A test of conviction.

Well, that was certainly dramatic. “Alakazam, go.” Your powerful psychic type emerges, and you take a moment to try and calm yourself. You’ve been way more emotional during your conversations with Leon than you’ve ever been before, too emotional. You need to take a deep breath, and fight this battle with a clear head. You can’t lose here, not after coming so close to finally getting a lead on Admin A.

“Aegislash, to my side!” Blade shouts, sending out his first partner. A golden shield, sitting in front of a golden sword, reveals itself. Purple wing-like appendages shoot off either side of the shield, and a single gold and purple eye sits near the crossguard of the sword. A ghost and steel type Pokémon, native to Kalos.

‘Fits, I guess.’ You think to yourself as you shrug off your heavy gray coat, letting it fall to the ground and revealing your bare torso. A faint breeze blows, chilling you slightly, though it’s not entirely unpleasant.

Your opponents eyes don’t even shift, they stay entirely focused on the two Pokémon squaring off against one another. “If you’re hoping to gain an advantage by distracting me, you will be sorely disappointed with the outcome. I never lose focus in battle.”

“This is just how I like to battle, actually. Don’t care what you think.” You’re not sure why you started doing this, but you’ve been doing it in all your battles for a while. It’s an odd sense of freedom, and sometimes it does distract your foe. That’s not the goal, but it’s a nice side-effect.

Turning your own attention back to the battle, you’re made easily aware of the fact that you’re at a disadvantage. Sending out Alakazam first, into a ghost type, was more than a bit unfortunate. Not that you don’t have countermeasures in place for just this situation, of course. “Use Shadow Ball.”

Your partner sticks the two spoons he’s holding together, and a sphere of black and purple energy gathers between them. As the attack launches, Leon shouts “King’s Shield!” A silvery light envelops his Pokémon, forming a larger triangular shield over its entire body. Alakazam’s move crashes against the shield, and the wispy energy scatters harmlessly. “Now, Shadow Claw!” The Rocket commands. The wing-like appendages reveal themselves to be hands, attached to shadowy black arms coming off of the sword’s grip. One hand pulls the shield aside, leaving the blade unguarded as it glows with its own purple energy and rushes towards your Pokémon.

“Back up and use Barrier.” You tell your partner. The psychic type is significantly faster than his foe, and swiftly jumps back while he uses Barrier. Shimmering blue energy envelops Alakazam for a moment, sharply raising his defense in preparation for the oncoming ****. The Aegislash reaches its target, swinging its sword-like body and connecting with Shadow Claw. The super-effective ghost type attack sends your Pokémon reeling, stumbling back and wobbling on his feet, but he stays up thanks to the Barrier.

“Shadow Ball again.” You say, and the mustachioed Pokémon obeys. He charges up another attack, right in the ghost type’s face, then goes to launch it. But, as he does, he winces in pain from the hit he just took, causing his aim to shift. The ball of darkness goes wide, managing to miss at nearly point-blank range. Shit.

“Strike once more; Shadow Claw!” Leon’s partner lashes out with its own body once again, wreathed in shadowy light. You get the word ‘dodge’ halfway out of your mouth before you realize that it’s too late. The attack connects, slicing down Alakazam’s torso and making him cry out in pain. Your psychic type collapses in a heap, even his raised defense not enough to help him withstand the second blow.

You recall your fallen partner, cursing under your breath. As you’re contemplating which Pokémon to use next, Blade suddenly speaks. “Your heart is clouded, Silver.”

Flinching, you look up from your belt to meet the man’s eyes; and they are staring straight into you, like he’s simultaneously looking through you and at the deepest parts of your soul. You shiver a little at the sight of those pale red eyes, but steady yourself. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Still peering into your soul, the man replies. “You are conflicted. You do not know if what you seek is what you want, or if what you want is what you seek. Your heart is torn, being pulled in multiple directions in a way you fail to understand. Such indecision can be felt by your Pokémon, and it inhibits their ability to fight to their full potential. You cannot hope to defeat me as you are now, Silver.”

You scowl at the handsome man, rattled by his words but not wanting to show it. “Cut it out with the philosophical bullshit. This is a Pokémon battle.” You think that you managed to keep your voice steady, but your heart is anything but. What you want, and what you seek… Being pulled in multiple directions that you don’t fully understand…

Thoughts of Admin A flood your mind; do you really want to find her? What if Leon is right, and she’s just an awful person? Do you want to go through whatever pain meeting her may bring? What if it doesn’t bring pain though, what if it brings you happiness? Love, family, connection; things you’ve never had… Your heart is then pulled in another direction at this thought. North. Cerulean City. That’s where you were planning on going next, because… Red should be there soon, that’s where Mt. Moon leads to. But if information on Admin A takes you in another direction… A severe, tight pain grips your chest, and you think that the Agent is probably right about how conflicted you are. But… is that really affecting your Pokémon? Can it?

No, that’s ridiculous. Shaking out of your inner turmoil, you refocus yourself and go back to thinking about who to send out next. Ghost and steel type; weak to ground, fire, ghost, and dark. Well, your best options would be Weavile and Gengar, but there’s a problem with that. Those two were who you mainly used during your battle against Sabrina, which you haven’t had a chance to heal from. Weavile is exhausted, and Gengar is completely ****, so they’re no-gos unfortunately. Your current team is a bit lacking in ground and fire coverage, so your best bets are your other Pokémon with dark moves. Such as…

“Crobat.” Your choice made, you release your four winged purple bat from his ball. He swiftly flutters about, shifting position constantly as he takes in his blade-like opponent.

“A good choice, though it took a while to make. Has my ‘philosophical bullshit’ resonated with you, perhaps?” The ashy-blonde smirks, eyes now back to their normal thousand-yard stare rather than staring into the depths of your very being.

“Shut up. Crobat, Bite.” The poison and flying type obliges, all four of his wings shooting him forward towards his foe, jaws wide.

“King’s Shield!” Oh, right. That’s still a thing.

Once again, Aegislash coats itself in silvery energy, forming a protective field around its body. It also returns to its original state, sword tucked behind shield and hands drawn in. Crobat’s fangs clamp down on the silver barrier, dealing no damage. Your bat then winces in pain, retracting his teeth and shuddering.

“Crobat? What’s wrong?” You ask in concern, not sure why he’s reacting this way just from an attack being blocked.

“Ah, you don’t know? When a Pokémon lays a physical blow upon King’s Shield, its attack is then lowered.” A single, soft laugh leaves the red-eyed man’s lips. “What is the phrase? ‘Swing at the king and you best not miss’? Something like that, anyway. Now, use Psycho Cut!”

Uh oh. “Dodge!” You command your Pokémon, who pulls back just as the opponent unsheathes itself once again. The sword thrums with pink light, then swings up towards your bat. The blade fails to hit its mark, and you’re relieved for a brief moment. But a beam of psychic energy slices through the air, traveling off of the sword and connecting with your partner. He shrieks in pain, taking a lot of damage from the psychic attack. This isn’t looking good, you haven’t landed a single hit on Aegislash, and your second Pokémon is now seriously injured. You need to use defensive strategies for a little while. “Confuse Ray.”

Steadying himself in the air, Crobat does his best to shrug off the hit he just took. Heeding your command, his eyes begin to glow yellow and his wings speed up dramatically, forming a purple blur in the air above his foe. The mixture of purple and yellow swirls together, and you watch as the ghost and steel type’s single eye begins swirling as well, now confused.

“Push through, Aegislash! Psycho Cut!” Leon’s deep voice calls out, imploring his Pokémon to strike. Your breath catches in your throat as pink energy coats the sword once more, and you can only pray that it fails to complete the attack.

But your prayers go unanswered. The opposing Pokémon manages to attack through confusion, whipping its blade-like body in your purple bat’s direction. The slicing pink light arcs through the air, catching your Crobat as he attempts to dodge. Just like with Alakazam, the second super-effective hit is too much, and your Pokémon is sent tumbling back down to earth as he faints.

Dread fills your heart as you recall your second fainted partner. Two of your Pokémon down, and you haven’t even landed a hit on Leon’s first. ‘This is really bad… Am I going to lose?’ The stark reality of that possibility makes your blood grow cold. You’re not going to be able to do this. You won’t learn anything about Admin A. You’ll… never be able to move forward, you’ll be stuck like this. But is that a bad thing? Should you really be chasing after the woman who left you with that old bastard? Who’s a member of Team Rocket? You can feel a throbbing pain in your left temple as conflict and indecision continue to rage in your heart. Agent Blade is right; your heart is clouded. Is that really why you’re losing though?

“Silver, let’s end this here. There is no point in continuing.” The blonde man says gently, his expression softening. “Please, forget about finding that woman. For your own sake.”

Through all of the negativity and darkness built up in your chest, a small bead of anger forms, shining like a candle in a storm. “You don’t get to decide what’s best for me. I do. You act like you have it all figured out, but aren’t you just as conflicted as I am?”

The handsome man tilts his head. “Oh?”

The candle within you grows brighter, and emotion re-enters your monotone voice. “You seem to badmouth Team Rocket every chance you get, but you’re still a member of it. Isn’t your own heart just as foggy as mine?” What right does he have to judge you!?

“Ah, I see.” Leon’s red eyes close, and a sad smile crosses his lips. “You are incorrect, Silver, though I understand how you would come to the conclusion you have.” His eyes reopen, and a deep resolve seems to emanate from him. “Let me be clear; I despise Team Rocket and everything they do, everything I do as an Agent. And yet I have no qualms about my actions, for they are a necessary evil in order for me to achieve my goal.”

“Really? And what is your goal?” You stare the man down, determined not to let him keep talking down to you… Even if he is kind of right. You are conflicted.

“…That is none of your concern, Silver.” The man replies in an icy tone. “Now, if you’re still set on battling me, then I suggest you make a decision on your final Pokémon. Who is being sent to the chopping block next?”

So, he doesn’t want to talk about his own life story? Fine, it doesn’t matter anyway. The fear you were feeling just a short while ago has been almost entirely replaced by burning willpower. You can’t give up, even if your chances of victory are nearly zero. You have to show him that you can handle yourself, and that you’ve pushed through at least one part of your conflict; you want to find Admin A, regardless of the cost or the result. Even though it may end in tragedy, even though it may keep you from Red, even though it may very well ruin your life… This is what you’ve decided is best for you, even if it’s wrong. And you’ve reached this decision thanks to Leon. Because if he can have convictions about things that he believes are wrong, then so can you! What you want, what you seek, and what’s right, aren’t always the same thing!

“Feraligatr, I need you!” You shout emphatically, sending your starter out into the fray. The blue bipedal alligator appears as her Pokéball’s red light dissipates, a hissing growl escaping her maw. Now, to play this smart. “Use Screech!” Your partner’s cheeks bulge, and then she lets out a shrieking cry that pierces the air, causing Aegislash to wince as its defense is lowered harshly. This next part will be tricky… “Now, Crunch!” With another growl, Feraligatr charges forward towards her foe, jaws opening and dripping with saliva.

“Predictable. King’s Shield!” Blade commands, and his Pokémon returns to its Shield Forme once more, becoming wreathed in silver light.

Just as planned. “Stop, Feraligatr! Scald!” Your longest standing partner, the Pokémon you have the deepest bond with, responds instantly. Skidding to a halt with her jaws a mere foot from the glowing barrier. She rears back her head, then spews forth a boiling stream of water onto the silver shield. The attack bounces off harmlessly, but your alligator doesn't make physical contact, and therefore doesn’t have her attack lowered. “Now Crunch!” With the King’s Shield faded from her previous attack, Feraligatr has free reign to chomp down on the ghost type.

The super-effective dark type move lands, causing the Aegislash to cry out in pain. Since its defenses are much higher in Shield Forme, it actually survives the blow even after your earlier screech. Still, you’re up close and personal now. And your Pokémon is the faster of the two. Time to start your comeback!

“Crunch it again!” “Use Shadow Sneak!”

Your and Leon’s commands come at the same time , but his Pokémon responds first with its priority move. The blade’s shadow extends, then reaches up from behind your partner and slashes it across the back. The damage isn’t severe, but it’s more than you would have liked. However, this attack places Aegislash back into its Blade Forme, lowering its defenses dramatically. With one more hefty Crunch, Feraligatr fells the steel and ghost type, knocking it ****, finally.

“Return to your sheathe, my blade.” The ashy-blonde says, recalling his fainted Pokémon. He then looks up at you, and one corner of his mouth turns up faintly. “Well done. I’m impressed, Silver.”

A rare grin spreads across your face, and you let out a huff-like chuckle. You hadn’t realized until just now how tense you’ve gotten; you’re sweating slightly, and panting. “How’s that for not being able to take out even one of your Pokémon? And Feraligatr and I aren’t stopping here. Go ahead and send out the next, we’ll deal with it too. And the next. We aren’t losing!” You say, your confidence surging.

Leon stares at you quietly, not making any move to send out his next Pokémon. He stands stock still, eyes locked with yours and face a blank mask. This lasts for a full minute, and just as you’re starting to get weirded out, he finally speaks. “The woman you’re looking for is named Ariana. She’s in charge of Team Rocket’s operations in Celadon City, so searching there is your best bet.”

“…What?” Your arms fall to your sides as you slowly blink in shock. He’s just… telling you now? So suddenly? Without finishing the battle?

The Agent interrupts your stunned thoughts. “As you just pointed out, I said that I doubted you would be able to withstand even one of my Pokémon. And yet you have. So I believe that you have impressed me well enough, Silver.”

“But then why even challenge me to a 3v3!? If you were just going to tell me after I defeated one of your Pokémon?

The handsome man shakes his head, then smiles. “Because this was not my original intent. My intent was to defeat you and withhold all information, because I did not believe you were prepared to face whatever you may find. Because you lacked conviction. However…” He closes his eyes, and chuckles softly. “You don’t lack it anymore, at least not entirely. I watched your indecisiveness fade during our battle. You know what you want now, don’t you Silver?”

You’re beyond shocked at this turn of events, yet at the same time… It makes sense, coming from him, given the way he’s acted thus far. You straighten your shoulders, causing your bare bust to jiggle, and nod at him. “Yes. I want to find Admin- to find Ariana. No matter what may come from doing so. That is what I’ve decided.”

“Then I shall not stand in your way, even if I still believe it to be a poor decision. As you said, it is yours to make. Arceus knows that I’ve made poor decisions in the name of family…” A deep sadness shows in his pale red eyes, and he shakes his head again. “I will not tell you anymore than I have; find the rest out through your own actions, your own will. It is up to you to carve your own fate, Silver.” The blonde turns away from you, and starts to make his way back towards Saffron City, done with the conversation just like that. He did say he was going to be late for something... The man stops after a few steps, then looks over his shoulder at you. “If I may offer one last piece of advice? Train hard, Silver. You are going to march into a nest of vipers if you walk this path, and you had best be prepared. Many trainers nearly as skilled as I are contained within Team Rocket’s ranks, as well as a few who exceed me. Tread carefully.”

Picking up your coat and putting it back on, you give the man another firm nod. “I’ll take that to heart. Thank you, Leon. For everything.” You say sincerely, doing your best to give the man a warm smile.

He turns his face away from you, and continues walking away. “We are enemies, Silver. You should call me Blade.” That is the last thing he says as he exits the small clearing, and you stand there watching him walk away until he’s out of sight.

“You’re not my enemy…” You say quietly, then take a deep breath. Emotions swirl within your chest. Elation, nervousness, anxiety, happiness, stress, joy, fulfillment, relief, accomplishment… and heartache. You know what you have to do now; your next destination is Celadon City. And that means not going to Cerulean, not going to see Red. This hurts you far more than you feel like it should, for reasons you still don’t really understand, but it’s what you need to do. Finding Ariana, finding out more about yourself and where you come from; that is your conviction. You’re certain that Red would understand if he knew, and would encourage you to do what you want to do. You’ll just have to keep up with him through texts and selfies, like you’ve been doing. You’ll see him again, someday, you’re certain. For now though, on to Celadon City! …After you return to Saffron and get your things from your room in the Pokécenter and return your room key.

Wait, which way is it back to Saffron City again? Oh, the way Leon went, duh… Which way did Leon go again?