A trio of player-killers.

War! The second-greatest game of all, just barely behind "The Forest Floor is Lava." Your pet healer, Ariel, doesn't seem to be too happy about your declaration, but she'll warm up to it once she sees how fun war is.

You survey your weapons: sharp claws for scratching, pointy fangs for biting, wet nose for booping, two poufy tails for intimidation, and a magical shaky-stick for beating your enemies into submission. Perfect.

You point one of your tails towards the source of the gigantic kaboom.

"Are we moving... closer to the big explosion?" Ariel wrings her hands. Her soft little mitts are the best for giving you back scratches, but not so good for waging full-scale war. You'll have to do the heavy lifting as usual.

You raise a sign. [Sneaky!]

"I don't have any points in Stealth," Ariel says nervously. "And I'm wearing white robes... I can't hide in the forest."

You see an opportunity. [Naked?]

"N-no! I will not get naked!" You can't see under her hood, but you get the sense that Ariel's blushing. Darn. Well, points for trying. You'll get to see under those robes sooner or later.

Ariel might not be able to be stealthy, but you certainly can be. You let her trail a good distance behind while you scout ahead. She's **** to follow you, since she's both low-level and tired. If she leaves you behind, she's dooming herself to being monster chow.

You move through the undergrowth until you hear a trio of voices. Loud voices. The kind of voices that don't care if they're heard, 'cause they're so powerful. That, and because they're stupid.

It sounds like there are four people in the group: Two girls, one guy. The first girl is loud and very, very annoyed. The second girl is the target of the first, but instead of being upset, she's got this silly air of superiority about her.

"I told you, stop blowing up the good gear!" yowls the first.

"And I told you to knock out their sorcerer first," drawls the second. "Since you failed so spectacularly, I simply took matters into my own hands."

"That doesn't mean you have to blow up the loot!"

"Girls, please," the guy's voice pleads, "We got some good XP off those lowbies anyway. Can't we just be friends?"

The first girl hisses. "You're just on Nella's side 'cause you wanna bang her!"

"He doesn't have to be attracted to me to know I'm always right," sniffs the second girl. "Cleo, that was very rude of you to assume Stein is attempting to court me. He knows he doesn't have a chance with a High Elf like me."

"Uh... yeah," the guy's voice says. "Of... course."

The trio steps out where you can see them. Just as you suspected, it's a trio of ne'er do-wells. One girl is a short, golden elf with radiant auburn hair and more jewelry than you've ever seen in your life. She's a wizard, so she must use those to focus her magic spells. If you can get your paws on her jewelry, you'll be rich and take away her power!

The guy is just a boring fighter. He's not worth looking at.

The annoyed girl, the first one you heard, rounds the bend and your little foxy heart stops cold.

She's a catgirl.

A real live catgirl is right in front of you.

You don't know what she calls herself, but she's obviously a human with just a few cat features. She's got little fluffy ears that're different colors (one brown like her skin, one black like her hair) and a cute fuzzy brown and black-spotted tabby tail with a pink ribbon tied at the end. She walks so lightly it's like she's not there at all, just like a cat!

She's so adorable, so chaseable, and she probably knows so many ways to mess with people, and... and... you need to play with her! Right now!

You want to leap out of the underbrush and tackle her, but one thing stops you: the fact that she's carrying a rapier and nothing else. She's a duelist. One-on-one fights are her specialty. You wouldn't be able to tickle her without getting stabbed, and that really ruins the fun.

You're so distracted by the cat-eared girl that you barely even notice that their status bars are blinking red, meaning that they're player-killers and can be attacked on sight. Well, you were planning on doing that anyway. You check their levels:

Stein, Lv. 8: Boring guy
Nella, Lv. 13: Evil home-destroying Elf Wizard
Cleo, Lv. 10: Tabby-Cat Duelist who you are about to be the bestest friends with

A straight-up fight is out of the question, but that's okay. You just need to use your brain and outfox them.