A troubled Cathy

November 21st

Just as Francy had done last week, it was now time for Cathy to ordain her own disciples. The two girls Cathy brought bowed their heads when shaking my hand. Before Cathy began, she told me a little about the two girls. "The sister on the left is a theology student, the sister on the right is a philosophy student. I figured they'd be great for the role. They're both decent public speakers and bi." I sat in the back of the room to see what Cathy was going to do today.

Cathy: "Hello, sisters. You're here today because you want to become priests our Supreme Master's cult, correct? Priesthood, as it stands right now, has three main duties. First, you need to prepare, hold, and supervise our service. You will also need to think about our faith in our Supreme Master. You need to be able to answer other sisters why we believe and trust in Him. Lastly, you are overseeing the initiation rites and paperwork associated with new sisters joining. Did you understand everything yet?"

The two girls nodded.

Cathy continued "For the first part, I have given you some notes on what my last services were. Did you have any ideas on your own on what you might talk about during your own service?"

The girls continued to exchange stories that I didn't bother listenting to too much. I felt lucky that I had people take care of the boring aspects for me. As I got bored, I decided to check my phone. Since nobody buys physical newspapers anymore, we instead have a school newsletter. It reported on the quota decision by the student council, of course, but it also had a headline that made me shriek in panic. 'Campus break-up season in full swing, over a dozen guys made single this month alone' The secondary headline read 'Even several professors divorced their husbands this month' The student who wrote this article was quite infamous. He would have gotten a seat on the student council if my girls didn't mobilize the votes for the FP. He's reported nutjob stories like UFO sightings before, not a lot of people take him or that newsletter seriously as a result. The fact that he's salty about losing the seat is also quite well known. But even a broken clock is right twice a day, and in this case I sadly know he's right. His bad reputation might buy me time, but I never bothered removing the rule stating my girls are forbidden from being in relationships with any other guys. An even greater question is whether removing that rule would change anything, all these girls will undoubtedly care more about me than their boyfriends or husbands anyway. What an annoying topic for the meeting tomorrow...

As I slowly began focusing back on the events before me, my eyes started to feast on Cathy's look. She had taken my order to the fullest. Her black hair and lipstick stayed, needing no fixes. But from the black eye makeup to her many chains, the black shirt with plenty cleavage, the black miniskirt or the black tights and boots, she looked like a real goth, no, like the big tiddy goth gf that I wanted.

After some more scrolling on my phone, Cathy approached the final part of the lesson, where she wanted my help. "Sisters. This cult exists for our Supreme Master, and every sister exists for Him. It's our job to report anyone interesting to Him. Keep in mind however, that we already are how He pleases. He wanted a slutty goth, and so I dressed like one. That is not what you're supposed to be looking for. His Magnanimity may shape our reality, but sadly He can't shape reality itself. So report any interesting looking girl to him. Any girl that has gotten me beat in my sizes..." Cathy sensually let her hands glide over her tits and ass "would be a good find for our Supreme Master, for example. Don't forget that we are a decently complex organization as well. Any loaded girl needs to be referred to Lily, any software engineering girl you might find should probably get in touch with Dorothy. Do you have anything to add, Supreme Master?"

"You know..." I began "since you mentioned sizes and not being able to change reality... Once we expand beyond the college, we should probably look out for a plastic surgeon and some staff. Maybe a gynecologist and similar professionals so we can stay within our cult. But I don't think there's a lot to look out for at a college, beyond taking notes about their potential future careers. Maybe... maybe if someone had a side job in a sex store or something? Or someone very kinky with decent experience could be fun. I don't know, I guess you'll see interesting girls when you find one."

The girls nodded. Cathy asked "I know it's a personal question, Your Benevolence, but could You elaborate on your fetishes for us? We understand that You like to be dominant, but what exactly do You like or dislike? How far are You willing to go with Your tastes? There are over 25,000 students at this college, we're bound to find them in all different shapes and sizes. Do you have a type? What is too old for You? Do You like us to be eager or would You prefer to make us submit by force? Do You want an interesting sister to talk to and fuck, or do you just want us to go after more living fleshlights?" The two girls enthusiastically chimed in "If He wants a fleshlight, there is a girl who lost her legs in my class." "We could pick up a frail girl or two for our Supreme Master to break."

"Whoa!" I blurt out in panic "where are you getting these ideas from?"

Cathy tried to calm everyone, including myself, down "Master, we don't judge. We are Your property and our purpose is to be used by You for Your own gain. If You wanted me to disappear, I'd write a fake note and do what needs to be done in genuine bliss because I'd be fulfilling Your wishes. But as Your property, no, Your tools, You need to tell us what You want."

Holy hell. What have I gotten myself into? Even Cathy's disciples looked disturbed. This wasn't devotion to my cause, it was something different. I didn't even write most of these damn rules, they did. Well, they did it drunk and it was probably mainly Becca, but still... I didn't even know what to answer, but I first hugged Cathy "Don't you ever say that again, Cathy. I don't wanna lose you. If I ever do something that evil in the future, make sure I am put behind bars and get a good therapist to help with whatever the fuck would be wrong with me." I could feel my tears swell up, but I suppressed them for the moment and took a deep breath, still hugging Cathy. "In any case... Keep looking for useful people for the cult's administration, both cash cows and manpower. Ask for friends and relatives of any gender outside of college, we might need a favor at some point. For my own tastes, bring me people with authentic submissive fantasies. I can treat any member how I like, but it feels special with someone who authentically fantasizes about how I am going to treat her. Oh right, you asked about age ranges too... Let's say women up to their fifties are fine. MILFs yes, but no grandmas. Oh, and they have to be of legal age, of course."

The three nodded and Cathy drew the event to a close. I pulled Cathy aside after her disciples left "Cathy, we need to have a bigger talk about this just now."

She dropped to her knees and bowed to apologize "I'm so sorry, Supreme Master, for insinuating you could like something like that. What do I need to do to change? Please tell me, I didn't want to offend You."

"Cathy..." I sighed "that's not the issue here. As your friend and lover, I can tell that something is seriously wrong. And as your Supreme Master, I can tell you wouldn't disobey the forgiveness I gave you twice already. That makes me believe that you've been eaten up by guilt and because of that feeling, you can't help but yearn for the most severe of punishments. You're going to let your disciples handle the religious service tomorrow. We're going to have a long talk right now and if that doesn't help, we're looking for a therapist tomorrow. Understood?"

"Yes, master" she said before wiping her first tears away.

Me: "Come on now, spill your heart out. What makes you feel this guilty?"

Cathy: "So, so many things... You know how, when we grew up, my family would often jokingly ask when we would finally get married? As if it was just an inevitability? This question was one they kept asking relentlessly, even when You weren't around. At some point, they repeated that joke so often, I stopped finding it funny. When they didn't stop despite my pleas, I snapped at some point. I couldn't see it as a harmless joke I simply grew tired of anymore, it started feeling disrespectful. As if we could somehow not make that decision ourselves, as if we could never fall out or grow tired of each other as we grew older and chose different careers.

I started resenting the idea of us being together out of spite and honestly... At some point after You confessed, I just got paranoid. Were You just helping me or being friendly because You were my friend or because You hoped it would change my mind about You? When our families started to spend Christmas together, was that just a ploy to make us spend more time together? I know that those thoughts were stupid and I feel so ashamed for assuming everyone, especially You, could be that malicious. But am I crazy for losing trust in people who couldn't stop making a joke I told them I disliked and that hurt me?

And then... I had the idea with the gap year. I initially thought I was going to live a happy life far away from You and my family, maybe even find a boyfriend and finally put everything to rest. Instead, the first two months were absolute hell. I needed to keep calling sisters Becca and Francy for help with my day-to-day life. And every time they asked me who usually handles or helps me with these things, I had to answer that it was You. Eventually, I broke. I realized I fucked up. I never realized how good I had it with You and I had become a spoiled brat without even realizing it. But the gap year was already paid, I couldn't exactly turn back. And Brazil was still a fun place, despite everything going wrong with my life. But even after breaking, I had too much pride to just ask You to help me. I told myself that this was just part of growing up and that I needed to learn these things. In the worst case, You had already moved on from me or even found someone else and I'd have to face living alone after graduation. I feel so bad for having never recognized anything You've done for me, even before You had any feelings for me. How could I not feel so guilty about how much I wronged a guy who did so much for me and that I love?

I worked hard and I'm definitely a more functional human being now, but... deep down I always knew that I just had to go through that ordeal because I never appreciated our friendship and Your help fully. And when I came back... even once I realized that You weren't in a relationship with anyone, I noticed Your hope that we could become a couple had vanished. You might not remember because You drank a lot that night, but You never once asked whether I tried dating anyone in Brazil, You never even tried to hug me, which You had done every time we got blackout drunk before. That was when I realized that in my absence, Your love for me had died fully. And worst of all, I had no one to blame other than myself. You say that I'm being eaten up by my guilt and maybe that's true, but I think the moment You stopped loving me made You empty as well. I'm glad You're no longer filling that void with mindless sexual conquest after our last talk like this."

"You say that, but I don't think I've made much progress in my relationship with Becca or Francy. But I do think that you've managed to rekindle my love for you a little" I explained.

"There's... one more thing. When I came back to Your place, I... did want to confess. It sounds so arrogant in retrospect, to think that I could just come back after a year of low contact and hope You'd still be down for me being Your partner. Like many girls, I just wanted a partner that made me feel special and it took me way too long to realize, but You've always treated me as such. I can't help but wonder, and a jealous part of me imagines, what we would be like if I had been faster to just accept Your love. I feel guilty for being jealous of my sisters, for being incompetent and never realizing how much I relied on You in the first place, I feel guilty for hurting You so much and thinking so little of it for so long. The last part really gets me the most. It's normal to fuck up every now and then and hurt your friend's feelings. We're human, we make mistakes. But I even refused to accept that I could have hurt You. I've been an asshole to my closest friend and needed an external wake-up call. Can I even trust myself to not mess up this relationship as well? Can I trust myself to take Your feelings seriously this time?"

Me: "Cathy, we're going to get through this together. You're clearly trying your best and that's what friends are for. More than anything, I'm just glad to have you back. Please don't say things like today ever again, I don't wanna lose you. I love you, Cathy."

"I love you too, Master."

Spoken without hesitation, she accepted my kiss. As our tongues danced, she tasted sweet. No idea whether it was her or the lipstick, but in the heat of the moment I couldn't care less. We were overflowing with passion and kept making out for minutes, until I slowly pulled us apart. "It's late, we gotta get home. We'll talk more tomorrow."