A secret admirer

“The bitch loves an exposé,” Hermione said “how about we do some exposing of our own?”

“Like what, prove her stories are wrong?” Ron said. “People do that all the time, it never stops her.”

“Not the kind of exposing I meant, Ron,” she shook her head with a small, salacious smile. “Something a bit more explicit than that.”

“Explicit?”

“Nude pictures,” Harry interrupted. “That’s what you mean, right, Hermione?”

The girl’s smile grew. “Exactly. Imagine how humiliated she’d be if we spread them around.

“But how could we get our hands on something like that?” Harry said.

“Hold on,” Hermione busied herself with a quill and spent the next few minutes writing out a letter. Finally she passed it to the boys with a flourish. “There. Not my best work but it’s just a first draft.”

Harry and Ron leaned close and read the note:

Dearest Rita,

It thrills me to see your name on the Daily Prophet byline once again, to read such exquisite words that cut as swift and as sure as a blade. It makes me yearn to know the mind behind the quill, the beauty that surely matches the wit. I sense a yearning in you as well. A romantic nature that can never be truly stifled, a desire to be desired. I want you to know, Rita, I do deeply desire you. Desperately so.

Yours in burning passion, a secret admirer

“Blimey, Hermione,” Ron said, a slight blush rising in his cheeks.

“Do you think this’ll work?” Harry said.

“I know it will,” Hermione took the letter back. “With a little editing. She’s dreadfully ****, I can tell. This is the perfect bait.”

A few days later, Hermione was proven right. A reply came to her by owl and she rushed to find Harry and Ron and slap a photograph down on the table in front of them.

“Bloody hell!”

The moving photo was of Rita Skeeter looking into the camera with a flirtatious smirk, a couple of buttons undone on her top to show off her cleavage. The Rita in the picture winked and pushed out her chest, her breasts straining against the tight fabric of her blouse.

“Listen to this,” Hermione read aloud from the letter accompanying the picture:

I was flattered to receive your note and since you seem to know me so astutely, you’ll know that flattery does get you somewhere with me. Tell me, does the beauty match the wit as you hoped it would? If so, I would love to know more about this deep desire you mentioned.

Yours, Rita

“I told you.” Hermione grinned. “****.”

“Not that **** though,” Harry said, “we’re going to need more than this if we really want to screw her over.”

“Oh don’t worry, Harry. This was just to get her on the hook, we’re just getting started.”