A few days later...

Romilda stamped her foot.

"You boys," she said, "are in a lot of trouble."

"I don't know what you mean," said Fred.

"It's nothing to do with us," said George. They were standing in the back room of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, looking at a small paper bag full of chocolate-covered nuts. "What are these, again?"

"I was completely... in front of the whole school. I've never been so embarrassed in my life."

"We know."

"We were there."

"We saw you."

"Starkers."

"Skyclad."

"Au naturel."

"In the buff."

"In your birthday suit."

"In the altogether."

"In the costume of Eve."

"Nude," said Fred, or possibly George, as Romilda grimaced in frustration. "And covered in custard. It was very funny. But I don't know why you're blaming us."

"If we'd done it," said George, or possibly Fred, "we wouldn't hesitate to take the credit. We like naked girls, us. But it wasn't."

"It was probably that Hermione," said Fred, or possibly George, but probably Fred.

"You made these nuts?"

"Never seen them before in my life," said George.

"They've got your logo on the bag."

"So they do," said Fred. "They must be a forgery."

"Eat one."

"No."

"Why not? They're perfectly good nuts."

"I don't know who made them. They might be dangerous."

"How could they be dangerous? They're nuts."

"They might be magic nuts."

"If you don't eat one right now," said Parvati, "I'll turn you into a frog."

"And I'll sit on the frog," said Lavender.

"What if we skipped the frog part?" said Fred.

"And you just sat on me?" said George. "On my face, for preference."

Romilda raised her wand.

"If you help us get **** on Hermione," she said, "we'll all sit on your face for as long as you want. Parvati will sit on Fred's face, and Lavender will sit on George's face."

"What about you?"

"I'll supervise."

"What if we don't?" said George.

"Frog."

"Can you even do that?"

"Watch me."

George shrugged.

"I suppose we might as well help," he said. "As long as someone's going to sit on my face."

"I don't mind pranking Hermione some more," said Fred. "Though I'd rather have Lavender."

"You can have her. I don't really mind."

"That's very kind of you, George."

"Hold on," said Parvati. "I wasn't aware there was going to be face-sitting."

"I don't mind," said Lavender. "As long as I don't have to do it in public."

"Then we're agreed," said Romilda.

"Are we?"

"Shut up, Parvati. Fred, George, you'll agree to help us strip Hermione completely naked and humiliate her in front of as many people as possible. In exchange, Lavender and Parvati will allow you to perform cunnilingus on them. Agreed?"

"Agreed," said Fred.

"Agreed," said George.

"Agreed," said Lavender.

"Um," said Parvati.

"Then we're all agreed. Now, what's our plan of attack?"