A Quest!

Reader woke, a little disoriented. His family had had an early birthday celebration for him the night before, his father calling in from Korea when he turned 18 there. Between the late hours, the lack of his usual gaming routine, and the unfamiliar amount of his mother's bubbly Reader had consumed to celebrate coming of age, he was feeling a little headachy, and not quite himself. That's when he saw it: a window in the corner of his vision, proclaiming a new quest. Disturbed on a level he couldn't name, Reader brought his attention to it, managing to bring it into the centre of his vision:

New Quest: Basic Functionality

You're an adult now, so show you can act like one: Make your bed, shower, put on clean clothes, and put some kind of lunch in your inventory before the bus arrives. Accept?

Reader instinctively pressed 'Yes' to the prompt and the notification disappeared, though he saw a blip in the corner of his vision where he figured it could be called back up. Mechanically, he got out of bed and began folding the covers, his mind racing.

All right. I've either just gone insane now, or that memory I have from before I was born is real and I've been insane for the last eighteen years. Given how I feel now compared to the last eighteen years I'd probably rather be insane than have that be me for the rest of my life. But if I'm insane and in a manic episode, that's to be expected and I'll feel worse than I'm used to also...

"Reader? Are you up?" came his mother's voice through the door.

"Yup, just grabbing a shower!" he called, pulling up the quest icon as he walked across the hallway. "Make your bed" had a checkmark next to it.

Okay, third possibility: I'm having some version of tetris effect. My mind is so focused on computer games I'm experiencing real life that way. That could be a midway point, it would mean I'm sort of having hallucinations but so far it would also mean I'm functional with them. I'm at an age where schizophrenia often manifests if you have the genes. What's supposed to exacerbate that again, gluten and nightshades? Safest to avoid both for a month and see if I'm still hallucinating after. It could just be alchohol and lack of sleep after all, gentle interventions first.

Reader got in the shower and turned on the hot water. Right, and routine. Minimize chaos to the degree it's possible, ask for help if you can't limit it on your own.

Reader didn't think much of the help he had available, but routine was something he could handle. With that in mind he turned his thoughts to the combination of morning wank session and prayer he had developed shortly after he first started to masturbate. Bringing to mind a Planetina rule 34 series he'd been working on through his online comics, he stroked himself first hard, then excited as he pictured more and more outlandish scenarios with that lewd avatar of '80s Environmentalism, the prayer coming naturally as he neared completion.

Gaia Allmother, this my bodily fluid and the joy with which I produce it, I humbly offer to you. Please help me become my best self and call on me when I can help you achieve what you desire, though it be beyond my ken and beyond my ability to do alone, whatever cost is in my power to pay be yours, now and forever, love, Reader, Amen.

It was a ritual with varying intensity, but this time the climax and resulting quiet felt unusually powerful. As he rinsed himself off, he got another notification.

New Perk: Divine Communion

You can communicate directly with divine beings, and sometimes even get an answer! Going for the Cleric build are you? Just remember goddesses hate suck-ups even more than regular women!

Reader stared at the notification, walking blindly back across the hall. His mother's "Eep!" as she saw him naked registered briefly, but only as a reminder that he needed to fly under the radar. Good thing I'm not out of clean clothes he thought as he dressed, still keeping the notification at the front of his vision. If he was getting notifications about perks, then that meant...

Hands trembling, Reader repeated the mental actions he'd performed between his first and second breaths...

The immediate relief at seeing it pop up, like finding his only valuable possession after having misplaced it, was tempered by the realization that besides losing the 'baby' status it seemed he'd gained NOTHING in the last eighteen years. His Mana had even gone DOWN!

No, wait. His hands continued the motions of getting dressed as he considered the 'Gamer's detachment' perk. He stared and focused, trying to see the reality behind the icon, and was rewarded with a new pop-up

Gamer's Detachment:

Your body, including the simian brain that would normally affect your decisions, is much more like an avatar than for most heroes of your level. You can still feel physical or mental pain and confusion, but the effects are tracked by your HP instead of physical damage and you can stay clearheaded through most situations.

As Reader closed the pop up, another appeared in his peripheral vision.

New skill: Observe (Active)

By focusing on people or things in your environment, you can gain additional information about them. Higher levels allow more information.

Interesting, I should try to grind that Reader thought. Given that his current quest had a time limit though, he resolved to wait until it was completed. On that note... Just need to pack a lunch and I'll be all set he thought.

_"_You Okay dear? You seem a bit distracted today" His mother asked as he made his way downstairs.

"Just a bit hungover I think" Reader replied with a rueful grin, "That bubbly of yours packed a punch!"

"Welcome to adulthood sweetie. It's all downhill from here!" his mother joked, earning a hearty chuckle from her son. Reader considered. The bus schedule was a bit inconsistent so he should leave soon... but he needed to prepare a school lunch first. Ordinarily Reader would just use the lunch money his mother had given him at the start of the week, but Will, the bane of his existence, had been rather insistant Reader lend it to him. Well, that wasn't actually fair. The bane of Reader's existence was Lexa, she just liked to use catspaws for her work. He wondered whether Observe would let him find out what the hell she had against him.

Think about your nemesis later. Right now, what matters is solving this quest before the bus comes Reader thought to himself. In an open world like this, there were likely a number of ways to solve a problem like a lack of lunch money. He just needed to pick one that would meet the criteria of the quest.