A Work of Art

Melanie walked to the front of the mansion with Lucy and stepped outside. She had noticed when first arriving that there was a huge object covered in blue tarpaulin to the side of the main entrance, even taller than the mansion itself at maybe somewhere around fifty feet. She hadn't really thought too much about it then, but now there were a few photographers, cameramen and people from the production company milling around it ominously. A heavy set man with a bushy beard and glasses holding a clipboard rushed over excitedly to greet Mel as soon as he saw her.

"Melanie! Or can I call you Mel? It's such an honour to finally meet you. I'm a huge fan!" he shook her hand rather aggressively.

"Mel is fine, and thank you" Melanie smiled politely, wanting to cut to the chase and get whatever this was over with "What is it you need me to do?"

"Just go over there and pull that rope" he pointed to the tarpaulin "Then give us your completely, honest and natural reaction. That is literally all you have to do"

Melanie walked tentatively over to the giant mystery object, painfully aware that all eyes were very much on her, and gave the rope a hard tug, just as instructed. The tarpaulin fell away, leaving Mel to gasp in horror at what it revealed - a fifty foot nude and incredibly lifelike version of herself.

"Oh. My. Fucking. Life" was all she could manage to say.

"The artist used extensive footage of you from the show to ensure it is a completely anatomically accurate depiction of your body" the production guy informed her proudly.

The only thing that wasn't true to life was the corny way statue Melanie was posing. She had her legs spread out, one hand on her hip while the other made a peace sign and she had her head tilted slightly while she smiled and winked as if she were an anime girl.

"How long is this going to be here for?" Melanie asked as she tried to take in what was happening.

"Six months, the whole run of the season" the producer explained "Then we will auction it off. I can imagine it will raise more than a few dollars!"

"I'm tempted to make a bid myself" Lucy admitted.

Melanie walked around the statue and looked up at it with genuine disbelief "So basically, the view from half the second story of the mansion is my arse?"

"I don't think anyone will be complaining, Mel" Lucy reassured her mortified friend.

"We just need you to pose for a couple of photos in front of the statue, then we will stop bugging you" the producer told the **** muse.

In the first photo, a sulky and extremely self conscious Melanie was standing with her arms folded protectively across her breasts and a scowl on her face. The promotional team decided that was too cute to be an outtake and had "amazing ENF energy" but that didn't stop them from then making her pose in the same idiotic way her statue likeness was. It took a few takes, but in the end she was able to pull it off perfectly. The team were delighted that they apparently now had two posters rather than one. Finally, Melanie was able to retreat back into the mansion.

"For fuck's sake Lucy, how was that nothing bad?" she seethed as she trudged back inside.

"It could have been me too, Mel" Lucy reminded her "I was topping the poll at one point, but then your fans all mobilised online and basically took over the vote"

"So, what if they do that for every vote?" Melanie began to panic.

"I'm sure things will start to even out as the season progresses" Lucy tried to reassure her friend, before placing her hands gently on Melanie's shoulders "Look, I know you probably think I keep shafting you with this kind of thing, but I have a lot less say in what goes on here than you think. If anything I have been using what little influence I have to try and shift the focus away from you. I do love and appreciate you Mel, I hope you know that"

"I know, I love you as well" Mel sighed "I just hate this fucking show"

"Yeah, I get that. Hey, it doesn't start filming until tomorrow, but the free bar is open already. Why don't you and I catch up off camera? You like cocktails, right?"

"Yeah, and I feel like I need one right now!" Melanie agreed.