A bit of Creative Chaos

"All right!" Eris spun on her toes and danced a quick step which involved hiking up one knee while standing perfectly upright, kicking out the foot several times, and returning it to her calf in an elegant pose. "Hmmm... you're right. That IS sexy and shows off how strong my legs are. Gonna have to remember that one."

Her finger descended on the swirling plate, and etched a small curving design that started at the center. Her finger moved at what looked like complete random over the plate, jotting small marks that seemed to work wonders. I swore for a moment I could see what looked like a zoetrope image of Eris, in bright detail, performing each of the steps in exact relief. Her finger continued to jot, before the entire image became a random assortment of scratches and tiny leftover bits of cake once again.

"Can see a lot of random coincidental stuff when you've just passed out." Eris laughed, before looking at me and again beginning to scribble with her finger upon the spinning plate. "Don't worry, even trying to explain the concept of what I'm doing you won't understand. Speaking of weird coincidences, you know people sometimes see the Virgin Mary in pieces of toast and shit? Just a total coincidence, or somebody playing with photoshop? Which do you think it is?"

"I thought you said you'd tell me the truth." I decided to at least make a stab at comprehending exactly what was going on.

"I am. Oh... wait... and shit... shit has more than one meaning...that word has... so many meanings... uhm... I meant it in the... uhm... This language is so complicated, uh... random things sense. Not the **** sense or the excrement sense, or the lies sense." Eris quickly moved her finger again, and I noted a small emoticon with several smaller definitions completely slashed out.

"She appear in..."

"No... Brent, people think she appears in... uh... well, I mean if somebody ate the toast, I suppose it would... but we're getting a little off the subject here. If there is a subject. I'm not sure. This is what you want after all. I'm just keeping busy while you make up your mind."

I looked at the woman as she again made marks on the spinning plate. It hadn't stopped moving this entire time, and the soft scritches as her nail met the ceramic were strangely melodic.

"So... anything I want." I mumbled, looking at Eris.

"Yeah. Anything you want."

"I want a Winnebago. I want a full size bed the next time I have to have sex in a car. I'm sick of the crick in my neck, which I don't mention, because usually when I'm having it, one of you ladies is about to come and I don't want to ruin the mood." This one had been on my mind for a couple of years, ever since Kaila had first suggested it. I hadn't brought it up, but this seemed like a VERY good time to do so.

Eris looked at me with a dumbfounded expression, before scratching her chin thoughtfully.

"You know... that's thinking pretty small." Eris smiled at me. "Do you really want to be stuck in a world full of other people who drive around in Winnebagos? Think of the Average age group, Brent. Plus you've got all the other things that go along with it... I mean, maybe there's a story in there about a guy and four gals who travel around the country being slutty and having family adventures, but I just ain't feeling it. Little too... Little House on the Freeway. Think Bigger. Start with that. I mean, we could have some fun with that if you wanted..."

"Whaddya mean..."

"In a world... short on gas..." Eris intoned quietly, doing a trailer voice. "A man and the women that he loves face an uncertain future..."

"Uh... no thanks, I think I'll pass on that one."

"Well, it's just one idea... Thought you might like some action to go with all the sex."

"Not the kind that involves bikers and other extras picked up from the S and M leather bar." I objected.

"Yeah, you have had enough tragedy as it is. Don't really need another dose of it." Eris nodded, her fingers flipping down on the plate, and causing it to catapult into the air. She caught the flipping item close to her chest, and through some rather impressive prestidigitation, managed to make it disappear from view. "Hmmm, oh, there's that one where you will get complete immunity from prosecution and a Winnebago..."

"Prosecution for what?"

"Do you want the spoiler? You won't have a lead role in that, but none of the gals will appear onscreen or in danger." Eris smiled at me. "It will happen about twenty years ago. You even will get Helen again. She doesn't have the same name, but she totally gives you a chance, despite being very obviously not interested"

"Will happen twenty years ago?"

"Oh dear, we're up against that whole language barrier thing again. It's nearly impossible for me to explain fifth dimensional concepts to you when you don't even have the ability to really express fourth dimensional concepts, in anything but the most basic of terms." Eris shrugged her shoulders. "I hate to say it this way, because I uh... I guess, Remember is the best way to put it, how condescending it feels to hear this, but you'll understand when you're older, sweetie."

"Yeah, it does feel a bit condescending, but then I just remembered who I'm talking to..." I nodded at the thought. I felt a small bit of sand still in my shoes, and brushed a bit more from my thighs, where I had so recently been resting much of my weight.

"If it makes you feel better to be offended, have fun with it. Lots of people really like that emotion. Makes them feel good to think that they are better than others. Nice warm drone of superiority. Knowing that they're always right." Eris taunted me. "I'm not going to change of course, but be as offended as you like. It's free."

"So... since I don't really get it, do you want to just... I dunno... play a while?" I suggested. It seemed childish, goofy, but in the moment, it seemed like the response.

"No... No I think you do get it." Eris bit at the knuckle of her left index finger with a wide grin. "Thinking... oooh! I got an idea... how would you like to be up against the stupidest bad guys ever?"

"What, like the Galactic Empire Dumb?" I asked.

"No, Dumber." Eris rubbed her hands together with glee and looked directly at the golden apple.

"Dr. Evil Dumb?"

"Dumber."