An Unexpected Detour

“I do feel guilty,” I said. “I agree with Flora. We should at least try and fix the damage we caused.”

“Fiiiinnnnee,” sighed Sofia. “You’re the leader, after all.”

“Thanks,” I said. “I promise, if it looks like it’s gonna attack us, we’ll just run away.”

“It went over this way,” said Flora, leading us off the main road. After a few minutes, we came to a clearing in the woods. The cyclops was lying down, sat up against a large rock.

“Be careful,” said Sofia. “Try not to look threatening.” Flora and I nodded, slowly approaching the wounded giant.

“Hey there, big guy,” Flora called out, gaining the Cyclops’ attention. “We’re sorry about before. We didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You no mean hurt Gor?” The cyclops bellowed, but not with anger or intensity. It appeared that was just its normal volume.

“That’s right,” I said. “We were just scared. We thought you were going to hurt us.”

“So you do mean hurt Gor!” The cyclops said, scrunching up into a ball.

“No, it was just a misunderstanding,” said Flora in the most calming voice she had.

“Miss Under standing? Who Miss Under?” The giant asked. For fuck’s sake.

“What she meant was that if we had known you were friendly, we wouldn’t have hurt you,” I said.

“Yeah! We can be friends, Gor! I can even help make your leg better!” said Flora, inching closer to the cyclops.

“You friend with Gor? Gor like friends,” said Gor.

“I like friends too,” said Flora. “And friends help friends.” She slowly approached the cyclops, setting her bag on the floor. “How about you tell me about your friends while I patch up this wound?”

“Oh kay. Gor have big rock friend. Gor have big tree friend. Gor have bird-lady friend,” said Gor. “Now Gor have more friend.” Said Gor. Wait. One of these things is not like the others.

“What do you mean ‘bird-lady friend’,”I asked. The cyclops pointed up at a nearby tree, where a familiar crow sat on a branch.

“There Gor friend. Bird turn lady. Gor like lady,” said the cyclops as Flora finished bandaging his leg. True to his word, the crow flew down from the branch, transforming mid-flight into a woman wearing your stereotypical witch outfit, but she had traded the green skin and hooked nose for huge tits and a beauty mark under her eye.

“What the-” I stammered, grabbing my sword, but I was unable to unsheathe it.

“Oh, none of that. You people have done more than enough **** for one day,” she said in a voice that was simultaneously threatening and seductive.

“Who are you?” demanded Sofia.

“I am the great witch, Minerva,” she declared. “Surely a mage of your meager caliber has heard of me?”

“Who?” Sofia asked.

“How cruel!” the witch screamed, feigning heartbreak. “No matter.”

“You got over that way too quick!” Sofia deadpanned.

“I am the witch who rules over these woods,” Minerva said. “And I don’t appreciate you harming my denizens.”

“But, we already said it was a misunderstanding! Flora even helped patch him back up!” I said.

“Oh...? Then, was frying my poor pet manticore also just a...misunderstanding?” She said, her voice dripping with venom.

“Tch,” I grunted.

“Your ‘pet’ attacked us,” Lucille said, showing off her broken arm. “Any wounds it received were due to its owner’s poor handling.”

“Guh!” Minerva grunted. “I...suppose that is fair. That would make us even, then.”

“Not...exactly,” declared Lucille. “Your manticore caused long-lasting damage to me. My arm may never function the same again. I’m an adventurer. Your irresponsible pet ownership may have just cost me my main source of income! We’re going to require something more than just an apology!”

As Lucille continued to verbally berate the witch, Minerva’s previous confidence visibly crumbled until she was a sobbing mess. Somehow, the two came to the conclusion that Minerva would bring us back to her house in the woods, and at the very least, let us stay the night there while Lucille looked for a suitable “tribute”.

Scary.