Amanda meets Park Rangers

Amanda, still under the influence of the shrooms, turned to walk into the direction of the voices, taking in all the pretty colors of her surroundings. A little while later, Amanda paused as she saw what looked like a giant ham with wings, windows, and an eerie smile floating in the middle of a clearing while a werewolf clown and a half-aardvark, half-kangaroo were having a conversation as the werewolf played an xylophone in the ham's mouth.

Of course, in reality, the giant ham was actually a jeep with it's hood up. And both the werewolf and aardvark/kangaroo were actually two park rangers, a man and a woman, who were fixing the engine.

"I told them time and time again that these things need replacing, but do they listen? No! Why would they?" The male ranger griped as he used the wrench in his hand to tighten a bolt.

"You're turning it the wrong way, Ted." The female ranger commented.

Ted let out a groan as he stopped and glared at his partner. "Oh, I'm sorry, Frida. Did you want to do this?!"

Frida opened her mouth to say something before going wide eyed at the sight of Amanda stepping out of the bushes. "What the hell?"

Ted turned around and stumbled back in surprise as Amanda looked at him with a grin. "Uh, are you okay, Ma'am?"

Amanda laughed as she saw the Werewolf Clown breakdance a bit before he and the aardvark/kangaroo turned to face her.

"Greetings!" The Werewolf Clown said in a deep, liquid voice. "I am You Fuckin' Ass Clown. This is my partner, You Fat Ugly Bitch."

"What’s your name?" You Fat Ugly Bitch asked in a squeaky high pitched voice.

"Ma'am, are you hurt? Can you tell us your name?" Frida asked, trying to get some information out of the naked woman right in front of them.

"I'm Amanda." Amanda greeted with a smile. "Nice to meet you, You Fat Ugly Bitch. And you too, You Fuckin' Ass Clown."

"... What did she just call us?" Frida asked flatly.

"Wait! Look!" Ted said quietly as he pointed to the mushrooms in Amanda's hand, "She must have eaten one of those mushrooms from over by the stream."

"Ugh, not another one. I blame that Bear Grylls idiot." Frida groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. Clearing her throat, she turned her attention back to the naked woman and smiled. "Okay, Ma'am. I'm gonna need you to come with us..."

"That's quite a strange name, is it not?" You Fat Ugly Bitch said chipperly.

"Indeed, but fitting for a strange creature." You Fuckin' Ass Clown stated before looking at Amanda and pointing. "Look! A glarbonxious!"

"Goody!" You Fat Ugly Bitch squealed in excitement, turning to Amanda. "Ms. Amanda, please be a dear and hand us that glarbonxious so we can play Glarbonxious Ball! You can play too. You just have to toss it to us and then run while we chase you."

Amanda was about to ask what a glarbonxious even was when she looked down and saw a yellow and orange spotted half-slug, half-saxophone creature with seventy-eight legs look up at her.

"Worht em dna ll'I ekam lla ruoy sehsiw emoc eurt, Sm. Tnediserp!" The creature said in a warped voice that sounded eerily similar to Sylvester Stallone.

"Okay then!" Amanda exclaimed as she picked up the creature and tossed it. "Catch, You Fat Ugly Bitch!"

"What?!" Frida exclaimed as she watched Amanda hurl the skunk towards the park rangers, the frightened animal landing at their feet before spraying both Frida and Ted.

Frida coughed and gagged from the stench as Ted bent over and dry heaved, the two Rangers watching the skunk run off before looking up to glare at Amanda.

"Try and catch me, You Fuckin' Ass Clown and You Fat Ugly Bitch!" Amanda shouted with a laugh as she ran off into the woods with the mushrooms still in hand.

"Oh that is it!" Frida shouted, "I'm placing that woman under arrest!"

"But what about us?!" Ted asked, "We're twenty-five miles from the Ranger Station and we smell like a sewer caught on fire!"

"We can worry about a bath later!" Frida snapped, "Let’s get her!"