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Chapter 2 by bejjinks bejjinks

Who are you anyway?

A former Christian

Your name is Jason. You were raised in an extremely religious home and you had been fully indoctrinated. You studied the Bible and even had memorized a lot of scripture. You tried to live by it's teachings but you were unhappy and discouraged all the time. You especially didn't like your father because he was so strict and cold. Your mother and three sisters were more tolerant but they too were always criticizing you. You could never be good enough. In fact, they taught that just having genitals was a sin and you thought you wouldn't be good enough until you castrated yourself and you weren't about to do that.

With the ability to rewrite the rules, you know the Bible well enough that you have some good ideas on where to start.

You go to write, "Greet one another with a kiss." but you discover that has already been written in the Bible five times. So apparently, that's one of the many rules that Christians ignore. You better make sure that rule gets enforced. You write, "Greet every Christian, regardless of gender, with a passionate kiss. If you fail to love your brother, you will be condemned to Hell."

Now to deal with spanking, you erase every passage that tells parents to spank their children and replace it with a passage telling parents to hug their children.

Just for good measure, you replace the sabbath law with, "but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not wear clothing, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he made man without clothing on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy."

What's next?

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