A good time.

Madison pushed Ross onto the bed and gently pulled the docile Pat in front of her. Pat smiled vacantly and moved as directed and sat next to Ross. She continued to stare dully into the middle distance.

"I've got another surprise," Madison said.

"Really? Because that was incredible."

"Oh, come on," Madison said. "You think all I had to offer was a cheesy song? No, I gave Pat here a little upgrade."

"Expanding ass?" Ross said as he stared at the oblivious woman next to him.

"What? No!" Madison said, bursting into laughter. "No, why would- no, that's not it. Here's a question - do you authorize Pat to apply modifier scripts to me?"

Ross stared at her with confusion. "Say yes," she prompted after a few seconds. He complied and she continued.

"Awesome! Now, Pat. Can you make me... hmm... oh! I know! Drunk! Make me drunk."

The two golems made eye contact and there was a brief pause. Madison's eyes swam out of focus briefly and leaned forward to correct for a sudden perception that she was falling backwards. She put her hands down on either side to steady herself.

"Oh, whoops," she said as her swaying subsided and she stared at her knees. When she felt stable enough she looked up. "I probably shouldn'a said drunk. This is gonna be hard to explain."

Ross wasn't sure what to make of this. "Madison? Did she, like, flash you a script or something?"

Madison had one eye closed and her answer came slowly. "No, but when she hears drunk she hears shitfaced! Goddamn, girl, I feel like I got hit by a fuckin' mack truck!"

It occurred to Ross that the other golem may be able to explain the situation more coherently. Ignoring his rambling sloppy girlfriend, he turned to the other golem and asked what the hell was going on.

"I have been upgraded with a cutting-edge visual dynamism allowing near-instant transference of rhizomatic logic structures-"

"She can fuckin' be a modifier," Madison slurred. "Shut the fuck up with that nerd shit. What you gotta know, is it's an eye thing. Like she makes her eyeballs be a modifier to get me shitfaced and-"

"Eye contact acts like flashing a modifier," Ross finished.

"Fuckin' rude, interrupting a bitch just 'cause she's a golem," Madison slurred again. "She can put 'em on and take em off individj- indidgj- one at a time. And the sky's the fuckin' limit! If you can describe it, she can make me the thing."

"Sober her up," Ross said. Pat nodded and Madison sucked in a deep breath.

"Thank you," she said wearily. "I was-"

"Make her stoned. Really stoned," Ross said with a grin. Madison opened her mouth to reply when her eyes swam out of focus and her facial muscles drooped. She let out a long sigh and collapsed backwards onto the bed to stare through bloodshot eyes at the ceiling.

"You fuckin'... asshole," she drawled.