A New Friend

"Oh, wonderful!" Flora beamed, her hazel eyes sparkling with absolute, unfiltered delight.

She wiped some glittery dirt on her apron and stepped closer.

She didn't flinch at Brian’s smell like all other living beings used to do.

"I'm Flora! Flora Honeywell! I tend the gardens here. What's your name, friend?"

Brian’s brain scrambled.

This was it.

His isekai moment.

He needed a cool name. Something dark, mysterious, and incredibly badass.

Shadow?

Darkblade?

Raven?

"I'm... uh..." Brian stuttered, his tongue suddenly feeling like a swollen slug.

He looked at her deep cleavage, her perky boobs and completely lost his train of thought. "B-Blade... uh. B-Boobs… Boss! Bladeboss. B-Brian Bladeboss."

Fuck, he thought, mentally kicking himself. Brian Bladeboss? What a retarded name!

"Brian!" Flora clapped her hands again. "What a unique and wonderful name! I've never heard anything like it!" She tilted her head, her soft hair falling over her shoulder, drawing Brian's eyes back to the deep cleavage of her dress.

She looked him up and down, taking in his stained, oversized t-shirt and the gray sweatpants that were still desperately trying to hide that erection.

"Your clothes are very... unusual. Where are you from, Brian Bladeboss?"

Brian froze.

He couldn't exactly say he died **** his chicken to monster hentai and got banished by God to a candy-coated purgatory.

"I'm, uh, from a faraway country," Brian lied, scratching his greasy neck. "Across the... the great ocean. I'm traveling. To learn more about... friendship. And stuff."

Flora gasped, her hands flying to her cheeks. "A traveler! Seeking to learn about friendship! Oh, the Queen will be so pleased! You simply must come to the village right now!"

Before Brian could make a move—before he could even try to brush his hand against her plump, bouncing tits or grab a feel of that perfect, round ass—Flora reached out and grabbed his hand.

Her palm was incredibly soft and warm.

"Come on!" she cheered, effortlessly dragging his big bulk forward with surprising, cartoonish strength.

Brian stumbled after her. "Whoa, hey, slow down!"

They hadn't made it more than twenty paces past the lollipop grove when a sudden, jarring sound assaulted Brian's ears.

It wasn't music.

It sounded like someone was strangling a cat while it was dragging it’s nails across a chalkboard.

Brian winced, his shoulders hunching up to his ears.

A woman came skipping down the candy-cobbled path, her hips swaying in time with whatever atrocity she was committing on the golden lyre clutched in her hands.

Brian's mouth went dry.

She was an absolute fucking smokeshow.

Long, glossy copper-red hair was pulled up into two impossibly high twin tails, decorated with little musical-note clips, the tails bouncing wildly with every skip.

Bright, expressive teal eyes shone with an intense, manic energy.

She had a cute, upturned nose and a wide, dimpled smile that took up half her face.

But what really caught his eye was her body.

She was lithe and dancer-toned, her flat stomach exposed by a too-short sky-blue dress with a flared, twirling skirt.

Her firm, perky B-cup tits bounced freely under the thin fabric. Brian could clearly see the outline of her hard nipples poking through the material—she wasn't wearing a fucking bra.

White thigh-high stockings hugged her toned legs, leaving just a sliver of creamy, exposed thigh between the top of the stocking and the hem of her skirt.

Every bounce of her step made that flared little skirt flip up dangerously high, giving Brian flashes of what looked like a pair of pristine white panties.

"Flora!" the woman shouted, her voice loud, melodic, and impossibly cheerful.

She skidded to a dramatic halt right in front of them, striking a theatrical pose. "I was just looking for you! I have something amazing to share!"

Her teal eyes flicked to Brian and went wide as saucers.

She gasped, her hands flying to her cheeks, which made her tits jiggle in a way that should have been illegal.

"Oh my goodness! A new face!" she squealed. "Who is THIS, Flora?!"

"Melody, this is Brian Bladeboss!" Flora said proudly, gesturing to him like he was a prize-winning candy cow. "He's a traveler! From far away! He's here to learn about friendship!"

Melody let out a high-pitched squeal of pure, unrestrained joy.

"A TRAVELER?! Oh, this is the BEST day ever! Brian, I'm Melody Chime, the official bard and entertainer of all of Sugarspire!" She gave a deep, theatrical curtsy that made her skirt flip up enough for Brian to confirm—yes, those were definitely white panties with little blue bows on the sides.

His sweatpants twitched.

"You absolutely have to be the first person outside of the village to hear my newest composition!" Melody declared, her face glowing with anticipation. "It's experimental! It's avant-garde! It's going to change the entire musical landscape of the realm! I just finished it this morning! Tell me what you think, please be honest!"

Brian opened his mouth to politely decline, but it was far too late.

Melody had already raised her golden lyre and struck the first chord.

BWAAAANG.

Brian physically recoiled.

The sound was a wet, vibrating, off-key disaster.

It was like she had specifically tuned each string to be slightly, infuriatingly wrong.

But Melody, eyes squeezed shut in artistic ecstasy, kept going.

She began to strum faster, her fingers moving in random patterns across the strings.

There was no rhythm.

There was no melody.

There was no key.

It was just a chaotic, screeching cacophony of plucked sounds that seemed to actively fight against each other.

And then—god help him—she started to sing.

"OOOOH, THE SUUUUN IS PIIIIIIIINK!" Melody belted out, her voice cracking on every other note. "AND THE GRAAAASS IS SOOOO GREEN! THE BUTTERFLIES ARE FLUTTERING! IN A WAY THAT'S NEVEEEEER BEEEEEN SEEEEEEN!"

Each word was held for two beats too long. Each note swooped wildly above and below the pitch she was apparently aiming for. The lyre clashed against her vocals like two drunk people fighting in an alley.

Brian's face screwed up in absolute, unfiltered disgust.

His left eye started twitching.

It was so bad it was physically painful.

Flora, standing next to him, was politely smiling but her hands had crept up to subtly press against her ears.

Melody was just getting warmed up.

She launched into the chorus, hopping from foot to foot, her tits bouncing chaotically with each leap.

"FRIIIIIIIENDSHIIIIIP IS SWEEEEEEET!" she screeched, her voice hitting a note so high that Brian was certain a glass window somewhere had just cracked. "LIKE A CAAAAANDY TREAT! AND THE MOOOOOON IS A BIIIIIG BIG—"

She paused dramatically, then crashed her fingers across all the lyre strings at once.

"—COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKIEEEEEEEE!"

She held that final, screeching note for what felt like an entire minute, her face turning red from the effort. The lyre buzzed and twanged underneath the vocal ****.

Finally—mercifully—she struck one last, dissonant chord and let her voice die out.

Silence.

The crystal butterflies had fled. A nearby gingerbread bird fell out of a candy tree, apparently dead.

Melody stood there, panting heavily, her chest rising and falling, sweat beading on her brow.

She slowly opened her eyes and looked up at Brian, her expression nothing but pure, eager, **** hope.

"Well?!" she gasped, her teal eyes shining. "What did you think? Be honest! I know it's experimental! It might be a bit much for a first listen!"

Brian stared at her.

His face was still contorted into a grimace.

His ear was actively ringing.

He was pretty sure his face had already shown her his real, brutal opinion of her performance.

But Melody was just staring at him, smiling, waiting.

She bit her lower lip a little, looking down on the ground a little, awaiting his ruling.

He managed a stiff smile.

"It was... uh..." he croaked, his throat dry. "It was... pretty good."

Melody's eyes went impossibly wide.

For a half-second, Brian was sure she was going to call him out. She was going to laugh in his face. She was going to know.

Instead, her lower lip trembled.

"You—" she gasped. "You really mean it?!"

"Yeah, sure," Brian said, his cynical brain still not catching up to what was happening. "Real... uh, real musical."

Melody let out a high-pitched squeal of pure, unbridled joy that was nearly as bad as her singing.

She launched herself at him, throwing her arms around his thick neck, her firm little tits squashing against his chest.

"Oh, thank you, Brian!" she cried, her copper twin-tails whipping around as she squeezed him. "You're the FIRST person to like my new style! You're the first person to truly understand my art! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!"

Brian stood there, awkwardly patting her back, his other hand 'accidentally' drifting down to rest just barely on the curve of her perky ass.

He gave it a light, experimental squeeze through her flared skirt.

Melody didn't even flinch.

She just hugged him tighter.

Flora stood beside them, beaming with delight at the new friendship blossoming before her. "Wow, Brian, you must come from a land with very... distinct musical taste!"

Brian gave her ass another squeeze, a little harder this time.

Melody just giggled and nuzzled her face against his sweaty neck.

Holy shit, Brian thought, his dick now fully throbbing in his sweatpants.

She really, genuinely bought it.

His words were treated as more truthful than the grimace on his face.

Did these people even understand the concept of lying?

A slow, dark, greasy smile spread across his face as he gave Melody's ass a third, more confident grope.

Oh, this is going to be so easy.

"Let's show him the village!" Melody cheered, linking her arm through Brian's other side, pressing her firm little tit right against his flabby bicep.

They dragged him out of the meadow and into the village.

The village was a nightmare of pastel architecture.

Houses made of gingerbread, fences made of candy canes, and streets paved with smooth, pink cobblestones.

Everywhere Brian looked, people were smiling, waving, and greeting him with obnoxious, sickening enthusiasm.

But what caught his attention wasn't the candy architecture. It was the women.

Every single woman he saw was a walking wet dream.

Busty, curvy, lithe, petite—every flavor of absolute perfection, walking around in skirts too short and tops too tight, completely oblivious to their own raw sex appeal.

He spotted a few men, which made a spike of jealous annoyance hit his chest, but as he looked closer, he relaxed.

The men looked pathetic.

They were soft, overly manicured, and pranced around like background extras in a children's show.

They didn't look like they had an ounce of testosterone in their entire bodies. He couldn’t imagine any of them fucking anything.

…But they had to, right?

For procreation?

It was something Brian decided to look into later.

Brian's eyes drifted up to a massive, gleaming white-and-gold castle sitting on a hill overlooking the village.

"Who lives up there?" Brian asked, pointing at the castle.

"That's Brightcastle Palace!" Flora said reverently. "Where our wonderful Queen Seraphina and Princess Lumi live! Oh, and Princess Petal, of course."

"Princess Lumi is our great hero," Melody chimed in. "She protects the realm! Along with Captain Ros and the Royal Guard!"

Brian swallowed hard.

Royal Guard.

Hero.

He stopped walking for a second.

Okay.

He needed to be smart about this.

If there was a guard, that meant there were weapons.

There were some threats here that they protected themselves against. And, therefore… couldn’t be completely pure, stupid and naïve.

He couldn't just tackle the first big-titted bimbo he saw and start humping her in the street.

He'd get thrown in a candy dungeon or something.

No, he had to be insidious.

He had to boil the frog slowly.

"Well, it's getting late," Flora said, looking up at the perpetually pink sky. "Where are you staying, Brian?"

"Uh," Brian grunted. "Nowhere. I don't have a place."

"Oh, no!" Melody gasped. "We must take you to Tansy right away! She'll know what to do!"

They pulled him down a side street toward a large, warm-looking building with a sign that read 'The Honey Hearth'.

They burst through the doors into a cozy, fire-lit tavern.

"Tansy!" Flora called out. "We have a traveler!"

A woman emerged from the back, wiping her hands on a towel, and Brian's jaw practically unhinged.

She was a certified MILF.

Thick, and dripping with welcoming, maternal energy. Her massive D-cup breasts threatened to spill out of her loosely laced corset with every step she took.

"A traveler?" Tansy gasped, her face breaking into a radiant smile. "Oh, my word! Welcome, welcome! Come in, sit down!"

"He needs a room, Tansy," Melody said. "He doesn't have anywhere to stay."

"Say no more!" Tansy declared, tossing her towel aside. "You can have the biggest room upstairs! For as long as you like!"

Brian blinked, his suspicious, cynical mind short-circuiting. "Wait. How much does it cost? I don't have any money."

Tansy laughed, a rich, throaty sound that made her massive tits bounce wildly. "Money? Heavens no, dear! It's a joy just to have a new face in the Hearth! It's my absolute pleasure!"

Brian stared at her.

How the fuck does this place stay in business? What kind of communist candy-land is this?

“Oh dear! You look all worn out! This will help!”

Before he could process it, Tansy closed the distance and threw her arms around him in a massive, bone-crushing hug.

Brian let out a startled grunt as two enormous, impossibly soft mounds of flesh smashed directly into his chest.

She smelled like cinnamon and fresh-baked bread.

He instinctively wrapped his thick arms around her waist, pulling her tighter, burying his face near her neck.

Down in his sweatpants, his dick sprang to life, instantly hardening into a rigid, throbbing rod of meat. It pressed directly against Tansy's thigh through his thin pants.

Tansy didn't even flinch. She just squeezed him tighter, patting his back. "You must be so tired, you poor dear. Let me show you to your room."

She pulled away, completely oblivious to the fact that Brian was currently sporting a massive, raging erection just inches from her center.

…She really didn’t notice?

An hour later, Brian was lying on a massive, feather-soft bed.

The room was obnoxiously pink and frilly, but he didn't care.

His sweatpants were pushed down to his knees, his hand wrapped tightly around his rock-hard cock, slowly stroking the slick skin.

He stared up at the ceiling, a dark, wicked grin spreading across his face.

"I'm going to fuck every single one of them," Brian whispered to the empty room, his grip tightening on his meat as he thought of Tansy's massive tits and Flora's tight little ass. "I'm going to turn this whole pathetic candyland into my own personal whorehouse. Thanks God, you dumbass!"

He stroked himself faster, the friction building in the quiet room. He had all the time in the world. And he was going to enjoy every single second of it.

Finally starting to feel like an actual isekai main protagonist, he decided to end the day on a cliché, but fitting line.

“This new world might not be so bad after all.”

---

Okay, full disclosure. I was planning to relaunch my Patreon last weekend and had everything lined up - reading a few chapters ahead of what I publish here and exclusive short stories - but apparently some policies at Patreon have changed. The main issue appears to be my use of "hyperrealistic images". So yeah, to start using patreon, my choices are either stop using images alltogether or go back to my comic style of ai images. I think it would rather choose latter. But it will take at least a week to transform all my new images to that style, so I cant use Patreon quite yet. (Just to be clear, I won't stop publishing chapters here for free, this is for people who want to read ahead.)

I've also now created an account at Subscribestar. But, from what I've read on the net, in some cases it can take a long time until they approve you. But I'll let you know when they do. (I'll replace this note with links to my account). In the meanwhile, as much as I liked the hyperrealistic style, I think I should return to my comic style (which is still realistic, just with a drawn aesthetic.)

So, yeah, right now I'm trying to get things set up for a second attempt. Please stay tuned.