Allison ( Maze of Women ), by sumedokin

“The very first fucking thing in this is a fucking link to some other fucking story we are supposed to read!”

“Err...I am sure we can get the general gist of it via context. I am pretty good at that.”

“Right.”

“At any rate, this is another story in Bad ends, Gina.”

“We covered this before?”

“Indeed, the one with the north pole expedition that turned...pfft south.”

“I remember this because of two things, the absolute absence of sex and the creepy mustache guy. I hope for the sake of this author that this one is better.”

“Hence we are reading Allison ( Maze of Women ), by sumedokin"

“Ok, there is a picture of the protagonist on the first chapter. And it’s actually not shit for once.”

“I suppose it is decently drawn. The author, of course, has nothing on my artistic skills, but very few have.”

The mastermind of the eponymous maze, technological genius and five time Pornathlon Champion; with astonishing intellect and energy but attention-span and common sense that leave a lot to be desired.

A tall, trim woman with long reddish brown hair and gray eyes. She usually wears slim fit jeans that reaches to her waist, comfy lime green, low-cut shirts and she will always wear sandals if there is the slightest opportunity to do so. While she herself is a B-cup and comfortable as such she has an appreciation for the aesthetics of busty women, especially busty women who dominate men.

“That sounds a lot like you, Marcie.”

“Oh please, I never wear sandals.”

“She looks like a smug little shit as well, so I can’t wait for her to get a bad end!”

“Whelp, the sooner we start the sooner we get to that. So, without further ado.”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

“I...don’t even know what to say, Marcie.”

“Maybe we should just take things from the top? It will at least be funnier this way.”

“Haaa..”

“We start the story with Allison taking a shower.”

“Which means this story is already more sexy then the one from mustache man. But don’t get too comfortable, because this is as sexy as it gets.”

“Surprisingly enough, Allison suddenly starts talking. In fact she starts talking to us!”

“Yes, it’s one of those fucking fourth wall break story. I fucking hate when they do this.”

“Whoa there, little miss candy butt! That’s a rude thing to say!”

“Oh, fuck no! Go bother dickgirl guys cunts, you cunt!”

“This is highly irregular, Allison. You should really wait until the answer chapter before you start replying.”

“And let you two just insult my story? No way. I like to be proactive.”

“Do you know how fucking confusing this will be for the readers? Most of the idiots can’t even follow when there’s just two of us!”

Allison: “How about this then? Makes things easier, right?”

Marcie: “This feels very gross.”

Gina: “You know what? Fuck it, let’s just get this over with.”

"Nu uh! Now way! No point in denying it." Allison says, placing her hand on her hip, "I know cause that's what I would do. In fact I have done it! I've done that with you!"

She... has watched you get bad ended? Like defeated and abused?

Marcie: “She is talking about you, Gina.”

Gina: “As if, she probably read one of unkown’s shitty hatefics.”

Marcie: “Ugh, don’t remind me.”

Allison: “You guys really need to stop obsessing over unknown7. Some of her stuff is pretty funny. Although, she is a tad obsessed with Maledom. Not my style, you know?”

Gina: “Go away.”

Allison: “I’m just saying. I’m a bit disappointed you never continued Dark Lord, right when it was getting good.”

Marcie: “Could we please return our focus towards the current story?”

Allison: “Got it. Get a move on then, you two. I don’t have all day. Actually, I do. By the way, do you have any snacks here? Beyond Lemon cake, I mean. I like to keep my figure.”

Marcie: “Gina please, synopsis.”

Gina: “This bitch here makes contact with us. And since this is a story about bad ends, her bad end is about to be coming. Naturally, she wants to to avoid this.”

Allison: “I mean, duh.”

Marcie: “Since we are pretty nice people, and have an interest to cease being an ethereal dimension hopping voice, we help Allison out.”

Gina: “In order to do that we need to...oh,fuck me, I feel so stupid saying this.”

Marcie: “Say it.”

Gina: “We need to help LeBron James win a basketball game against Mario and Luigi.”

Allison: “And Princess Peach!”

Gina: “What the actual fuck, Allison? You think this shit’s sexy?”

Marcie: “Peach is pretty sexy.”

Gina: “Shut up, Marcie.”

Allison: “Hey don’t blame me, sumedokin just has a huge hard on for Lola Bunny.”

Marcie: “That reminds me, remember that scene in Space Jam where one of the Monstars loses his shorts and Lola comments on his naked buttocks?”

Gina “…”

Allison: “Oh yeah!”

Marcie: “That scene felt strangely fetishy, I mean, the cheeks where jiggling and all that. Not that I am complaining.”

Allison: “I totally get, what you are saying! I used to cum so hard to that orange bubbly alien butt.”

Gina: “I hate you both so fucking much.”

Marcie: “Ehem, be that as it may, I don’t think this basketball match is supposed to be erotic.”

Gina: “Nothing in this fucking story is erotic!”

Allison: “You take that back! LeBron James is super sexy!”

Gina: “No he isn’t!”

Allison: “Yes, he is!”

Gina: “Nu uh!”

Allison: “Ah uh!”

Marcie: “For the sake of my sanity, please stop.”

Gina: “I mean, holy fuck, you could have at least wore the bunnygirl outfit.”

Allison. “Uh! Speaking of, way to go for the low hanging fruit with the BGM here. Come on, have some class you two! Like, something like this would have been soo much better.”

Gina: “That’s all on Marcie. I couldn’t give two shits about the nerd shit she picks.”

Marcie. “How rude. I put great care in choosing the BGM with every review. And do I get any credit for my musical brilliance? Nay! Narely any of the authors ever acknowledges it! Ungrateful gnats!”

Allison: “It probably doesn’t help that half the videos are getting copyright claimed, you know? Not exactly sustainable for posterity.”

Marcie: “I am aware of the issue. I even created a playlist, but it is rather cumbersome. Youtube system sure is a pain in the pffft posterior.”

Allison: “Hah!...I don’t get it.”

Marcie: “Well, you used posterity in your last sentence, so I...”

Gina: “Will you two bitches move on already!”

Allison: “Fine, fine.”

LeBron sneered towards your robot body, then back to Allison who shrugged, "Look, he's new to this all right."

Marcie: “That is a big gaffe from the author. When your story is this meta, you really don’t want to assume your readers gender.”

Gina: “Especially since we are some weird ghost voice! You completely ruined my immersion!”

Allison: “Let’s be real here. You are just about the only two girls who read this. Sumedokin is just catering to his audience.”

Gina: “This shitty story has no audience.”

Marcie: “Ehem, the match starts and it is very tight. It eventually comes down to this.”

x( 12 -x )=40 solve for x.

Gina: “WHY THE FUCK DO WE HAVE TO DO MATH IN A PORN STORY!”

Allison: “Again, don’t blame me for what wets that weird little man’s penguin.”

Marcie: “Hohohoho!”

Allison: “But then again, this will be good. Time to prove for Marcie that she is as smart as she thinks she is.”

Gina: “It will be pretty fucking humiliating if you get this wrong.”

Marcie “Oh please, a trifling matter. The answer is -52, or none of the above.”

Gina: “Did she get it right?”

Allison: “I don’t end up getting bad ended on this branch so...I guess? Honestly I think it’s just some nonsense sumedokin made up.”

Gina: “Aren’t you supposed to be some kind of super genius?”

Allison: “I am a technological genius. I never said I was good at math.”

Marcie: “Your inadequate IQ matters little to me. Naturally, I was able to solve a problem of this...scale. For I am..Uggh….haaaa,…” moans sexually

Gina: “Did you just fucking orgasm by solving a math problem?”

Allison: “She totally did.”

Marcie: “It reminded me of that time I made Gina recount all the prime numbers from 100 backwards. That was tremendously tantalizing.”

Gina: “Nothing should surprise me anymore. But it does.”

Allison: “Oh wow, guess that means I got Marcie to orgasm to my story! I’m touched, really.”

Marcie: “To be fair, it was a very erotic formula.”

Gina: “So we win the stupid fucking game and Lebron helps us. We learn that we are actually in a coma, which we totally aren’t.”

Marcie: “That is quite the sudden turn, Allison. A bit dark actually for what was a very lighthearted comedy until now.”

Allison: “Hey, I’m not the one writing this. I think sumo-king is just going for this old trope. You know, how Ash Ketchum is actually in a coma and stuff?”

Gina: “No, I don’t know. All I know is that there is fucking absolutely zero sex in your garbage basketball story, you stupid bitch.”

Allison. “You know, in that pervert authors defense, there is sex in the story. You two just have a magical gift for avoiding it. Pretty impressive actually.”

Marcie: “Unfortunately that is where the story stands as of now, settling at a to be continued.”

Allison: “Eh, I’m sure sumedokin will update it eventually. I don’t want to get bad ended after all, so he better delivers. Speaking of which, can you tell Gambio to continue Sissy Slaves?”

Gina: “No, we are not on speaking terms with that fuck.”

Allison: “Bummer. Aaaaanyways! What did you all think about it? Did you masturbate to my amazing adventure? I mean Marcie did, but what about you Gina?”

Gina: “No, now piss off.”

Allison: “Aww, Gina please.”

Marcie: “Well, anyways, this story was uhh...certainly a thing that was written.”

Allison: “Right?”

Marcie: “I am not really sure what exactly the author was going for, to be honest.”

Gina: “I do. This is just a giant shitpost, Marcie. Just the same as google’s fucking story.”

Allison. “Uh! The Zelda one right? We actually have one of these as well! Zelda I mean. On Bad Ends. Should we read that next? It has cucco’s in it.”

Gina: “No.”

Marcie: “Ehem, I believe we should wrap this up rather sooner then later. I refuse for this review to become the longest we ever written.”

Allison: “Well, this was fun. Time for me to go back and not getting bad ended. Because I am very good at that.”

Gina: “Fuck off already. And get rid of these disgusting things.”

“Yes, Yes.”

“Actually, before you leave us, Allison, allow me to add one more criticism.”

“Yes?”

“I think sumedokin missed a huge opportunity. He really should have called the story...pfft...Space James!”

“Gyahahahahahahahaha!”

“Ohohohohohoho.”

“I hope you both die in a ditch.”