A passionless filler episode

“Good morning!” Skylar flung the curtains of the living room open. The morning sun shone through the windows and into the bedroom, where a satanically hungover trio of lovers, hissed, and cursed at the light of god.

“Skylar!” Stan moaned and covered his eyes.

Skylar came skipping in, and looked like she was looking in on a basket of puppies. “Look at this! Now this is what Harem Hotel is all about. One man, two women, just the way The Producers intended. And let me just say, that footage?” Chef kiss.

“Let us sleep in.” Mary hissed. “We’re on vacation.”

“Come on lazy bones, today’s a great day! We got our first threesome, Cleopatra unleashed her vengeance upon Erica, Boudica, and Eve, who would want to sleep in on a day like this? They can't cancel us if we keep things this juicy!”

“Where am I?” Elizabeth shot up in bed, and did that time honored tradition of hiding her modesty with the sheet. “Why am I…” She suddenly feel back to sleep.

Skylar held out her hand. “Alright, maybe it is a little too early in the morning to deal with that.” She looked to the other two. Mary despite all her work from yesterday was naked again, her clothing scattered to the winds. “Mary be a dear and make your master something for breakfast, while we talk.”

“How about you eat my aaaaah!” Mary’s body took her over to the kitchen, and started cracking the eggs.

Skylar looked down at her fingers with a smile. “Now Stan, today is a big day. Ready to get a lesbian absolutely addicted to your penis? I don’t ‘know how any man could contain themselves when that’s on the table.”

“Skylar stop.’ Stan gruffed. He held out his hand. “I don’t want to do that to her, it’s only so she does get eliminated, so if a handjob, or a kiss or something is enough. That’s what we’ll do.”

She gave him a pitying look. “You don’t have to lie to me, you’re my child… in a way. I can see your traits, and I know the idea of turning Erica into your baby girl isn’t as terrible as you’re letting on.”

He sighed. “Fine, do I think grabbing her by the pigtails, and fucking her in that uniform would be hot yes. But as I’ve already told Cleo, just because something is hot doesn’t mean it’s appropriate to act on it. Especially if the other person doesn’t want it. I don’t care what the transformations you’ve given her say.”

“This show is so crazy, I just have the same conversation over and over gain. I was hoping it'd be different with Satan, but here I am. Yes, you’re a great guy, but eventually she’s going to be on her knees begging you to treat her how I want, and you’ll just be the cruelest man possible for denying her.”

He had nothing for that, all he could do was rub his temples in despair.

“Of course if you don’t want to rush things that’s up to you guys. I mean hey, even if the audience hates her performance tonight, that’s great for her. So feel free to take it slow with her.” Skylar gave a sweet smile. “She’s young and impressionable, after all.”

“Hmph.” Stan ran his hand through Elizabeth’s hair. She really did look like a slumbering vampire, but he knew it was a sweet kind woman that slept now, and not that feisty animal from last night. “Well before you go to make someone else miserable.”

“I do have a full schedule, thank you.”

“I was wondering if I could ask for a field trip.”

“To where? We have a shuttle if you want to go into town.”

“I want to meet, one of the other masters.”

—--

After breakfast Mary and Elizabeth were kicked out so Stan could brood. Fucking with them was no problem, but apparently Erica was asking too much. It was frustrating and didn’t scream victory for them when there were just four competitions left, but what could they do? At the moment they weren’t thinking about winning, just survival.

“Hey.” Elizabeth looked to the naked red woman in the elevator with her.

“What’s up?” The bell on the elevator was making Mary wince.

“I scored a lot of points last night… what happened?”

Mary rubbed her eyeballs. “You and I called a truce. I realized while we were busy beating on eachother, these other women were off playing their own game without us. We want to win don’t we?”

“Not really.” Elizabeth sighed, miserably, and tugged on her dress. She felt like a whore. “But I don’t want to lose either.” She stayed silent for some time. “I’m okay with working with you, just don’t tie me up anymore.”

“Yeah.” Mary laughed. “Tell your other half that! She kicked my ass last night.”

Hard to believe Elizabeth could hurt anyone, but even if she didn’t believe it, she knew it was true. She got a little cranky after dark. “I don’t think we’ll ever be friends though…”

Mary snorted and nodded her head. “That's good I hate friends.” She slapped Elizabeth on the ass, just as the Elevator opened up on their floor. “They’re so friendly!”

—--

By the time the morning rolled around for Erica she was all cried out. Joan had spent much of the night holding her as she cried and cried and cried, as the idea of her own spiritual **** loomed large in her mind. Like a planet just above the horizon, dark and terrible, devoid of God’s light.

Now she was back in her uniform, applying her eyeliner, and blasting Paramore as loud as it could get.

“You can quit.” Joan said, watching her from the bed, like an older sister. “I’ll take your place, I’ll ask God to send me, I’ll sneak away, I’ll do something.”

“It’s too late for that.” Erica said quietly, carefully prodding her eyes with her tool. “I’m eighteen for the rest of my life, stuck in these uniforms, and now I’ll do whatever anyone tells me. There is no going back for me.”

“It’s victory or defeat then.”

“Yes.”

“Very well. I will not mourn a warrior charging into battle.” Joan smirked and got to her feet. “I’m going to go have a conversation with our Cleopatra, what sha’ll you be doing?”

“Preparing with my date with Daddy. I gotta think of something sexy.”

“This is good, because I am of no help there.” Joan laughed.

“I’m not any better. When I was this age, I was still in the closet, and most certainly a virgin."

Unbeknownst to them Eve had entered the room, and was thrashing out to the music. “This band rocks!” She screamed over the volume.

“Woah.” Erica messed up a wing on her eyeliner due to her sudden appearance. “Where did you come from?”

“I was having coffee with Stan.”

Joan tilted her head. “How’s he doing after his date with red hot and crazy?” Maybe if she was too intense for him, a nice and gentle night with Erica would be a good change of pace.

“He didn’t say. He was pretty upset that Skylar wouldn’t let him talk to any of the masters from previous seasons.”

Erica wiped her eye clean and started over. “Why would he want to do that?”

“I suggested it.” Eve jumped onto her bed, and started bouncing up and down. Her body had a physics engine all it’s own now. “He’s having a hard time being a nice guy, and a horny horny man. I thought talking to another person who’s been through it would help.”

“That’s a good idea.” Erica nodded.

“But all the other masters gave into sin.” Joan added.

Then Erica looked her way. “Maybe seeing what they became would… sober him up?”

Joan grinned. “If only we had someone would could break out of this world…”

—--

“Are you seeing this?” Helen crossed Cleopatra in the lobby, with a cup of coco in her hand. In the lobby there were three naked men jacking off. With no focus at all the three of them were just starting off into space, maybe it was at the art on the walls? Whatever it was the room was filled with the slapping sound of lonely manmeat, and the general apathy the NPCs showed for anything strange.

Cleopatra hadn’t been able to look away, her face twisted into a leer of disgust. “I wish I wasn’t.”

“Does Skylar really think this is going to keep us horny?” Helen sipped from her cup, and thought back to that person in the kitchen getting fucked by something invisible. If Olympias was right and Skylar was out of juice maybe her crew were having some fun of their own?

“Doesn’t seem her style.” Cleo noted.

“Yick.” Helen had enough and looked away. “So I heard you took a machete to Erica’s group yesterday.”

Cleo flinched defensively. “Don’t tell me you’re against me now too?”

“I’m not against anyone.” Helen shot back just as defensively. “I just want everyone to get out of this safe.”

“You and Stan make a perfect pair.” Cleopatra didn’t say this kindly.

“Why are you being mean?” It was hard to look tough with Coco in your hand, but Helen was trying.

“So you think I’m a freak now too?”

“I think.” There was steel in Helen’s voice. “You’re being mean.”

“They came at me first, and made me use my points to upgrade my corruption trait. I was just getting ****, and now it’s over. I ended it.”

“After you said you’d turn Erica into a bottle sucking slut.”

“You are on their side.” Cleo wish she could have thought of this as a betrayal. But she'd betrayed Helen only last week, when she was a brain dead pet. Now this only made her feel indignant instead of furious.

“Listen to some advice.” Helen sighed. “If you’re even capable of it anymore. As someone who had a war fought over them, just know that nobody won. Not me, not the Greeks, not the Trojans, not Achilles The Swift, just the gods.” She made to leave.

“You might not have won, but someone did go home with you, at the end of it all.” Cleopatra called, then feeling her chance to sleep with, and corrupt Helen slip away she called again. “Are we still on for tonight?”

“You’ve got a hand, use it.” Helen called back.

“Hey loser, what are you moping about?” Erica caught Stan by himself out on the grand balcony. This place was nothing but good views, and Aspin was looking tasty in the afternoon.

He gave her an annoyed smile. “You, I’ll have you know.” He spent the morning wondering if there was a moral way to fuck the gay out of a person. His results were dubious in their viability, and he concluded that all of this would have been a lot easier of Eve had never wished him good at all.

“I am a distressing concept.” She agreed and leaned with him against the railing. “What kind of pity are you heaping on me today?”

He looked away from her. Despite her tone this wasn’t a light conversation, not to him. “Us having sex. You’re a lesbian… seems wrong.”

“It is.” She agreed. “Oh well.” She nudged, it wasn't easy but Erica was leaning into the horror. She wasn't being burned at the stake, only **** to suck a dick. As far as trials went that seemed benign. “I got a date planned if you’re ready.”

What would Olympias say to a date nine hours before their usual time? Would she be impressed by Erica's eagerness? No. She'd probably just lament the lost chance at mandhandling the girl. Stan smirked, it wasn't like he had much else to do in this place. "I suppose I can make time. It'll be easier to pity you, if I can see you."

"And here I thought we made you charming." She pushed him.

He smiled and threw a clump of snow at her. "I'm trying negging out, what do you think."

"Very devilish." Erica then took him to the shuttle, and climbed inside. “Oh Chauffer.” Erica called.

“Oui?” Joan was at the wheel in a pant suit with a chauffeur’s had and gloves.

“Take us to… Brett Peaks’ house.”

“Oui Madam.” The shuttle began to move. Snow strewn paths zipped on by.

“Who’s that?”

Erica looked to him with a gleam in her eye. “That’s Skylar’s first Master.”

“But she said…”

Erica laughed and held up her wrist. “Don’t you see these spiked wristbands? I’m kind of punk rock.”

“Oh I’m sorry.” He leaned back in the shuttle. “I didn’t realize I was with a badass.” As he looked out the window he noticed the landscape began to blur together into just a screen of white.

“Close your eyes.” Joan said as Aspen began to blur and shimmer around them. “It’s about to get bright.”

The Devil had no reason to doubt a saint, and closed his eyes tight. Erica did the same, hiding her's under her hands.

Bright was an understatement. He could see numbers and lines shine through his eyelids with perfect clarity and burn into his eyes like when you stare at a light bulb. It lasted for but a moment, like the x-ray flash on a nuclear bomb.

“Was that God?” Erica gasped as the shuttle suddenly found itself in the middle of New York City.

“Just a little.” Was Joan’s answer, as she pulled up to what was obviously a club. It thumped with music, and the blacked out wndiws bleed bright colors. At night it must have been a popular spot… but it was noon in New York…

“That’s weird.” Stan said, half impressed this place was going in the middle of the day. “How many people could possibly want to club at lunch time?”

“I guess it depends how stressful their job is.” She leaned over to Joan. “This is his house?”

“Oui.”

Erica snorted out a laugh. This guy lived at a night club. "What a sad fuck." She then looked to Stan. "At least it's not Hell."

Stand smirked. “For me this may be hell.”

Joan turned around to face them. "We are in the real world now, so please be cautious with any of your zanny nonsense. People around here may not just smile and nod if you two do something in public."

Erica gave Stan a sour look. "You have nothing to worry about there."

Stan returned the look, and the two seemed more like brother and sister that, daddy and daughther, or even Master and ****. "She's right Joan, we'll be perfect angels. Are you coming with?"

"No." Joan made a face of disgust twice as powerful as what Erica had just produced. "I want to spit just thinking about what kind of man could be in there. I would only bring ruin, I am sure of this." She then smiled and gave them a wink. "I will circle zhe block, as they say."

With that the two headed inside to meet the first Harem Skylar had ever sculpted, and the man who ran it all. As they vanished into the thumping and lights of the club Joan drove away. On her dashboard a navigator asked for her next destination. She checked her mirrors and made sure the club was gone from her view. "Plot a course for Portland."