ALICE Ch 24

Jeddah is beautiful.

Or at least it looks that way from the hotel. According to Glynda, that water out there isn’t the ocean. Alice is pretty sure that she’s heard of the Black Sea, but the red one is totally new to her. Naturally, she played that to the hilt and complained loudly in front of everyone that it was a rip-off because it isn’t really red. It’s blue.

“Asking for your money back in the lobby of a Saudi hotel isn’t as funny as I thought it would be,” she admits.

Alice’s sweat drips onto her yoga mat. She’s just done forty minutes of HIIT. The fact that Kylie isn’t in the room doesn’t stop her from barking at Alice that she isn’t trying hard enough. They’re Facetiming with an iPad propped against the wall.

“If only some levelheaded person nearby had warned you,” Kylie replies, a little breathlessly. Just as she would if she were here, she did everything right along with Alice.

“Did you know that the Red Sea is blue? How fucked up is that?”

“Dodgy,” Kylie agrees, nodding sagely.

“And because you friendzoned me,” Alice begins.

“Friendzoned?” Kylie repeats, indignant. “I’m engaged, Alice.”

“And that’s going to get in the way of our love?”

“Love?” Kylie snorts and claps her hand over her mouth.

“All right, my love.”

“Go on.”

“For spending time with you. Riding bikes.”

Kylie looks intrigued. She puts her head on one side. “Do you really like that? We can do more cycling if you like.”

“Well, I mean…” Alice blots at her face with her towel. “Cycling’s fine, I guess. I mean that I love how you look in bike shorts.”

“OK, you obviously are not tired enough. Let’s do another set,” Kylie says.

“No! That’s overtraining!”

“Calm down, then.” Kylie pulls at her sports bra at the neck, trying to get some air on her skin. “What were you going to say?”

“Oh, right. Because you did that, I had to hook up with the Woodcock sisters. Both of them at once. Twins.”

“Oh, did you?”

“Well, I was naked in a hot tub with them.”

“You were not.”

“Was too,” Alice says, pointing at the iPad. “But then they threw me out in the hall naked.”

“Bummer.”

“I was heartbroken.”

Kylie makes a face. “They’re gross.”

“What? They’re super pretty,” Alice protests. “Is it not believable? Me having a three-way with twins?”

Kylie laughs. “Dunno, mate. Don’t ask me.”

“Can I ask you something else?”

“Fine. Do your breaths properly.”

“I am!”

“Use your diaphragm.”

“That’s not a real thing,” Alice says.

Kylie puts her face in her hand and mumbles something that Alice doesn’t catch.

“I know, right? Tragic. Anyway, let me see your boobs.”

Kylie looks up. “I’m sorry?”

“Boobs. Boobies,” Alice says. “Look. Here’s mine.” She wiggles out of her sweat-soaked top and tosses it aside. “Actually, why aren’t we doing this naked? We should always do it naked. That would motivate me.”

Kylie’s face stares at her from the screen of the iPad.

“Why are you like this?” the trainer asks tiredly.