Activate I.E.S.I.

So, not but a few minutes later, you find yourself in the master bedroom, staring a bit apprehensively at the slim, blue button you found just behind the picture of a calm, bright blue sea. After a second's hesitation you press the button.

A low humming noise seems to emanate from the entire house and you jump in surprise as the picture moves back into place of its own accord! After a moment the humming stops and a smooth, vaguely sensual female voice speaks as if from the very walls themselves!

Good afternoon, Mistriss Alysson, spoke the house. I.E.S.I. is activated and ready to assist you in any way possible.

"Um...," you mutter, confused that the machine seems to not recognize you. "Hello I.E.S.I., I think you are mistaken - my name is John Doe, I'm the new owner of this house."

Error. You are Mistriss Alysson, creator and owner of this mansion and myself, the house responded defiantly. Would you care to recieve a diagnosis of I.E.S.I. now?

Reasoning that the sudden passing of your aunt had prevented her from actually finishing I.E.S.I. you decided to just go with it and told the machine to give you the diagnosis.

Analyzing. I.E.S.I. is operating currently at 33% of optimal efficiancy with currently completed systems as follows: Hygiene, Nourishment, Cleaning, Communication.

Uncompleted systems are as follows: MISSING NAME, MISSING NAME, Owner-Transfer Recognition, Command Word: Deactivate, Command Word: System Override, MISSING NAME, MISSING NAME, MISSING NAME.

Ability to comply with the wishes of the current owner, UNAVAILABLE ANALYSIS.

Do you wish for further diagnosis, Alysson?

"No that wont be neccessary, I.E.S.I.," you say, overwhelmed by the possiblilites of the house, even with only 33% of systems active. You were just about to ask I.E.S.I. to make dinner when she acted on her own.

Sensors indicate increased levels of Hunger. Please remain still while feet-clamps are locked.

"Wha-," you shout, scared as two metal bands clamp your feet down to the ground. "Hey, what are you doing?!"

Please remain calm while you are guided to the dining room.

The floor beneath your feet had turned metallic and bang to move you towards the stairs! Bracing for the fall that was sure to be imminent, you are surprised to see the stairs turn into a smooth metal slide and you were smoothly transfered down to the dining room and took a seat in the chair. Not a moment later a tray of calamari and speggetti appeared before you - things your aunt liked; things that you hate to eat.

"Umm, I.E.S.I.," you say, trying to avoid the long, metal arm that was attempting to **** feed you. "I don't like this stuff, is there anything else?"

Error. This is Mistriss Alysson's favorite meal, ordered to be served every Tuesday. Please finish your meal Alysson.

Despite your protests the arm fed you the digusting food, ignoring the gag each time you were made to swallow. Finally, exhausted from the experience, you pushed away your empty plate.

Nourishment Complete. Alysson, do you wish to take your bath now or exercise?