A polo with some swimming trunks.

“A cruise ship with this many pools. We’d have to get wet sooner or later,” Alexander says.

“I came prepared,” I simply say, undoing the tie at the front of my top. The black man’s eyes widen at the gesture but smiles when he sees the bikini hidden underneath. I remove the top entirely, setting it on the back of the chair. I also loosen the skirt I have on, revealing the matching bikini bottom, colored in black, underneath. From a drawer, I take out what appears to be a beach gown, colored in an off-white color, that looks like it’s made of a fine material. “Private jacuzzi?”

“We have one?” Alexander asks.

“I did some exploring before you got here,” I tell him and take him by the hand to lead him downstairs and out onto the balcony. The festivities down below are in full swing. There is a slight breeze as the boat sails into open water. There are passengers milling about, half of them enjoying the pools below. I lead Alexander down the balcony, where an alcove sits, inside a modest jacuzzi large enough to fit four to six people. There is a window separating this alcove and the air right above the deck below, probably put there to prevent anybody using the hot tub from falling over the side.

Alexander removes his polo shirt, revealing his muscular torso and arms, and goes in first, testing the temperature of the water. “It’s already hot,” he says, pressing a button that activates the jets. The water roils so much that the bottom of the hot tub cannot be seen. Standing outside the hot tub, I remove the beach gown I had donned as well as the wedges on my feet as Alexander lowers himself into the water, visibly relaxing in the water. I step in, feeling the heat. I sort of lose my footing and topple towards the black man, but he quickly intervenes, catching me in his arms. Alexander jokes, “Not a bad way to get in my arms, Charlene.”

I’m able to sit right beside him, but under the water, he drapes my legs over his thighs, as I’m positioned in a similar way to how we were seated in the lounge some decks below us. His arms wrap around me, pulling me close and I repeat what I had done, wrapping my arm around his broad shoulders.

“So, Charlene? I know you’re a guy on X-Change. Do you have any experience with the opposite sex? Women I mean,” Alexander starts, sort of continuing the conversation that trailed off in the lounge. I shake my head and in such a way that I convey to him that it’s disappointing. It’s like I’m not proud of that status. My chin drops, my eyes not able to meet his. “So, no girlfriend?”

“I mean, I have-” I start, but quickly change my answer, “I had a girlfriend. But our relationship wasn’t really… real…” I trail off, not sure on how to properly answer his question. “In fact, she’s kinda the reason I’m on this cruise. She's somewhere on the ship, actually.”

“Who broke it off?” he asks.

“Well, she did. She started the relationship, out of convenience, and that’s how she ended it. I really had no say in it,” I explain.

He pinches my chin, gently, and lifts it so he can see my face. “Is she the reason you’re using X-Change?” Alexander asks.

His fingers leave my chin. I say, “Maybe a little bit. But I had tried it out, enjoyed it, and now I’m using it in public.”

“So, I take it you’ve never kissed a girl? Never even made it to first base?” Alexander asks. I shake my head. “A virgin and never tasted romance, outside of movies, of course.” I nod my head, reluctantly with less enthusiasm. “And yet, here you are, in my arms, your face close to mine.” Under the water, his hand rises up my spine, and he pushes on me gently, bringing his face closer. And he gives me a gentle peck on my lips.

You can say that he gave me a taste. And you say my response was not what he expected. Having felt what he intended was a chance at my first kiss, I leaned in for more and with intensity. Our lips lock, almost as if they were meant to be connected to each other. I moan into his mouth, muffled by our kiss, and he does the same. I seem to have gone in too strong, as I feel his other hand grab my head and pull on my hair, gently of course, to remove my lips from his. The sudden separation leaves me in a daze.

“Fuck, Charlene,” Alexander says. “I didn’t know you wanted it that badly.”

“Maybe I do,” I shoot back, heaving a breath. Apparently with lips locked, you sometimes forget to breathe.

“It’s best to go slow. If not, then you end up like my brother,” he argues and the mention of his brother is enough to snap me out of my daze, if not partly. Then a thought manifests in the back of my head. What if Alexander didn’t reel his younger brother back in when we first met? What if I allowed Victor to capture me with his charm and furthermore with his strength. Already, I feel weaker than when I was a guy, how the black man before me didn’t need to pull too hard to remove my lips from his. “Let’s take our time. Plus, I have an idea if you’d humor me.”