys?”

“Tell me about it”, Cyborg says looking around his mouth slightly agape. “Remind me not to piss off the new guy.”

“Just secure the H.I.V.E. before they come to” Robin mutters before turning to the Mexican stand off taking place between Blackfire, Raven, and Jinx.

“Alright Jinx, Blackfire stand down and come quietly” Robin orders but the three girls continue to argue loudly with each other and seem completely unaware of his presence. “Umm…Raven?” he tries but gets no response form the Titan either.

As this is happening Starfire takes up her sister’s former position straddling your lap and pulls you to a sitting position as she crushes your face into her chest. “Friend Lancer are you unharmed? If my sister has injured you I shall return the favor to her in kind.”

“Wow this would be really comfy if I could breath”, you think as the swell of Star’s breasts cradle your head. “But why do I smell mustard?” A sudden urge to motorboat the redhead enters your mind but you really need some oxygen and you can hear the situation with the other girls deteriorating rapidly.

“Far er siser was heping me”, you mutter into Starfire’s chest.

“Hush Lancer you are safe now?” Starfire coos as she strokes the back of your head.

“FAR I HAN”T BEETH” you try tapping at her leg. “Dear god after everything else I’m gonna die of suffocation.” the thought is so ludicrous you’d laugh if you could.

“Dam girl, your smothering the boy!” Cyborg yells from somewhere to your right.

“Oh dear!” Star gasps loosening her grip giving you enough space to finally take a huge gulp of air. “I’m sorry friend Lancer what were you trying to tell us?”

After a few more breaths you manage to draw enough strength to speak loud enough for every one to hear. “I said Blackfire was helping me. She wants to join the team and be one of the good guys.”

This shocks the whole room into silence. Beast Boy freezes midway through snapping inhibiter cuffs on Kid Wykid, Cyborg snaps his head back and forth between you and Blackfire so fast that you think he might give himself whiplash, Raven’s eyes widen so much they threaten to swallow her entire face, Robin’s head cocks to the side like a confused dog and you could swear you see his brain completely lock up, and Jinx’s jaw nearly hits the floor.

You’re about to laugh when Starfire gasps and lets go, causing you to fall back to the floor and your head smacks loudly enough off it to make everyone in the room who’s still conscious wince sympathetically.

“SON-OF-A-BITCH!!” you yell as the stinging in your head intensifies. “Can somebody wake the H.I.V.E. guys; at least I didn’t get hurt fighting them.”

“Lancer just what the hell is going on here?!” Robin yells as he comes to stand over you.

“Yes I believe we would like to know that as well.” says a crisp authoritative voice from the clubs entrance.