A Working Breather.

I immediately sat down and caught my breath. My balls had been in my throat for a few minutes and I needed to calm down. I was safe now. Well.. as safe as one could be with the threat of interdimensional war on the way.

No. Now wasn’t time for pity. I stood up and brought Bulma to Mitsuru in the Observation Deck, “Here, Bulma: Mitsuru. Mitsuru: Bulma. Where’s Takane?” Mitsuru looked confused at my hurry, but replied anyway.

“She’s not here. The girls went out to go shopping and get manicures. I think they’re bonding.” I nodded at her response and gave her a ‘thanks’. I looked at Bulma quickly and flashed her a smile, who responded with a concerned smile of her own. We three retired to the Observation deck.

“Oh, Jason,” said Mitsuru, “I have some good news and some very good news, which do you want first?” she said in absolute deadpan.

Good news from her is rare, “Uh, let’s go with the normal Good news.”

She nodded, “I have equipped all of the girls with their own phone and tracking device.”

I squinted at her, trying to deduce if she was making a joke (or worse, not making a joke [or even worse, not making a joke but still understanding what that statement really means]).

“Mitsuru, why have you equipped my wives with tracking devices?” I replied as simply as I could, “And don’t just say ‘so we don’t lose them’.”

She sighed and looked irritated, “I’m not a misanthrope, Jason. I am perfectly aware of the social implications of equipping your wives with tracking devices. But seeing as we are inviting them from other universes, I elected to (with their permission) do so regardless. For their protection as well as ours.”

I understood the implication of that last clause. Ultimately we can’t be certain that the girls are benevolent. I had a hard time believing that they weren’t, but I couldn’t dismiss the idea out of hand. I wasn’t even certain anyone on this planet could stop Rangiku if she decided to burn the place down.

I shook my head, “And the very good news?”

“Ah, that!” She perked up, “The rate of invasion pulses has reduced significantly.”

“Invasion pulses?” I asked. I don’t recall her explaining that one to me.

She took off her glasses and cleaned them, “The means by which the interdimensional aliens have attempted to enter the world is… let’s call it a sound. They have been using a technique that is seemingly similar to echolocation to find our universe to break in.”

I was catching on, “So their sonar is off? They can’t find us?”

She shook her head and sat down on the sofa, “Not quite. It’s more like that they have lost immediate sight of us, and I believe I have enough data to deduce why.” I gestured her to continue, “I believe that your repeated forays into other universes has scrambled our location.”

“Like a diversion?” Bulma cut in.

“Not unlike. Imagine the multiverse as 3D space. They had our scent, but suddenly Jason appeared in another location, messing with their telemetry.”

“And you’re sure?” I asked, not wanting to get my hopes up.

“I have charted the reduction in pulses with each of your travels, yes.”

“So… we’re not in danger?” I asked, finally allowing myself to hope.

Her eyes turned downcast, “No, we are. Eventually they may become wise to our act. And even if they don’t, you will essentially need to continue traveling to other worlds infinitely to prevent their invasion.”

I sighed, “So, nothing much has changed. I need to… continue my wife hunting.”

Bulma laughed, “Oh, I’m certain that’s just killing you inside.” I internally rolled my eyes, her sarcasm completely warranted.

I flicked her on the forehead, assuming we had that kind of relationship, and turned back to Mitsuru, “So what now? I’m actually feeling pretty energetic, so I could keep going right away.”

“I haven’t decided,” she replied with a frown, “All I know is we need scientists and mechanics and we need them yesterday.”

“If you ask me,” I said, not necessarily disagreeing with her, “We need a way to fix this power problem you’re having.”

She huffed, more frustrated than I at the inadequacies of our power system. But also the problem of being unable to just take power from another universe, as we’d have to give the same amount of power back, “So how does power be ‘worth’ less there than it is here?” she pondered that.

Oh, “Oh, I’ve got it,” I replied. It hit me. “And if I’m right, it’ll solve both of our problems.”

She scoffed, “Impossible… you can’t have solved a way to circumvent Newton’s law of energy, Jason.”

“Actually-”

“Please, Jason. Which of us has the PhDs here,” she flicked her greasy hair, “Leave the science to me, I just need you to be a himbo attracting fictional women.”

“No, Mitsuru, I-”

She just laughed over me at that point.

I pulled out the ultimate weapon against Mitsuru, “You’re just afraid I solved a problem you couldn’t.”

She stopped laughing, “Very well.” Her voice went cold. “Explain this master plan of yours. But be warned: I don’t like being insulted.”

I rolled my eyes, she was more dramatic than the actual fictional girls, “I’ll go to Planet Rubicon from Armored Core 6, I’ll pick up Cinder Carla there and bring back a small sample of Coral. That’s 2 birds with one stone. A skilled mechanic and scientist as well as an energy source that will grow in value over here but be pretty weak there.”

She looked at me with abject horror, “Y-you’re right, that would contribute to solving both problems. But Jason, there’s a major problem with that!”

I knew what she meant. Coral, the mcguffin that serves as the main point of contention in Armored Core 6. To put it simply, Coral is a miraculous self-propagating microorganism that grows into large colonies (like coral reefs) into the shape of human synapses. It can grow to be conscious, but it’s also useful as a substance. It is edible, it’s a superconductor, and when lit on fire, burns at a prolific rate. A nigh-impossible energy transfer, making it an incredible fuel for combustion engines. So, theoretically, I could bring some back to our universe while it’s still ‘a little bit’ and let it grow here on Earth, allowing Mitsuru access to a nigh-infinite fuel source.

But there’s also a problem. Coral grows at a similarly unstoppable rate, and if it ever got out, we’d have a bigger conflict on Earth than oil barons could ever dream of, and a potential apocalypse event. Mitsuru was being pragmatic when she said it was a problem. Still, I couldn’t think of a better choice, and neither could she.

Fortunately, it was stupidly easy to manipulate this woman, “Oh well, I guess that’s that.” She nodded, putting the idea to bed. But it was far from over, “It just can’t be done by anyone.” She grunted in affirmation again, “I mean, I would’ve thought if anyone was up to the challenge of containing Coral it would be you, Mitsuru…” She perked up at that. “But I guess if it’s beyond you then we have no other choice.” And I turned away.

“Now wait a moment, Jason.” Heh. Got her. “Theoretically, containing Coral could be done here on Earth in a way that’s not possible on Rubicon.”

“What? Really?” I goaded her on, “But how?” I actually didn’t know, but I was pretending to be in awe of her intelligence.

She puffed up, “It’s simple. Coral couldn’t be controlled on Rubicon because it was out in the wild. If it always and only existed in containment (assuming containment was sufficient), then it’s possible we can make sure it never becomes an issue.”

That actually made sense. Coral was being mined on Rubicon, that’s one of its problems. The other was a terrified scientist trying to get it to collapse, if I recall correctly, “Are you up for it?” I asked her.

She pondered that for a moment, “Yes, I think I can contain it. And if I can’t, we’ll need to get a woman who can. But that won’t be an issue…”

“So, Rubicon then?” I asked her.

She shook her head, “No, I’ll need a little time to set up a containment chamber for the Coral,” she said flatly, “In the meantime, I think it’s time you summoned a new warrior wife like Rangiku. Maybe a few of them, even.”

“Aren’t you worried about energy problems?” I asked her.

“If I’ve done my math right, I can get another Rangiku-tier woman through the Rift before I need to go steal new power cells again.” What? She said that like it was a minor annoyance.

“That was was an entirely different sentence than your tone conveyed,” I said, annoyed with her antics.

“We have Rangiku now, Jason. Nobody on Earth can stop her from grabbing the power cells I need.” Funny, that’s the contrapositive of my earlier concern.

I karate chopped her head. “My wife is not your mafia enforcer, Mitsuru.”

“But why not?” she pouted, seemingly without irony.

Regardless, I got to work thinking of new Warrior Wives. I didn’t know who to pick, “I could just… go with Samus or something?” I said.

Mitsuru pondered that for a moment, and then shrugged, “Well you need a warrior woman and you’re probably going to get her eventually. Might as well do it now. It’s hard to say if she is as powerful as Rangiku is… unless you count the Metroid suit… but who knows. That might just mean we’ll have spare power draw. I’ll prepare the prompt, Jason. Go down to the Rift”

I entered the Rift chamber and sat on the probe, “Okay, Jason,” spoke Bulma from the intercom, “We’ll be sending you directly into the cargo hold of Samus’ ship. The intrusion will probably be detected and she’ll come to check you out. Then you go to whatever her sleeping quarters are and bang her like a steel drum.”

I sighed and nodded. This was sort of my life now. I held my thumb up, indicating I’m ready whenever.

---

And just like before, the sounds of machines whirring and the warbling of the rift began, until suddenly one breath I was on Earth, and the next I was in complete darkness. Well, it was dark for about 3 seconds before an alarm blared and red lights appeared everywhere, revealing my surroundings. It was a small, square, empty room, no greater than 10 feet across. To my right was what I assumed was a hatch to outside, and to my left was ladder, leading up to a bulkhead.

Before I had time to acclimate to the sound of the alarm, the bulkhead burst open, revealing the woman of the hour in her complete power suit. More accurately, it was the Gravity Suit from Metroid Dread. She was pointing her arm cannon right at me, so I held up my hands in the universal (I hoped) sign of surrender.

She lowered her cannon and the alarm stopped, “Who are you?” Said a feminine voice with a radio-like filter over it.

I cleared my throat, “I’m Jason. You…uh..” Oh I hate this part, “You might have read a manga about me? Harem Hero?”

I could only see her eyes through her visor, but the shock was apparent, “What?”

“Yeah, you know. Handsome guy travels the multiverse, grabbing beautiful women who are his fans and bringing them to his world to help him defend it… and be his wives?”

“I know what Harem Hero is,” She said forcefully. I wasn’t sure of this tactic, suddenly. But I was too deep now.

“Well, that’s me. I’m Jason the Harem Hero,” And I smiled for good measure.

She paused for a moment, “Why are you here?” she asked, somewhat withdrawn.

I cleared my throat, I was a bit parched, but I was more just dreading saying it outright, “I’m… uh… here to recruit you. To the harem.” I couldn’t read this woman at all with her helmet on, but something told me I wouldn’t be able to do it anyway.

“You’re new to this, aren’t you?” she said flatly. That was progress, I think.

“Well, none of the others have pointed any weapons at me,” I said, confident for the first time, "Not sure how to stay composed."

She put her hand on her hip, “Early in the story, then.” What a grim statement. “Come in, but be careful. It’s a small ship.”

I followed her up the ladder, and realized I didn’t know much about Samus’ personality. This was a completely undercooked idea, what the hell am I doing? I know she’s compassionate and has a strong sense of justice. I know she used to be rebellious and suppresses PTSD about the Space Pirates. I know she has strong maternal instincts like when she wanted to raise the baby metroid.

Is that enough? I entered the main cabin of the ship, and beheld her the first time. First of all, she was really fucking tall. 6’3” I think, and that was without the heels, “Wait here.” she said, and retreated into the only other room in the ship.

And I stood there. Alone. Awkwardly. “Are you really Jason Warbler?” Asked a disembodied, computerized voice.

“Uh, what?” Oh yeah. Samus’ on-board AI. ADAM. “Yes. I am. Though my last name isn’t Warbler, I have an explanation for that.” Fucking birds, man.

“Samus is a big fan of Harem Hero,” the AI said quietly, “She regularly fantasizes about you and will undoubtedly take you up on your offer. Take care of her.” He’s acting like her dad… well if her dad knew what his daughter was getting off to. “I will also give you two some privacy, as she is changing into the lingerie she keeps in preparation for this eventuality.”

I sighed, having been somewhat anticipating this, “Thanks.” And flashed a thumbs up. She actually keeps a set of underwear for if I showed up on this tiny-ass ship. I looked out the cockpit to see… empty space, maybe some distant stars. Wow. I’m in space. Hadn’t actually thought about that part.

“First time in space?” came an unfiltered voice from behind me. I turned around to behold Samus out of her power suit for the first time, now in the famous Zero Suit. I did my best to maintain eye contact even with her huge rack, big as in fanart, staring right at me.

She correctly deduced from my view out the cockpit, “Yeah. I’ve been to a few worlds now, but this is the first time in space.”

She slid past me, “Get used to it,” she said sitting down in the pilot’s seat and inputting something into a console, “I’ve read Harem Hero. You end up in space a lot.” Good to know. “So, what’s going on? Any specific reason you’ve come to see me?”

Her matter-of-factness left no room to beat around the bush, “I’m in need of fighters. I only have one at the moment, and there’s some interdimensional invasion happening in some unspecified amount of time.”

She nodded, “Makes sense. You wouldn’t come to just find little old me otherwise.”

“You…” I said, confused, “I don’t know how quite to tell you this, Samus, but you’re considered among the most attractive women in fiction on my world.”

“Oh,” she said, “I’m… not exactly human, Jason.” I was perfectly aware. Not only was she genetically engineered by alien bird people, but she has been mutated by a vaccine containing Metroid DNA.

“Oh, I know. Raven Beak, X Parasite, all of it.” I tried to downplay her insecurity, hoping to brute **** through it.

It seemed to have the opposite effect, and the glared at me, “It’s kind of unfair, you knowing everything about me but I only know a little about you.”

I shrugged, “If it helps, Metroid is an action franchise. I have very little insight into your personality.” I leaned close, “I was hoping you could fill in the rest.”

She scoffed, “You’re new to it, but a natural flirt. Just like the anime. Though, learning my entire world is named Metroid is annoying.” And we locked lips for the first time.

---

Bulma and Mitsuru began comparing notes, sharing technology, and drafting schematics. Learning that, and more importantly how, Capsule tech actually worked was a godsend and allowed enabled her to move equipment between floors with almost no effort. She even learned a little labeling trick Bulma had come up with.

While the two were hard at work in the 1st floor garage, something completely unforeseen transpired. A machine appeared, as if from nowhere. The two women recognized it immediately. Bulma had first seen it when a future version of herself sent Vegeta’s daughter to the present. Mitsuru recognized it from the Dragon Ball anime, wherein Bulma had sent her son, Trunks, to the present to prevent the destruction of the Z Fighters.

IE, both women recognized the Dragon Ball Z Time Machine. What they didn’t recognize was the woman who climbed out of its cockpit and began speaking to them, “Listen to me very carefully, ladies. Your plan is going to fail unless you do exactly what I tell you.”

---

Samus flew her ship across the reaches of space. As far as I knew, Metroid was like Star Trek in that it took place entirely within one galaxy, actually understanding how unimaginably huge even a single galaxy was, “So where are we headed?” I asked her, trying to relax.

“Hot spring,” she replied, “You look exhausted. This place is one of the most restful spots in the galaxy and time dilation makes several days there mere minutes on Earth. Well… my Earth. No clue if your Earth is the same way.”

“O-oh.” That was kind of her, “So we’re going to go have a nap and a bath?”

She looked right at me like I was speaking Greek, “Among other things.”