All the way back

I don't think I introduced myself properly. Flynn "Sparrow" Robert, from an unimportant village on Henta Island. The demographics leaned mostly to old men and mature women. I staved off boredom by fantasizing about said women. My tutor, my neighbor and her daughter, nurses, I was becoming a dirty old man before my time. Again, as a fighter I'm average on a good day, but on that island I was the most able-bodied man there, something I would only later be acknowledged as when pirates showed up to hide out.

In a hilarious twist of fate, that was the day the neighbor girl confessed to me and we made sweet love. It was so vanilla compared to the stuff I do now, but she let me finish on her double Ds, so it not like I didn't have charm before. We barely had time to bask in the afterglow before the pirates were spotted. It would have been bad enough if just the chief walked in but my mom was right behind him.

"Good, you're a full fledged man now. You can defend the village with no regrets." He said with too much enthusiasm.

Mom just awkwardly tried to pretend like she didn't see anything as she walked backwards and made herself needlessly more embarrassed after saying "Come with us." Maybe she was thinking "cum" and thought if she said anything else, she'd slip up and really say something dirty.

"We've been keeping something for just such an emergency. At any rate, we can't let it fall into the wrong hands."

I got dressed and we went to his office. He pulled away his tacky old rug and started working open a floor safe. He was taking so long I thought he lost the combination to senility. When he got it open, he pulled out a fruit like big cherries with swirls on them.

"You'll have to eat it to know which devil fruit it is, but it's very likely to give you an advantage over them. The only catch is you lose the ability to swim."

"I never learned to swim."

"Then congratulations, you have nothing to lose."

His optimistic enthusiasm was practically his defining quirk, I thought as he practically shoved them in my mouth. The taste was terrible, but that was to be expected..by people who knew about these things ahead of time, a luxury I wasn't afforded. I tried using the stem to rub the taste off my tongue, but all that accomplished was proving I could tie it with my tongue. Worth it.

"Now go and stall the pirates while you figure out what you can do. Don't strain yourself."

"If this works out, I expect a hero's reward."

So after a crash course on the different types of fruit powers, I went off, not feeling all that different, quickly ruling out Zoan and Logia made faces and waved my arms like a silly kid. I came up with nothing by the time I made it to shore. By the time they set anchor, my plan was to talk my way out of this, in retrospect the perfect strategy. Also, as the proverbial cherry on top, they were an all female crew. The only way it could have been better would be if they were scantily clad and untouched by men. I know, total male fantasy.