Airport security

(Republished with kind permission of Captain Quixote)

"Remove your shoes please." Ralph had said that so many times today that the monotony was maddening. This time was a bit different though. He wanted her to remove more than just her shoes. She was a knockout blonde just a little over thirty. It was time to see if his rigged metal detector really worked. "Place any metal items you have in here," he said dryly as he motioned to a little plastic basket.

As she stepped through, he covertly pressed a concealed button that set the detector off. Maintaining his facade of boredom he told her, "Step back through. Are you certain you don't have any other metal on you?"

"I think so." She examined her pockets thoroughly, found nothing and stepped through again. Another touch of Ralph's hidden button confirmed that she did have some metal on her somewhere. "What do I do?"

Ralph gave it half a moment of thought so as not to seem too eager. "Try it again, without your jacket." Of course, he set it off again. The people behind her were already getting restless so they were slowly moving over to another line. She looked at him helplessly as she went over herself again.