A talk

Nicki knocked on your door a short while later in a robe holding two glasses and a bottle of expensive looking whiskey.

"Sounded like it might be this kind of a talk," said Nicki as she poured you a rather full glass.

"What ails you?" she asked taking a seat on the bed.

You took a healthy gulp, talking about yourself was never enjoyable for you.

"What has Amy told you?" you asked, "about us?"

"Deflection," said Nicki, "but fine I'll humor you. She told me you saved her that night in the bar, she said you made her feel comfortable and she was happy to be living with you."

"That's it?" you said.

"I left out some of the more lurid details but yes."

You drained your glass.

"I gather from that reaction you were hoping she'd said something more...emotional about you."

"No," you said pouring more into you glass, "yes."

"Self destructive behavior," said Nicki, "can typically accompany grief, especially if you feel in some way responsible."

You started to drink but ended up only taking a small sip, this being analyzed was annoying.

"If Amy was here," said Nicki, "right now, you two and you could only tell her one thing, what would it be?"

You stared at yourself in the mirror.

"You saved my life."

You almost sobbed right there but you choked it back. Nicki got up and walked over pulling you in for a hug.

"Feel better?" she asked.

"No," you said honestly.

"I think two things," said Nicki putting her untouched glass down, "one, you truly care about Amy and that's amazing. But two, based on how you're acting Amy is keeping you at arms length. "

"I don't know why," you said, "I've been so open with her and any time I try to talk to her-"

Nicki put a hand to your mouth, "you're being a man. You aren't the only one grieving, you lost your wife, Amy lost her family and what's worse is there thirty minutes down the road."

You stood in silence, you had only really been thinking about it from your perspective you admitted.

"I need some sleep," said Nicki, "but please, don't beat yourself up, and don't harbor any ill will towards my friend."

You hugged her a little on reflex and she hugged you back though more it seemed to make it less awkward.

"Thank you," you said.

The next morning the two of you were on your way home.

"Going to be nice to get a few days off," said Nicki, "I told them I'd be off the grid so I won't have to answer texts or emails."

"We have wi-fi," you said.

"I know that hon," she said, "but the other partners don't."

As you neared home Nicki suddenly seemed nervous.

"You ok?" you asked.

"Not really," she said, "the last time I saw Amy was at school and the last time I spoke to her."

"She begged me to take her someplace so she wouldn't have to go to her parents," said Nicki, "I don't have an address, I have a PO box and a storage unit. She was so scared, by the time I got on a plane and got to her school she was gone." Nicki wiped a tear from her cheek, "I missed her by a few hours and then i didn't hear from her and..."

Nicki broke down and you pulled over and wrapped your arms around her.

"I've lost too many friends," said Nicki, "so I hope this place you and Amy have is an answer because I can't lose anyone else."

She looked in the mirror, "make up is fucking ruined," she said wiping it off with a cloth from her purse, "no when I see Amy I'll be smiling."

"Take your time," you said.