A tight squeeze

“I’d like to tie you up a bit.”

I look at her and let the silence speak for me.

“… just a bit! I’ll untie you afterwards. I just need a model to weave around. I bind you up tight, contouring around your whole body, and then I gently cut you loose in a way that keeps the basic shape. It should hopefully make sort of a silken mold that I can make a life size model out of. Then I will have a model for all my new clothes, maybe even more models.”

I stare at her skeptically. “You really think that would work? A silk mold of my body? What would you fill it with after it was made to make the models?”

“If I lay the silk out thick enough and layer it while it’s still wet so it binds together, it should hold its shape well enough to work. As for what to put in the mold, I think some tree sap mixed with sand, or maybe if I can get enough clay I could use that.”

I sigh. I had hoped just once I could talk to someone and not be tasked with something. But I suppose I have brought this sort of thing on myself. Ever since I arrived I haven’t been able to help myself but immediately try and solve any problem that anyone else might have. And it’s not like I can bring myself to explain that I am just using their problems as an excuse to avoid thinking about my own. So of course by now everyone sees me and immediately thinks of what they could have me do.

“Sure, just be careful of my wings and hair. And once I’m free of the mold, I’ll see if anyone has spotted any dirt patches that might be a good source of clay nearby. Do you have anything to wrap me with first so the web won’t stick to me?”

“Thank you! And don’t worry, I won’t use any glue on you so it shouldn’t be sticky.”

I manage to keep from looking at her like she is an idiot. Stay calm, keep annoyance out of my voice… “That’s great to hear, but I was actually more worried about the silk itself. It may dry quickly and stop being sticky without the applied bio glue you also can produce, but won’t it be at least a little sticky when it’s still freshly made? Which is why you want to do this quickly, so that all the different layers of silk will still be a little wet and bond together? So wouldn’t they also stick to my skin, fur, and wings? Even if not with the same strength as your bio glue, I don’t think it would feel great to have a full body cast stuck to me. Especially in my fur or on my wings.” Nailed it, I managed not to say any of that with an are-you-fucking-stupid tone in my voice.

Silk smiles and says, “oh, yeah. You’re right. I guess I should lay out enough silk strands to bind you up with already-dry silk, and then add the fresh stuff on top of it. Oh, that means I need to lay out a bunch and let it dry… or use some of it I already have laying out. I could reuse the silk from… well, I tried to make a bunch of harps, guitars, and other stringed instruments. Couldn’t quite get them to work right. I never was a musician, I just thought it was a neat idea.”

Smile kindly, smile kindly, don’t call her a dumbass for trying to make an instrument she doesn’t even know how to play, “That sounds wonderful. I bet Gary could help with that. He was trying to make some drums out of insect parts a while ago. He seemed knowledgeable about instruments.” Fucking Gary made me learn how to butcher a ladybug while preserving its outer shell, and then it turns out he liked the sound of the wings layered atop each other even better than the shell. Okay, he didn’t MAKE me do anything, but what else was I supposed to do when he complained about not knowing how to craft insect parts into drums. I had nothing else to do, so I ended up with my arms covered in bug guts… ew.

“Oh, perfect. Can you tell him I’d like to talk to him about instrument making? Just the next time you see him is fine.”

Fucking pass on your own messages, you lazy bitch! “Of course, I’m sure I’ll see him much sooner than you. You should get out more, you’re always up here in your house. The rest of the town would love to see you more often.” I have no idea how the rest of the town feels about Silk Touch, other than liking her for her contributions of ant pheromone knowledge that helps keep us all safe. Other than that, she’s the weird lady who lives near the top of the tree with the rest of the spider fey.

“Yes, well, not all of us can fly back up here. It’s a bit of a walk once I drop down. Though, it is pretty cool to climb up a tree as easily as walking… ooh, maybe we could build some kind of pulley elevator! Like, with some pebbles to cancel out the weight. Then no one would have to climb the tree!” Silk Touch sounds enamored with her idea.

I sigh, failing just a bit to keep the building annoyance from my voice. “Most of us can fly, the rest can climb and it’s really not that hard for any of us, and building an elevator with pebbles to lift via gravity will **** someone to climb the tree over and over again while carrying rocks back to the top. And doing it without rocks means someone needs to be at the top and pull the elevator up. Sure, at our size and relative strength, as long as we keep the elevator light this might be feasible… but it would always be completely impractical.”

Silk Touch frowns sadly. “Oh, I guess that is true. Maybe if we tamed a bird to carry the pebbles for us? … But that might not be possible. And if we tame a bird that would mean we have a bird to ride up. So we wouldn’t need the elevator anyways. Damn.”

I smile wryly. At least I seem to have succeeded in dissuading her from giving me more work. For all I know there is a way to make a practical elevator. I’m not aware of any way to do it, but I’m not exactly an engineer. But if she keeps this in her head I’ll end up having to talk to every single other fairy around and seeing if any of them might have an idea. Which means more fey will have an opportunity to think of new dumb things for me to do.

“Oh well, give me a minute, I’ll gather up some extra dry silk. Make yourself comfortable, maybe think about how you want to sit while you wait for the cocoon to dry.” Silk Touch begins to walk around her house, collecting dry silk. Taking her advice, I look around… there is no point. Comfort in sitting and laying have almost everything to do with how the weight of your body lies and is supported. And we all basically weigh nothing. Which makes it really hard to get uncomfortable… which paradoxically also makes it near impossible to feel a sense of properly being comfortable. Being able to hold weird positions without becoming uncomfortable is just… weird.

So I just settle for sitting stiffly on a twig chair, and wait for Silk Touch to finish getting ready to bind me up. Because I’m helpful like that.