An anal douche

In his hands, Andrew held an anal douche; one with a surprisingly thick nozzle at that.

Andrew knew what it was from an ex-girlfriend having used one to cleanse her rear before she let Andrew take her anal virginity, and he immediately went wide-eyed as he realized the implication of his mother presenting him with it.

“No. There’s no way ANYTHING is going up my ass”, Andrew deftly declared in his natural male voice, throwing the douche onto his mother’s bed.

Charlene just looked at him with a neutral expression, before calmly taking her phone out of her pocket, ringing a number, and putting it on speakerphone so Andrew could listen in.

After a few rings, Andrew recognised the voice of his father picking up, and he entered severe panic mode when Charlene said, “Hey there John, just calling to let you about something our son has gotten up to”.

“*sigh* What’s he done now, broken another girl’s heart and now her father’s out for blood?”, John inquired, by now used to Andrew’s romantic endeavours and sexscapades landing him in hot water.

In a hushed tone, Andrew pleaded with his mother; “No no no no no no no no please don’t Mom I’ll do whatever you say I’ll please don’t tell Dad!”.

“No it’s not that, he’s been away from the girls, it’s more to do with what he’s been doing with Brian…”.

Charlene had a look on her face which he knew all too well meant he had to provide her with far more convincing, and Andrew realised that he had broken character, and Andrea would stand a better chance.

Raising his voice into the all too family girly soprano, Andrea begged ‘her’ mother in a whispering tone, “Please don’t tell Daddy I’ll be a good girl like I promise I’ll totally put whatever you want up my butt mommy just don’t let him know pleeeaaaasssseeee!”.