A case of the giggles

When I became sane and earned my permanent release from Arkham, I couldn't have been more proud of myself. I was at peace with the world and everyone in it. There are so many possibilities that have opened up for me. I now work in the mail room at Wayne Enterprises and I will no longer have any battles with the Dark Knight. The best thing about my new life is that Pam and I are talking about getting married. I know that we will never be able to have kids since we are both women, but I still couldn't love Red any less.

I failed to realized that there was one drawback of my new life. Some of the inmates of Gotham would think that I have turned traitor. Some of the inmates would be out for my blood. I feel sorry for those inmates that can't take the same path Red and I have taken. Pam and I are inspecting a security monitor in Pam's bedroom to see where the trouble was coming from. I shudder a little when I see that the confrontation that I have been dreading is unfolding before me. I see three thugs dressed as the Three Stooges breaking through the front door. That isn't what concerns me. Breaking in through a backdoor is that stupid clown prince of crime. I knew he would be the psycho that would want against me the most since I spent all those years as his stupid henchperson. There is one thing I don't understand. If he wanted against me, why is he breaking into Pam's place? Why didn't he break into my apartment?

"Why is it always the Three Stooges?" Pam snorted. "Why couldn't it be Laurel and Hardy for once?"

"It would be the same bunch of idiots no matter who they dressed as," I suggested with a shrug of my shoulders.

"I think you better take your weapons," Red suggested as she opened her closet and pointed at a bag that I never thought I would see again.

I sigh as I unzip the bag that I thought would never see again. At least these weapons would be used for good this time. I put the first weapon that I want to use into my pocket and I sling the bag over my shoulder.

"We'll have to split up," Pam suggested.

"O-kay," I reluctantly agreed.

I carefully peek out of the bedroom to see if the coast is clear and then I start heading towards the living room. I see "Larry" carelessly looking for us and carrying a machine gun. I take out my yo-yo and take careful aim. I swing my arm and hear the yo-yo zing satisfyingly through the air. I have the idiot knocked out with a blow to the back of the head before he ever sees me. As I am tying up the moron, I have a disturbing thought. There was a time when the clown had captured Catwoman and was going to grind her up in an abandoned cat food factory so he could send Batman a can of cat food in . Oh, my gosh! I know what the maniac has on his demented mind! He wants to kill Pam and send me one of her body parts in the mail! I never should have agreed to split up from Pam! I start frantically looking through hallways for my girlfriend. I think about calling for her but I do not want to give away my position.

I find out where they are when I hear one of the Joker's henchman screaming in fright. I ran to the back of the house and find that Red has "Moe" dangling upside down in a vine. Red is so busy taunting the bad guy that she doesn't see "Curly" sneaking up behind her. I quickly get my boxing glove gun from my bag. I kneel down to the ground on my right knee. I take aim and fire. I yell "HEY YOU!" right after that. "Curly" turns around just in time to see the boxing glove punch him right in the nose and he goes down. I don't have time to celebrate because I now hear the last voice that I ever wanted to hear.

"Niceness has made you sloppy, Pammy!" Joker laughs as he comes out of the darkness.

"We'll just see who will get sloppy in a minute!" Red retorts.

A flashback goes through my mind that shows Laughing Boy knocking me through a window and out of a building with a fish which almost killed me. Now, he wants to hurt Red. That is not going to happen as long as I'm alive. I reach in my bag for one final weapon and slip what looks like a normal boxing glove over my right hand. I rush forward because I want to be the one who wipes the smile off the demented clown's face. The sick clown sees me and reaches inside his jacket for one of his sharp playing cards to throw at me. It's too bad for him that I know all of his moves and easily dodge it. I keep advancing and easily dodge an acid attack from his flower. He is about to take out a gun and shoot me, but it is too late. I sock the clown as hard as I can right in the middle of his putrid face. A loud metallic clank rings through the air.

"You're despicable!" Joker gurgles just before passing out.

I take off the boxing glove and shake a horseshoe out of it and onto the floor. I then drop the boxing glove.

"Who says you can't learn anything from cartoons?" I laugh as I look down at the mess on the floor with a bright smile on my face.

I turn around and see that Red has been shaken a little by her blunder.

"Are you okay, Red?" I ask.

"Yeah," Red sighs.

I can do nothing but tightly wrap my arms around my girlfriend and kiss her.