A Necessary Conversation

My arms come up. Snapping up and crossing my chest and in the moment they do they pin the bra down to me, thwarting his plans.

Jake gives a little half-hearted tug and then leans down, a quizzical look on his face.

I glance quickly to my side but that's a bad idea because all I see is Rachel naked from the waist up, her beautiful breasts shivering as Blake pulls back from one of her nipples, leaving it glistening, before turning his attentions to her other breast.

Snap back to Jake. He's harder but easier at the same time and when he starts to pull away I reach for him quickly, my hand moving around the back of his head and drawing him down to kiss me anymore.

"I don't want to complain about mixed signals," he starts, but I cut him off as quickly as I can.

"I don't know how far I can go tonight," I say meekly, "It's just..."

He searches for an answer in my eyes and his brow furrows and then the realization dawns a little. And it's just a little light going off behind his eyes, but it brightens as everything in him gets... eager.

That's the only way I can describe it. It's this eager sort of hunger, this appetite that is clearly designed for one thing and it's so unlike the last time that...

Lucas. The kitchen.

His hesitation and I'd misread it because I'd expected this. This was the stereotype, right? This was the ideal?

Blushing virgin who is telling you that you would be her first and every guy wants that, right? No guy could say no to taking advantage of that. Right?

But Lucas did.

Would Jake?

If I told him no, now. If I said I wasn't ready. Would he accept it? Would he agree but still push the limits? Would he try a little more each time, inching closer to burying himself inside of me with a thousand tiny excuses.

Just against the panties. Just a handjob. Just the tip. Just one stroke. Just until... Just...

Just nothing would ever be enough and the fire in his eyes and the clear desire makes me so worried that I'm going to screw the whole damn thing up and I tense a little and pull him a little closer.

"I've never," I tell him, "And this isn't..."

"Not romantic enough for a first time," he breathes, and I don't know why that comes with relief.

His tone and his voice says that he understands and something in him makes it clear that he wants me, but he'll respect me all the same. He won't push his limits and he won't test mine if I'm not ready.

But he'll have me, if he can. And ever interaction from this point on will be towards attaining that goal for him.

"We don't have to rush," he promises me, "Or do anything you don't want to do tonight.. I can be patient, Em. I'm not some kind of animal with needs.

"But what I would like is to make you feel good. Make you feel as good as you made me feel. Make you feel as good as a woman as beautiful as you deserves."

He pulls back from me for a moment before dipping back in and kissing the nape of my neck and up to my ear.

"What do you think, Em?" he asks, his hands crawling down as his fingers find the sides of my panties and hook in, "Do you want me to make you feel good?"

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