AR Returns Ch46

“It’s not? It’s not you trying to get some butt plugs so you can get yourself ready for Riley and surprise her with anal next time you see her?” Stef leans against the doorframe, beer bottle in hand. She’s got her vest on over a Gwen Stefani tee. The right knee of her jeans is torn and there are Converse sneakers on her feet.

For a moment, Jess feels twenty years younger. The moment passes.

“Since when are you psychic?” she asks, clutching the box and bottle to her chest protectively, trying to use her hand to obscure the picture on the front.

“I know who I married.”

“You’re dressed exactly like you were when we first met.”

“I wore more flannel back then.”

“I guess so.”

“What was the plan? Were you going to hide those in your bra?” Stef’s trying not to laugh.

Jess looks down. Indeed, she didn’t think about that. They’re too big for her purse, which is now behind the bar.

“I’m not a good criminal,” she admits.

“Neither am I. Or I wouldn’t have to be on my wife’s health insurance plan.”

“I wouldn’t love you if you were a good criminal.”

“That does make me feel better.” Stef crosses the room and takes the box and bottle out of Jess’s hands. She puts them back on the shelf.

“Am I not allowed to do butt stuff?” Jess asks, raising an eyebrow and folding her arms.

“You’re not allowed to shoplift. I wouldn’t want someone to see. Can’t have them thinking my wife isn’t satisfied.” Stef puts her arms around Jess’s neck. “You can do that stuff. And surprise Riley. I’ll help you. You’ll need it. Trust me, you won’t want to surprise her without some practice first.”

“Out of the goodness of your heart. No ulterior motive.”

“Well, I do feel like if anyone’s going to fuck your ass, it should be me,” Stef murmurs, kissing Jess’s neck.

“Maybe that’s not what I had in mind.”

“Huh?”

Jess smirks and reaches out to where several strap-ons hang from hooks. She flicks one, making the chains and buckles jingle. Stef narrows her eyes.

“Very funny.”

“Oh, you don’t have the balls?”

Stef grumbles.

“I know who I married,” Jess says. “By the way, remember that Mary’s coming over later.”

“Oh, right.” Stef sighs, still holding Jess close. “Does she have a life at all these days?”

“I don’t really know. But it hasn’t been that long since everything happened. Give her some time.”

“She was jogging the other morning.”

“Oh, that’s a treat for you. Jiggle jiggle jiggle.”

“Not just for me. Ellen was getting into her car. You never saw somebody stare like that.”

“Shut up,” Jess laughs as Stef goes back to kissing her neck.

“Want to have sex on the stage out there?”

“Um, no?”

“Then we’ll have to do it in here.”