ALICE Ch 59

Colby spends a whole hour with the goddesses. She asks them to demonstrate a few things, which they do without question or complaint. Finally, she comes to Alice, who lies on a nearby sofa looking at her phone. Colby parks her rear on the arm of the sofa and leans over conspiratorially.

“I think we should hire them,” she says.

“Don’t tell me, tell Glynda.”

“Don’t you care?”

“I care, but I just drive. I trust you do the smart stuff,” Alice replies nonchalantly.

“OK, well, we’d be crazy not to take them. They’re like the Terminator and Lance Henriksen had sexy Amazon babies.”

“The what and the who?” Alice asks, confused. “Amazon like two-day shipping?”

“Do you not watch movies? And no, I mean Amazon like Wonder Woman.”

“Wonder Woman works at Amazon? Oh.”

She blinks a few times and Colby looks up as well. Without them realizing it, the goddesses have approached. They loom directly in front of the sofa. Actually, Alice likes Amazons better than goddesses. She can’t pronounce their names, which realizes makes her a bad person. But she’s severely jetlagged. She can be a better person some other time and learn these names and how to say them. For tonight—it is nighttime—they’ll just have to settle for her thinking of them as Amazons.

“Hi, guys,” Colby says. “Um, I don’t have any more stuff to ask you. I guess we’re just waiting for Glynda to come pick us up. I think you’re great. I want her to hire you.”

“We are finished, then?” one of them asks.

“Uh, yeah. With like work stuff, I guess,” Colby replies nervously. “I’m not going to ask you to do anything else.”

“Would you like a drink?” another offers, which is super gracious of her.

Alice perks up. “Yes. Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes.”

It’s like she’s just hit the play button on a paused video. The Amazons are suddenly animated. Within minutes beer and vodka are flowing like water. They have snacks, too: chips that taste like pickles, crackers with something weird to spread on them, and other stuff. It is wild, and Alice is here for it. She watches the Amazons and does what they do: preparing a snack, downing a shot of vodka, and then eating it.

It's… pretty close quarters. The Amazons have two sofas, which is right for the six of them, but tight with eight. Alice is squeezed up against Colby, who clutches a beer in both hands. She’s taken two swigs and is as red as a lobster.

Alice gleefully accepts another shot. Glynda’s going to be pissed that she’s drinking this much, but that’s what she gets for leaving them unsupervised.