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Chapter 21
by fyreant
What do you find in the lower levels?
A suspicious scene suggesting more than just the Warriors are involved here...
Griffineagle is able to dig, pry, and tear his way through the junk clogging up the stairwell. You are pretty sure that Rainbow didn't descend more than one level so she should be down here somewhere. You aren't sure that you have ever actually been below the ground floor before except for coming up through the concealed entrance, and then you just went straight to the main area on the ground floor. Judging by some of the caution signs you see it appears to be living space for some of the more unstable members of The League who might be a genuine hazard to have living on their own in the city.
Thanks to the intricate and chaotic ultra-tech construction of the headquarters the effects of the blasts has been chaotic and unpredictable... or so it would seem, at least. "Sooooo," Red Weather Balloon says in her squeaky, grating, helium-infused cartoon character voice, "you are no doubt wondering how I managed the amazing, astounding feat of completely avoiding the effects of that bomb and getting precisely into the position to save my new teammates. I mean, not that I would eeeeeever take time out during the middle of a crisis just to brag-"
"Yes, of course you wouldn't! That is the kind of thing that would best be saved for after a mission when it won't distract anyone or cost precious time. I'm sure we'll all be paying very close attention to your after-action report." You cut her off with a **** smile. For some reason she is getting on your nerves so badly that you were hoping she would be MIA for this situation even though the situation is dire and threats are imminent.
"Um, excuse me Thunderbird," Snowflake has been quiet for a few minutes as she hangs all over 'Griffineagle' (God, how did he ever come up with such a stupid, unwieldy name?) and grinds the side of her hip against him, but now she's piping up again, and your newly yellow-dyed hair whips through the air as you jerk your head around to give her a hard look.
The oddball cryokinetic doesn't seem to notice or care about your annoyed body language. "I'm still learning the ropes - ooh, I'm sorry, that's loaded language, let me use safer terminology... I'm still new to this city and this League, so I'd like to hear what W.B. did. It might be a useful trick for the rest of us to know she's capable of."
"Yes, definitely!" the male hero she's so determined to throw herself at (like a snowball... heheh, you mentally file that one away for later banter) nods. "She seems like a really dangerous and wily opponent. She was standing right next to ThunderBird who just about got pulverized but she doesn't even look bruised... I mean, are you just that tough, W.B.?"
"Ohhhh yes I am very tough~" she giggles and stops in mid-stride, blocking everyone's path forward, to pop one of her feet up and push her chest out, striking a pose. "But it's more because of the air currents and the odd construction of this place. I'm suuure our fearless leader noticed that the damage to this place isn't evenly distributed and some rooms and halls are intact while others are collapsed or torn wide open. But I'll go ahead and explain~ The walls are mixed construction and have special passages, shafts and perforations built into them to channel explosive blasts, spills, energy releases, fires and so on! Not only does it make the whole place harder to bring down but spreading out the damage gives everybody who's here a chance to help confront the danger and get in on the hero merits for helping contain a disaster! You see, my DAD, who was one of the most dangerous supervillains ever you know, once set a tornado through the bay and picked up several hundred tons of water and live crabs and sent it tearing through here, it caused soooo~ much damage! I'm sure you heard about the great crabnad-"
"Get to the point, Weather." you say, pointing up ahead. "There's a door here. You've got until I manage to hot-wire it back to operation and get it open to finish your explanation, there may be bad guys in the next room and I'm gonna need quiet. Also 'hero merits' are a rumor, that's not how the system really works." Of course, you could easily MAKE quiet - superpower and all - but she doesn't need to be reminded of that.
"Well I can sense airflow so it was the easiest thing in the world for me to just float up on the wave of the blast, and since the air got their faster than me and I'm immune to pressure changes, the blast opened a door for me but didn't leave a mark on my perfect body! Oooh, did I mention that you look like a mess, ThunderBird? I bet you'll need some long term bedrest when all this is over, I've pulled civilians out of 10 car pileups who looked less squashed than you right now!"
"THANK you for your concern, Balloon." you say. "But I'm fine. Or at least, I came out of it better than these guys."
The female, male, and 'neither' all step forward to see what you're pointing at. In the partially-collapsed room in front of you, you see a dozen or more guys in bulky, chesspiece-themed armor laying and groaning in various states of triage, many wrapped in bandages or with IV stands with blood bags hooked to them. This is certainly Rainbow's work; those look like the kind of things she conjures. It is a good thing for your appetite that she got here before you as a lot of these evil henchmen are missing entire limbs! Griffineagle takes a half-step forward, gasping in shock and concern, but you catch him. "Hold on. Doc wouldn't leave those guys if they weren't stable, it's fine for now. I'm concerned that doesn't look like the kind of damage a simple bomb blast would inflict. See how some of their armor chestpieces have big, straight slashes through them? I think we might've ended up in one of those situations where different villains get in eachother's way and go to town on one another. It's too dangerous - stay close."
"Oooooh, somebody was being very naughty in here!" Weather Balloon squeals playfully, floating along above the ground and dancing over some strange foreign words written on the ground. "This looks like some kind of magical cult stuff! Doctor Rainbow can take care of herself, clearly, this is the hallmark of the biggest, most notorious, most eye-catching kind of evil badness! Look, there's more of those evil looking letters trailing down the hallway here!"
"Aaaaaaalright," you say irately, putting your hands on your yellow-spandex-covered hips and poking Weather Balloon in the chest (er, the stomach, more like - her boobs are pretty much impassable when it comes to touching her chest from the front). "That's it. You can make all the digs at me that you want if it makes you feel better, but suggesting we go off on some wild eldritch goose chase and abandon Dr. Rainbow while she's trying to save lives? Bitch, I don't know what your last team was like but you're not the designated eye candy with a bunch of meatheads wrapped around your finger anymore. There's only one guy even temporarily on our team here and somebody already beat you to the punch. So speaking of punching - if you 'politely suggest' something like that again, I'm going to politely sock you in your big, fake lips."
Red Weather Balloon makes ****, gasping, indignant sounds, her eyes bugging out (even her irises are red-tinged, you can see now). "You... you..." she turns around and stamps her foot at Snowflake. "What are YOU waiting for, are you going to let that arrogant, entitled nepotistic brat taaaalk to me like thaaaaaaat?!" the sound of her whining is so shrill it can just about crack glass.
"...huh?" Snowflake whips her head over. You see that she has had Griffineagle lie down and has temporarily dissolved his 'snow cast' to examine his twisted leg more closely... and apparently she's found it necessary to sit on top of him with her tight white bodysuit-clad ass on his chest mere inches from his face while she does so. "Are you arguing now? Can't we just..." she purses her lips and cocks her head to the side for a moment, running a hand through her boyish, chalky-white hair. "I have an idea actually. You two didn't spend as much time with Mort, uh I mean Mort-e, I mean... you know, the scientist, yesterday." she seems quite distracted still as she notices that the male hero has been trying awkwardly to push her off of him whilst everyone is looking at him, yet she refuses to budge as if daring him to use his superstrength.
"So the thing is that these outfits are all heavily modified - to enhance our powers as you already know, but also to keep us in contact. They have their own independent radio net that can supposedly stay in contact even through shielding, giving full audio-visual coverage of other team members' location and activities, displayed on those little screens on the watch or on the visors we were given. It even records for after-action analysis and there was something about 'haptic feedback' but anyway - the point is we can split up without being totally unaware of dangers to eachother. Red Weather Balloon can move fast drifting in the wind and ThunderBird can use her power to sneak, right? Since me and this toxic, conceited neanderthal are injured and, uh, exhausted and need a few minutes to recover, why don't you, Thunderbird, try and sneak forward to see if you can rescue Doc, and WB can go check out those ritual signs in case it's something that has to be stopped immediately?"
You fold your arms. Well, as annoying as Snowflake is, judging her for pursuing a makeout session, even at a very inappropriate time, feels like it would be hypocritical, and besides, the likes of Beast Beauty have sent the League's standards of, well, Propriety so low anyway... "Great suggestion, Snowflake. Hmph, I guess you're my 'cool as ice, assertive second in command' now? But if either of us gets in serious trouble you had better be willing to come to our assistance regardless of your 'exhaustion'."
You and Red Weather Balloon both toss your heads in opposite directions from one another, refusing to make eye contact as you head in opposite directions. Snowflake is leaning down and whispering something to Griffineagle even before you're out of sight, apparently unaware that you can easily eavesdrop. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? I'm just trying to give some more first aid treatment to your leg until our designated medic is retrieved. How do you explain this tent you're pitching under your tights, here? Are you assuming that I'm just here for your gratification, simply because of how I happen to be dressed? You had better not be thinking dirty thoughts about me on purpose. I'm B-ranked you know, higher than you... what are you going to do about it?" Her thong-clad backside with the thin panthose-like layer over her tanned, highly visible cheeks is slipping closer and closer to his chin. "Do I have to fill your underwear with snow to make you able to concentrate on the mission? Or maybe I'll have to resort to even more drastic measures, just because you're too much of a-"
And she keeps going on like that. Well, honestly, discovering that her abrasive, moralizing nature is at least partially a result of her being some kind of a kinky nymphomaniac (oops - better not call her that out loud... is there a gender-nonspecific word for that, you wonder?) is kind of a relief. She'll fit right in in the League and having the likes of her, and even that bitch Weather Balloon, on your team might draw some of the aggression of the bad guys (and bad heroes) away from you and Doc.
Ah... Doc. That's the other reason you were in favor of splitting up. As wonderful a girl (er, young woman... it's easy to forget she's the oldest woman on the team not counting Mort) as she is her track record operating in solo patrols is abysmal. You recall reading some of the reports on the patrols she was doing before partnering up with you, and it seems like she's just cursed to end up being molested and violated by some bad guy, unscrupulous civilian or overbearing higher-ranked hero every time she sets out. You want to remain optimistic that she'll be doing okay when you catch up with her but even with the villains and henchmen having taken such a beating from Photobomber's attack, but if she isn't, at least it won't be the first impression the other team members get of her...
Let's split up, gang! You need to watch RWB's feed but do you spy on Snowflake, too?
Perils of a Novice Superheroine
A generic superheroing setting drenched with sex and scandal
Acropolis City, the center of super-human and caped crusader activity in this particular world - with its own dizzying highs and lows, high-tech skylines and slums standing in stark, four-color contrast, it provided everything that a costumed megalomaniac or masked vigilante could ask for. In fact, as is usually the case where colorful masked characters are the norm, it has become something of an institution by this point. But although the mere existence of costumed heroes and villains no longer shocks people, these people - who, by their very nature, thrive on attention - keep finding new ways to stand out from the crowd and attract the eye. This last goal tends to get a lot of emphasis in the most simple, sexualized way possible. For reasons that the world's most brilliant scientists have yet to explain, latent super-abilities seem to manifest more often in women than men by a ratio of 3 to 1 or more. This is true even when the superpower isn't "natural"; paranormal artifacts fall into their hands, esoteric martial arts schools never seem to have a male heir, the technological prototypes they test always seem to be the ones that are most easily used or abused for good and evil. Unfortunately, the glory days of the past where citizens were happy to see any old masked do-gooder show up are over - in recent years, Acropolis City has established a ranking system of heroes where those who get high marks from the citizens and resolve incidents are rewarded with corporate sponsorships and (most coveted of all) seats at the prestigious League of Propriety. Those who intimidate the populace, cause excessive collateral damage, or simply don't excite anyone, garnering low rankings, get 'asked' to move to less prestigious cities. Few superheroes want to get stuck battling clans of villainous hillbillies and corrupt small-town sheriffs for the rest of their careers, so they're always eager to please the influential citizens of Acropolis City (judges, eminent scientists, first responders, and of course the all-important reporters). On the other side of the law, a similar dynamic predominates; only the most glamorous and charismatic costumed ne'er-do-wells can make it in this town. And so, the novice superheroines just learning the ways of battling for justice and order, without any team to back them up, always end up patrolling the skeeviest, most undesirable slums of the city and taking on the most thankless rescues. As if that weren't bad enough, most of them feel obliged to dress in ways that get more outlandish and revealing with every passing year while they fight the good fight and/or feed their craving for attention, depending on how you see the 'cape life'. As if that weren't troublesome enough, the superhuman mutations that make so many of these heroes' careers possible also result in greatly increased sexual sensitivity, particularly in females. The adventures and misadventures that these spandex-clad lady crusaders get into are often too hot to print for the kind of comics that their young admirers would read. Messy mistakes will be made, but you don't want to disappoint your readers, do you? So let the League know what kind of superheroine you are, your chosen name, powers, and appearance, and they'll send you out on your first patrols. Good luck.
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Updated on Jun 15, 2025
by micdan282
Created on Nov 30, 2016
by fyreant
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