A Royal Pain in the Ass

My heart pounds in my chest. I pretend to be on my phone as the young princess looks around her room.

As usual for the middle of the day, it's a mess. Laundry is on the floor, dirty dishes cover the food table, and her game controllers are everywhere.

"Hmm. It's become rather messy." She picks up the little bell she keeps hidden in her drawer with a triumphant smirk. "Perhaps I should do mother proud by cleaning it a little..."

How have I not noticed how much of a shit she is earlier?

She rings it vigorously, and turns to face the door with an impatient expression.

When it opens, she prepares to issue commands. Her mouth falls open, however, as she sees who walks in.

"M-mother!"

Aliza strolls in, scowling at the state of the room. I stand from my bed, and immediately kneel in respect.

"Surprised to see me, and not one of your servants?"

Aisha remains silent, her cheeks flushing red with embarassment. Aliza carries on, strolling through the room, looking at each bit of filth in turn.

"I am beyond disgusted with you. Not only do you lie to me, but you are content to exist in this filth until someone cleans it for you!"

She stops at my corner of the room, and I look up at her as she does. She doesn't betray any hint of our arrangement in her expression.

"Even your pet knows to clean after himself - isn't that right, Peter?"

"Yes, your Majesty." Thankfully, she's actually correct. My corner of the room is immaculate - I consistently clean my own meager furniture, make my bed, and place both my laundry and my dirty dishes in their designated chutes. Aisha consistently forbids me from cleaning her stuff - she keeps saying it's the pleasure of the servants.

If she saw the way some of them looked at her absolutely disgusting socks, she would definitely think twice about that.

"From now on, you will not have access to cleaners," Aliza announces, deftly snatching the bell from her daughter's hand. "You will be expected to clean your own room, sort your own laundry and dishes, and clean your own bathroom."

"That's so unfair!"

"Plus, your internet access will be severed until further notice, as you are grounded. Indefinitely."

Tears well up in Aisha's eyes, and she stomps her feet like a child throwing a tantrum.

"What if I don't clean, huh!?"

"Then you can sit in it," comes the cold response.

"I HATE you!" With that shriek, she turns and runs into her walk-in closet, slamming the door behind her.

The hurt on the Queen's face is as clear as day. She regains her composure quickly, however, as she looks to me and clears her throat, speaking loudly enough for her daughter to hear. "Come with me, Peter - I want to ensure that the Princess will not be able to command you to clean for her."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

I follow her out the door. The Queen has to shoo the servants that gathered nearby, that are listening to Aisha wail in her closet.

"Just because she is putting on a show does not mean that you should watch it," she admonishes them. "Go on, return to your duties."

They all bow respectfully, and quickly scurry away.

The Queen and I wordlessly return to her chambers. The second we're in, and the door is shut, she heaves a large sigh and fetches a bottle of their analog to **** from the cupboard. She pours herself a generous glass, and sits in one of the two puffy chairs with a huff.

I sit across from her as she slumps in her seat, pinching the bridge of her nose in anxiety.

"Perhaps I was too harsh on her," she sighs, staring down at the bell in her hand. "Perhaps I should send someone to clean for her now, and task her with keeping it tidy..."

I purse my lips, but hold my tongue. That is, of course, until she looks to me with a lost expression. "What do you think?"

I blink in surprise. "M-me?"

"Yes, you. Do you think I was too harsh?"

I shrug. "I don't think you were harsh at all. Where I come from, this kind of behavior would get a lot more than a grounding."

"How so?"

I shrug. "Honestly, the average parent from Brooklyn would've at least smacked her. The more **** parents would've straight up beaten her."

Her eyes widen in shock. "That sounds absolutely barbaric!"

I shrug again. "Hey, it works. I mean, some people definitely do go overboard, but...it works."

Aliza takes a large sip of her ****, and looks down with a frown. "Perhaps then...I should employ such tactics..."

"I don't think you should," I interrupt her musings. She looks up at me in surprise, but also relief.

"Why not?"

"I don't want my experiences to influence how you raise your daughter. You have your method of parenting, and the people back home have theirs. Plus...She wouldn't understand." The Queen furrows her brow.

"Are you trying to insinuate that my daughter is of such low intelligence, that she would not understand the punishment?"

"Not at all - if anything, she's actually ferociously intelligent. Honestly, it's because you shelter her too much. She wouldn't have any frame of reference for it."

Aliza attempts scorn, but all I can see on her face is worry. "B-but she's my baby...I don't want her to have to see the ugliness of the world..."

Well, that confirms it. Resilon is not, in fact, perfect.

"You can't protect her forever," I gently tell her. At this point, I'm just quoting shit from movies that have this kind of plot. "And if she's going to be in charge, she needs to know what's going on in the world."

She stares at me blankly for a moment, before sighing heavily. "Oh, dear - she really didn't fill you in at all, did she? We are figureheads - the people are governed by elected officials."

I nod. I'm honestly relieved - the thought of Aisha in a position of power is honestly frightening. Not only for the people, but for her, as well. She would crumple under the stress.

"If you really want me to help her take responsibility for stuff, you're going to have to let me show her some of that ugliness."

Aliza stiffens, but to her credit, she slowly nods. "Yes...Yes, I know. I'll have the security team disable the filters for your device. It should be done by tomorrow morning."

I nod, before taking a big risk. I reach over to place a gentle hand on her own. She looks st me in confusion.

"She's going to be okay," I assure her.

I stand to leave. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go be a loyal pet." I smirk as I recall the official title we made for my role.

"And a Royal Pain in the Ass."