Absolutely Nothing?

It was about as average of a day as it could be in Gold Springs, and frankly Texas was more than happy about that. For all her git up and go, rough and tumble lifestyle it was nice just to have a day as Sheriff where she didn't have to put her life (and or dignity) on the line. Every lawlady needs a day once in a while where all she as to do is slap a few tickets on some improperly hitched horses and help an old lady cross the street. It was a quarter to noon when Texas decided she was finished with her magnificently mundane day, so she dusted off her palms and headed back to the Sheriff's Department to file some paperwork and have a swig of bourbon to celebrate a job well done. The moment she opened the door, the thoroughly relaxed Texas got a nice big double whammy of rude awakenings; The first of which was the smell.

It was a robust, heady aroma of rancid Limburger soaked in vinegar and for Texas it was like walking into a brick wall. One whiff had tears welling up in her eyes and she might've dropped right then and there if she hadn't plugged her nose and cleared the air a bit with her hat.

"PeeYEW! Did some vermin keel over in the cell again?" Texas gagged, "Eugh, or knowin' my luck one of those OTHER vermin decided to leave me a package. If it's a sack o' flamin' horse crap again..."

"I ain't seen nobody drop nothin' by, and I been here alllll day!"

That was the OTHER surprise waiting for Texas in the office. Sitting in HER chair, with her disgusting socks kicked up on HER desk was... Texas herself? No, wait a minute that's ridiculous! Texas shook her head and took another look at the imitator hogging her seat. This other Texas was a weasel for sure, and in fact had a similar color of fur to Texas, a similar hair style to Texas, and even a uniform right down to the gold star shining on her vest! But there were a few distinct features, namely the crooked teeth sticking out of her grinning maw and the massive unkempt eyebrows perched just above her peepers. And those sizeable, stinking stompers! They were at least a size fifteen women's and those socks must've been the only ones she'd ever owned from just how stained and holey they were. The fake Texas noticed Texas staring in disgust at her fuming feet and wiggled a big toe at her.

"So what brings yer ta the Shurf's office t'day, ma'am?" the Fake Texas said, not shifting an inch from her lounging, "I oughts ta warn ya, we're real backed up on crime and all so's I can't get to any complaints till at least the uhhh second Tuesday of next month."

"It ain't even the first Tuesday of THIS month ya lazy lout," a dumbfounded Texas said, then straightened herself up, "A-and past that you ain't even the Sheriff! I'm the Sheriff! I'm Texas Stanton!"

The fake Texas wagged her finger, "Nuh-uh uh, I'm the Shurf round here missy ma'am," she held out the star pinned to her chest, "And since errybody knows the shurf in Golden Springs is Texas Stanfords, that makes me her! Anyone can tell ya that. Y'oughta stayed in school, huh huh."

"G-golden-, Stanf--" Texas wanted to rip her hair out, "You couldn't even SPELL Sheriff you wet match in a damp coalmine! If you don't clear your keister outta MY seat this instant I'm gonna relocate you myself, and it's gonna be to that cozy little cell RIGHT over there!"

"Now what is all the commotion going on in here? Someone better not be harassing our beloved sheriff!"

A familiar voice came from behind Texas. It was Mayor Vivian, who squeezed herself right into the office behind Texas. She barely took note of the actual Texas, instead focus immediately on the faker at the desk. She waved politely and smiled at the Fake who did the same with her crooked grin. Vivian said,

"Oh thank you again for joining my mother and I for tea and cake Sheriff Stanton, it was a delight!"

"A'course ma'am, all in-- UUURP!" The fake Texas pounded her chest and fired off a belch that still tasted like cake, "All day's werk."

"Beg PARDON?" Texas grabbed Vivian by the shoulders and spun her around, "Vivian, I know ya hate me but you can't honestly believe THAT is ME?"

Vivian's eyes went wide. She pulled back in, (admittedly over-acted) shock looking like she was going to faint.

"Oh my stars and garters!" She wailed, “Why this is unprecedented! Two Texases!"

"Yeah, and the one with a bear trap for a mouth and two wooly bears stuck to her face is--" Texas started to speak but Vivian cut her off,

"There's no time for that, possible-Texas! As the mayor of our fair city I must take action! We have to gather everyone up! There's an imposter among us!"

Before Vivian could dart back out the door, Texas jumped in front of the doorway and blocked it off.

"Now HOLD on one minute," Texas said, "This stinks even more than that faker's fumin' footwear. There's an OBVIOUS fake in my office and the first thing you wanna do is get together some kinda kangaroo court so's you can oust me! I ain't gonna have it!"

"That's EXACTLY what the faker would say," Fake Texas shouted from her seat.

"That is true, that sounds EXACTLY like a faker..." Vivian narrowed her eyes at the True Texas, "Besides, it's not going to be a trial, it's going to be a competition! A Sheriff Showdown! Just like the one your mother held all those years ago."

Texas's confounded consternation cooled for just a second. Her mother? She vaguely remembered a tall tale her mother had told Texas about a time that a sneaky stoat had tried impersonating her. She’d stolen all of Carolina’s documents, the keys to the city, even her outfit. The only way Carolina was able to prove herself to the citizens of Gold Springs was through some truly gritty feats of strength. Eventually when the faker couldn’t keep up with the real deal the game was over, and even though she had Carolina dead to rights the true sheriff prevailed in the end. The thought of having to do something like that intimidated Texas, but at the same time?

Part of her was fired up.

“Is that how it’s gonna be then?” Texas said, a bit of courage welling up in her chest, “Well, I suppose if it’s the only way to prove myself above this lowlife liar–”

Wait a minute, was she actually going to do this? Sure it SEEMED like it made a lot of sense, and the whole idea of having to prove herself just like her Mama did definitely tickled a part of Texas’s southern pride. But at the same time this was all too perfectly set up! Her, Vivian, this faker. If somebody wanted to trick Texas right into a trap then using the legacy of her dear sweet Ma was certainly the way to go.

Was it time to belly up and prove herself, or was discretion the better part of valor?