A devastated stage

I stepped through the debris of the auditorium, the torn seats and ripped carpet still occasionally smoking, while around me the occasional spark or light jolt of electricity would occasionally sound. The thunder from above had ceased, and the sound was now quiet except from a small pounding from somewhere on the stage. It repeated, pounding a quick three times before pausing, then pounding again three times. Standard signal of distress.

I picked my way through the devastation, kicking the occasional beer cup out of the way, and trying not to step on what looked like... nope, not going to think about it. There was enough nightmarish visuals around here without putting more shit into my head. Just focus on what I need to. The pounding ahead of me. From the... ok, the fire's out at least, that's something.

The orchestra pit was just as devastated as the rest of the theater, with overturned stands, smashed instruments, and what looked like a drumline harness wrapped around the former conductor's neck with several large hammers scattered around the no longer bleeding corpse. Clearly the worst case of suicide I'd ever seen, and I concentrated on walking around the residue of the orgy of destruction, rather than stare right at it.

The pounding continued, and I took in a small booth that seemed to have a hose nozzle stuck in its doors, still spurting the occasional pulse of water as it rattled in between the two vertical bars that held them together. Again it sounded from behind the metal, and the doors rattled again as approached.

"Hello?" I called, causing an intensification in the rattling and shaking at the doors.

Now, I had no idea who or what was in there, and I know that just walking up to the shaking box and opening it is the absolute last thing you ever want to do in a horror movie. My mind raced through every fucking genre. I was hoping at this point, my mind flitting to what Eris had said earlier, that since this was a porn world, this might work out for the best.

The slight splash of water against the floor as I yanked the nozzle out from between the bars was chilly, and soaked into the ankles of my jeans. I dropped it to the ground, where it clattered for a moment, before pulling open the booth doors and allowing a billowing cloud of ozone scented smoke to escape.

A racking cough and gasping breath were the first sounds I heard as the door slammed open and a slight man in what looked like a cloth shower curtain rushed past me. He took several steps before dropping his hands onto a nearby wreckage which at some point had been a light fixture, and hacked again, before spitting and inhaling deeply.

I looked into the booth from which he had come, seeing a sophisticated control board, all of which seemed to be smoking and fizzling. Untouched in the middle of the control panel lay a smartphone, its cord plugged directly into a small slot beneath it. The sound of electrical discharge again burst forth, and another cloud of acrid smoke belched from the control panel, underneath a small handwritten note which neatly blocked the "Breaker" panel.

"Zeus...

Fine, you can have electricity in the divorce. However, since you think safety is for pussies, quote unquote, you won't mind if I take circuit breakers and fuses.

Enjoy your Ladyboys and Eunuchs, asshole.

-Hera

P.s. I faked it. A LOT. "

I winced in sympathy at the note. I'd read one or two of Kaila's angry notes. They weren't pretty. She didn't write them any more, but this one... felt like something right out of the worst period of our marriage. But worse, far worse. The note felt almost like every possible bit of scorn that a woman could bestow on a man, amplified to eleven and punctuated by a nice twist on the stab of the ego. Why would he have kept this? Why would he have kept it around? There was no reason whatsoever to have it, but there it was, looking like it was tacked... oh, that's why... it won't come off. Of course.

The man hacked again behind me, and I took in the white beard and muscular figure. Not as Hollywood as I would have thought. I noticed the pronounced stomach and hunched figure. It seemed that he had been in that booth a while, or at least that's what I would have assumed from the pale skin and sunken eyes.

"So... let me guess, you're the guy I'm supposed to pay no attention to."

The man hacked again, breathing deeply. He produced an inhaler from somewhere about his person and breathed deeply, before straightening up again. He was of course perfect in every way, with his bulging muscles and godlike physique. All mortal men had to quake in fear of him, and of course I...

Shook off the impulse and stared at him again, noting that he had returned to the rather hunched figure breathing heavily and holding an inhaler. He was looking at me suspiciously now, and brought himself up to his full height, and struck what I assume was supposed to be an imposing figure.

"Tremble Mortal, For you look upon the mighty Zeus! Pay homage before me, or you shall be smited for your insolence."

I stared at him, a thought standing out in my mind. Smited? Shouldn't that be smitten? I mean, I could be wrong, but that seemed wrong. A god making a mistake in grammar? That's... ridiculous. Gods don't make mistakes in grammar. Ever. I noted his eyes looking past me at the booth, specifically at the phone. He glanced back to me, then back to the phone. He did it repeatedly. Enough so that I realized that he was trying to get me to ask about the phone... and make it my idea.

"Wait... wait... can we just skip through this... I THINK I've seen this one, and here's how it goes." I began. "You get me to go after what I THINK is the source of your power, you warn me not to do it, I do it anyway, boom, punished for disrespecting the gods. That pretty close?"

He slumped against the wreckage, exhaling roughly.

"I suppose I shouldn't even bother trying..."

"Brent, I am your father? Yeah, that one ain't gonna fly either." I crossed my ankles, elevating myself for a second onto my toes to get a little circulation going through my feet. I'd been standing a LONG damn time.

"What if it was true?" He murmured.

"I'd laugh, because I like Broadway musicals, Mr. Mushnik. "

"I honestly don't get it, " He murmured, looking at the phone again. This time it seemed a little more genuine, as if he actually wanted to google what I was talking about.

"Good," I smiled. "Once in a while, I just like having a joke that other people don't get. You don't have to get it. I don't have to sit down and explain it. It's for me. Nobody else. Somebody, somewhere might find it funny, might get it. Somebody somewhere might think I'm saying something I'm not. And that's why I don't care what you know. You'll read into what I say whatever you want to. You'll try to turn it towards the ultimate goal. The final prize. Which is giving you my power. Letting you dictate the way I think about the world."

I looked at the phone wired to the control panel, and the sparks that flew from it in response were quite satisfying. It seemed that whatever had stopped it from being consumed by the all consuming chain reaction had been lifted, and it began to quietly burn along with the rest of its electronic brethren.

"Ok. Then, seems that you won't listen to reason, so time for honesty." Zeus shrugged, leaning back on the wreckage.

"You say that like they're two different things." I observed.

"There are many ways to lie, Brent. Let's start off with identity. You, for example, are one hell of an annoying and persistent demigoddess. I THOUGHT your cult was dead, and I even gave you exactly what you wanted. "

"You're bullshitting me again," I argued.

"Hear me out. Listen to what I have to offer at least. It can't hurt to at least LISTEN. You just think about it. Decide whether or not it's worth having me around. You need villains, Brent. You can't just have a happy ending where everyone succeeds. That's not real. You know that's not real. So will everyone else in the world you try to create, and it will come crashing down around your ears as everyone tunes out from your happy fun time show for kiddies."

"So what, I just use a phone, and change the world?" I snorted.

"People will believe that. People do believe that. You would not believe how much power there is in belief. If I let her, Social Media can make you another new god. Just bow before her, and she can do it. Right now."

"What are you saying here?"

"I'm saying that you win, ok. Fuck. You win the bet, Penelope! You managed to do the impossible. Great, congratulations! Well fucking done."

"Who the fuck is..." A sudden rush went through me as he said the name. A sense of pride and accomplishment.

"Penelope, I'm asking you, please. Keep me around. Make things like they were. Five against one isn't a fair fight, and you know it. Three against one I can handle, but you're just being nasty."

"I don't even know what you're talking about."

"Then just listen to me for a while. We sit down, we talk about things... I let you in on the secrets of the universe, and you show me gratitude. All I need you to do is acknowledge who I am, say my name, and listen."