An offer arises

They had been inside talking for about an hour, and Scott felt better getting a lot of things off his chest.

“You know, you should probably start charging me for these therapy sessions.” Scott said, trying to lighten the mood. He hadn’t really talked about a lot of the stuff that bothered him before, it felt good, and helped him settle down. The hurt was still there, but it had at least moved a bit farther to the back.

“Scott, you really should find someone to talk to. If you want you could see the lady I go to, she already knows a lot about our family from me.”

“Yeah. I’ll think about it, need to get money first.”

They sat in silence a bit more, Lydia had only had two texts since they came inside, Scott had no clue what she sent back, but it bought them a ton of uninterrupted time.

“You ready for me to unlock the door, Scott?”

He thought for a moment, there probably wasn’t a better time to do this.

“Not yet, I need to talk to you.”

“Me specifically?”

“Yeah. What you offered the other day.”

“Lots of casual sex? You can say it Scott,” Lydia smiled and looked him over, “You certainly can do it.”

“Yes, about your offer of us having sex.”

“For the record, today was a quickie, I can do a lot better.”

“Lydia!”

“Sorry, I’ll let you talk.” She looked nervous, like she was about to be rejected.

He figured the best way was just to blurt it all out, and hopefully sort something out of it in the process.

“When I went to the Bike Shop after we talked yesterday Jenn let me know she wants a relationship.”

Lydia nodded. “About time she said it.”

“And then last night and this morning some stuff happened that let me know that Suzie wants to also have a ‘casual sex relationship’ with me.”

“Suzie?”

“You remember Doug Carter? Suzie is his little sister.”

“THAT Suzie? Spoiled little annoying princess Suzie?”

“She’s not that bad.”

Lydia glared at him, then; “Okay, to be fair, I haven’t seen her since she was what? Eleven?”

“Yeah, sounds about right.”

It took one visit, one really bad visit, for Mrs. Carter to ban Suzie and Doug from ever being around Angel. Apparently, Mrs. Carter and Angel had a history. And to be fair to Lydia, Suzie had been awful.

“She’s grown up now.”

“What is she, 18?”

“Yeah.” Scott hung his head.

“Alright, I’m not judging, how did this happen.”

Scott told her everything. Her liking him when she was a kid, him coming back and the flirting, the hotness, the attempt at a three-way, the disaster after that and the next morning.

“Wow. Are you really considering this?”

“Yeah, she’s a lot of fun, and she’s really hot.”

“And the Carters, Doug?”

“Doug’s okay with it as long as it’s not in his face, and her parents seem to be rooting for it.”

“Yeah, I can see that. She sounds naïve and headstrong; you’d be good for her. Do you think the two of you can keep it casual, keep it from being a serious thing?”

“I don’t know.”

Lydia looked thoughtful for a minute. “Okay, bring her over.”

“What?” Scott nearly shouted.

“Not here, not to Angel’s house, to my apartment.”

“What for?”

“She wants to get freaky? Let’s get freaky.”

“Seriously, no. No way.”

“Scott, she’s naïve and whether she wants to admit it or not, she’s most likely in love with you. You want this to be a casual thing, bring her here. If she wants something serious, she’ll balk. If she really just wants to explore sex with a sexy guy she trusts a lot, she’ll do just that.”

“Or maybe she’s not into sex with other women.”

“Think about that night Scott, she was willing, you said she told you they planned it. You said she seemed nervous that night, that it let you know something was up.”

“Yeah.”

“Then she was already up for sharing you with someone she clearly didn’t trust.”

“Now she can share me with someone neither of us trusts?”

Lydia looked hurt.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

“No, it’s okay Scott, I know our history wasn’t great.”

“We talked about this; I don’t blame you.”

Lydia’s face changed; a flash of anger hit her. “Cut the shit Scott, you can’t tell me you don’t blame me, that it’s all happy memories and then let me know you don’t trust me. I know I hurt you, I know your ego won’t let you admit that sex with me hurt you, but it did, I know it, you know it.”

The anger passed, and she looked like she was about to cry.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Scott, but I did, I used you and hurt you. And I’m sorry. I know it’s crazy to say that while I’m practically begging you for more, but I’m not that girl anymore. We’re both grown up and I’d like to think we could do better now. And if it’s worth anything, you kept me going. That winter, when I ran away and we met up at the park. I was in a dark place, I honestly don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come.”

Scott took a moment to think. Lydia was right, he knew how much she hurt him, but he didn’t want to admit it, he didn’t blame her because he knew she didn’t mean to do it, she was coping with her own shit. And that park. . . Fucking in a tree house with snow all around, cold and hot and confused while the sexiest girl he knew threw herself at him with a desperation he’d never seen before or since.

“Shit Lydia, that night shaped so much of my ideas of sex, love, everything.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, you had your say, here’s mine. It hurt like hell every time you ditched me, I felt guilty, stupid, weak, but I wouldn’t have taken it back then, and I wouldn’t now. I don’t blame you because I know why you needed to do it, and I know why I went along with it. There's a lot of fucked up things I wish never happened in my life, but those moments with you aren’t on that list. It was like something beautiful in a sea of shit Lydia. And it was worth the pain.”

Lydia was crying. Scott went to her, picked her up out of her chair and held her. She wrapped her arms around him, clutching on to him like he might run away at any minute as she cried into his chest.

“You were the one that never left Scott.”

“Until I did.”

“You came back. Please don’t leave me again.”

She shuddered, like she had realized what she just said.

“I’m sorry Scott, that’s such a shitty thing to dump on someone. You don’t owe me, you don’t need to. . .”

Scott interrupted her with a kiss. She didn’t kiss him back.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to do stuff with me, Scott, I understand, but please don’t shut me out or run away. Even if it’s just a phone call, I need to know you are still here, that you still care.”

God we’re fucked up. Scott thought. He was always wrapped up in his own issues, he never really thought about Lydia’s life, outside of how she could get any guy she wanted. He thought that made her life charmed. Looking back, it wasn’t hard to see how rough she had it.

“I promise, Lydia.”