Ancient, powerful and horribly mispronounced

Alexs’ fingers were flying across the screen as he raced against his dying batteries to scrounge up anything that might help. It inspired a vague hope to see him working that hard for the sake of his friend, but it was hard to cling to the notion of having a personal stake in this.

The feeling of very very gradually drifting apart and away, made it hard to concentrate.

“God dangit. You blasted…”Alex started to curse as the screen went black, then stopped himself short and after a deep breath started mouthing what he wanted to say before it slipped his mind.

After assuring himself that he knew what he was going to say, Alex, and by extension his bound friend, moved to stand before the placidly smiling idol once more.

With a last nervous lick of his lips Alex drew in a breath and opened his mouth to address the goddess, hesitated and shut his mouth again. He turned slightly to place his free hand on the shoulder of his companion, and used gentle pressure to guide him so the two were facing each other as best as their bound arms would allow.

Alex gave the shoulder one last companionable squeeze, before speaking “The woman I wish to court-” his voice was tight with nervous energy “-no. YOU ”another squeeze ” are Mellgene " and a whole string of what you think are surnames before he ends in " daughter of the first gods of Eire”

Wait. What!?

An expectant silence filled the cabin in the wake of Alexs’ pronouncement, but nothing happened. The occasional pop of a coal and the creaking the trees outside only served to emphasize the silence.

Alex was looking increasingly nervous. When the first drop hit the shindles with a soft ‘Plock’ he actually flinched slightly. Then another drop followed, then another and soon the rain was hammering a staccato against the roof. The wind was picking up, too.

The head...no MY head tilted slowly backwards as I could feel the power building around us. Felt it roiling in the sky above. I had to see this! I barely registered my friend saying something. The returning sense of identity felt glorious! I felt the vine binding us together slough off, but it seemed an uniportant afterthought lost amidst all the other returning sensations as the roiling energies above our heads built and surged.

For a split-second I noticed a metallic tang in the air, then lightining cracked nearby. Close enough that the ensuing thunder vibrated in my bones. I HAD to see this! Seconds later a second bolt shook the cabin, and then I had finally reached the door.

And then…

And then….

The smell of ozone and burning wood. Cold rain running down my face. Incandescent light and a furious roaring.

The warmth of fire against my face and wet cloth clinging to my face, were the first coherent sensations after stepping outside. I was lying down. There was a hard surface beneath me, so I definitely wasn’t in bed. And I was dripping wet and lying beside a fire. Sooo the hut with the magical statue probably hadn’t been a dream.

Which explained why everything felt of. I didn’t need to bring my hands to my groin to confirm that I was a woman now. The way my wet jeans and underwear clung to skin told me everything I needed to know. The other obvious clue was the weight on my chest …or rather of my chest. It felt pretty substantial. Figures that Alexs magical bride would be stacked.

And then there were all the other things. Like my legs and fingers feeling like they were the wrong size. Or that different parts of me should be touching the ground based on all the other times I laid down somewhere. My butt especially; shouldn’t be swollen enough to lift my lower back entirely off the ground. But obviously it was.

For a while I just lay there, tentatively exploring an unfamiliar mouth that my tongue said tasted… not bad exactly, just …off. Because that was as much exploration as I was willing to do, while a part of me was still hoping that was all just some misunderstanding somehow.

“Don’t freak out.” Alex must have noticed when I got bold enough to explore my cheek. And his voice had sounded like he was close by.

Yep, the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes (to a view whose colors were off too) he was sitting right beside me a worried look on his face. “Are you feeling ok? Don’t speak yet, you were… pretty out of it when I found you. Take your time.”

I knew he was trying to be considerate but, him being so careful was just making me even more worried about what had happened. Best to rip of the bandaid before my imagination ran wild.

I had already noticed the long hair as I lay there, so feeling it tug at my scalp as I raised my head wasn’t a surprise. I could get it could anyway. The first thing that greeted me as I looked down were breasts. Not Hooters. Not Gazongas. Breasts. Maaaaybe a bit on the large-ishs side, but a far cry from the small mountains my fantasy had made them out to be as I lay there. I had been half-convinced I wouldn’t be able to see my feet without a mirror. Which… actually gave me a prime opportunity to realize that I had bigger problems than a reversal in gender.

Even in the dim firelight, I could see that the feet and lower legs sticking out of my jeans were the wrong color!

“We’ll think of something.” Alexs reassurance sounded like a bad joke, as I brought my hand up to confirm that it hadn’t just been a trick of the light. Sadly now. My hands had indeed a greenish tint.

“What happened? Why am I….” I asked still slightly dazed from that discovery.

“I… I got the pronunciation wrong. ” he gestured towards the statue.

“I thought if you had power of your own you might be able to reverse this.” He continued as I slowly got to my feet and made my way to the fallen runes. ( Which ended up as a half crawl half walk because my new limbs didn’t obey me properly yet ) ” So I tried to…. “ he trailed off as I raised a hand, to read the latest message.

“WeLComE INtO tHIs LiFe And a BLessEd uNIoN

MALLGEIN ODHARNAIT

DaUGhtEr oF THe FiRSt tRIBe,

tHe ONess who ruLEDed The DaWN oF Eire”

“So” I said looking down on the word “I am Mallgein now.” I was. As soon as I said it I knew the name was mine. I wouldn’t have been able to pick out my old one from amongst the walls if I tried. The same instinct also told me the pronunciation was closer to Mel-Gene than Mall-Gain.

“I think so.” {My_friend} said softly “I am sorry. I… When I had to choose a name I remembered how names are more than labels in a lot of old stories. And I that that might be the loophole we needed. If a name like -I dunno- Lily Fairchild could have you end up just like you’d expect a person named Lily Fairchild to look, a powerful name might make you powerful. And long story short the Tuatha Dé Danann were these legendary sorcerers and also kind of the gods of pre christian Ireland. And…”

“So you tried to make me a god?” I cut him off before he could go off on a longwinded tangent about old myths.

“Sort of. I mean the stories also say they were just normal people. Just with really powerful magic. So I figured I’d try giving you a name that means ‘Born to greatness’ in old irish and tag on something about having the blood of the Tuatha. Even if we aren't in Ireland they are still kind of local. And if godhood would be too much to ask, being a powerful mortal wizard might not be. I figured even if you didn’t get magic, the worst that name would do was turn you into a freckled Irish lass with fiery hair. And if you had to end up as a woman anyway, that wasn’t the worst option.”

I raised a strand of hair to my face “My hair is black.” I observed.

“Yes. I …. This wasn’t the name I was going for. But my phone is dead. I can’t .. I don’t know what it means. I saw the runes moving as the storm started and I went to check them. And then you opened the door….”

Right I had almost forgotten about that. What had happened there?

“You had this look on your face…. Like you were on ****. Or praying. Or ..something. you were outside before I could pull you back and … I tried to follow but as soon as I stepped outside it was like those flashbangs from videogames. One moment I try to grab you the next I am blind and deaf. A lightning bolt must have come down just a few meters from us. By the time I could see again you were nowhere to be found. I tried calling but it was no use. And I swear the storm was trying to **** me. I almost got killed when a tree exploded like some frag grenade. ” I had heard about that, the bolt could turn sap into steam in the instant it was earthed and when a lot of steam was suddenly trapped in a lot of tiny pores inside the wood that pressure had to go somewhere. And I was probably still in mild shock if my thoughts drifted down these tangents while Alex was still trying to explain why he had run for the shelter of this cabin instead of trying to find me in the dark. “…went back out as soon as storm dropped off. I found you lying on the ground, a tree was still burning a few feet away from you! I thought you were dead! That you had died while I hid.. and…. ”

I could hear his voice wavering at the memory. “It’s ok.” I said not turning around “ Going back was the smart thing. Running into a burning building to save your friend looks heroic. But outside the movies that’s how children become orphans. The mother going back inside to look for their husband. ”

“Hrm.” Alex gave a non-commital grunt.

After a minute of me staring at the floor and Alex wrestling with his bad conscience something hit me “I know what went wrong.”

“Huh.”

“You called me ‘daughter of the first tribe’. ”

“Yes. In the stories the Tuatha are the ancestors of the Irish and the first druids. I thought it would be better than claiming you were related to any specific god. ”

“But…. In the old tales the gods aren’t the first. There is always something before them. The Norse fight the giants. The greek gods have the Titanomachia or something where they defeat some giants. I think the Hindu gods had kill some demons called Asura. And the Japanese gods probably fought the Oni. “ I turned to give Alex a wry smile ” You see, I do listen when you talk. So did these Tuatha have to kick out some evil giants too?”

The look on his face said it all.

“The Fomorians. ”

That would explain my skin. And why my trousers felt a lot shorter and my t-shirt was now a belly-shirt.