A Meeting with HR

Carol's office was almost like stepping onto the set of a television show where the HR person was the classic stereotype. Or maybe those stereotypes were based on Carol.

Her desk was covered in stress relief knick knacks and racks of paperwork were scattered around. She had three different calendars going with different quotes of the day. Several posters of various employment law statutes were prominent, but displayed more broadly than all of them was the piece de resistance - a big poster on the back wall of a kitten hanging from a branch with ‘Hang In There!’ in comically bold writing.

Carol was a soft woman with blonde hair pulled back in a braid and even in the middle of summer she was wearing a knit sweater over her blouse. She smiled sweetly as you and Gemma knocked on her door. “Come on in, guys.”

You and Gemma sat down in the chairs across from her desk and she shuffled some papers around before setting both hands on the desk in front of her. “So. You two want a relationship disclosure process, right?”

“How did you know?” Gemma asked.

Carol just shrugged. “I’ve been in the game long enough to know it’s right around this time the Interns start getting frisky. To be fair, it’s a little early in the season for the official forms, but good on you two for not drawing out the process and getting caught doing anything inappropriate on work time.”

“Thanks?” you said. Multiple instances of doing inappropriate things on work time flashed through your mind, starting with your and Sabrina in the restaurant last Monday and culminating with the threesome blowjob that had happened downstairs.

“So, here are the forms,” she said, handing over a single sheet to each of you. “I’m the only person who sees the disclosures unless something inappropriate does occur. Usually we would discourage relationships between the Associates or Partners since it can cause ongoing issues, especially if the relationships end, but you two are fine since your temp interns. Do me a favour and just answer exactly what’s on the forms, I don’t need extra details - one couple five years ago thought they would get extra marks for going above and beyond on the disclosure. If I want to read erotica I’ll go find it online. Which, by the way, is not appropriate to do at work.”

“Yes, ma’am,” you and Gemma both said.

“Alright,” Carol nodded. “Here are some pens, you two get started on those and everything should be good before lunch.”

“Actually,” you said. “There was something else that we wanted to talk to you about.”

Carol held up a hand. “Just… OK. Before you ask the question, I’m going to remind you that I am a Human Resources manager, not your personal or couples therapist. Is this business related?”

“Yes, definitely,” Gemma said.

“Absolutely,” you agreed.

“Alright,” Carol nodded. “Let’s hear it.”

“So, we interns have been working well for the most part,” you said. “But today we just had Joy dropped in our laps and we’re not sure of the, ah, change in dynamics that are going on.”

“Ah, yes. Tanya is back from her vacation today,” Carol said. “Do you have any specific questions? Did something happen?”

“Well, to cut to the chase, is Joy our supervisor?” Gemma asked. “Because Ms Bellagamba told us she was in charge of us, but we’ve always just answered to the Partners or Associates who come and drop off work.”

Carol chewed on the inside of her lip for a moment. “Technically no, though she is a returning Intern so unofficially she has the experience to help guide your workflow as necessary.”

You and Gemma glanced at each other. “That wasn’t exactly a clear answer,” you said.

“Well, it’s a nuanced situation,” Carol said. “I wish I could give you a better one, but there are… complications. If something happens and you feel like you are being made uncomfortable, or your ability to work is being negatively impacted, you can always come and file a complaint with me.”

“So what are we supposed to do here?” Gemma asked. “Do we have to listen to her, or not?”

“I suggest you lean on the breadth of experience that Joy brings to your team, and ensure that you are meeting the same work goals you had before she rejoined the team,” Carol said.

“Right,” you said.

Gemma sighed.

Carol just looked at the two of you with a bland smile. “Anything else?”

“Nope,” you said. “That’s all.”

You and Gemma took the next few minutes to fill out the disclosure forms, which were basically glorified promises to not fuck each other on company time, and that you wouldn’t make other people feel uncomfortable through personal displays of affection or cause workplace incidents due to the state of your relationship.

Once you had both signed off the forms, Carol collected them from you and gave you another of those smiles that you’d originally thought of as warm and sweet, but now sort of came across as a little vapid. “Alrighty. Anything else I can do for you two today?”

“No, that’s all Carol,” you said.

“Thanks so much for the help,” Gemma said, and it was hard not to feel the intense sarcasm hidden under the thin layer of professionalism.

Escaping from Carol’s office, you split off from Gemma and ducked into the washroom quickly. You washed your face quickly and looked at yourself in the mirror. This job had just gotten a hell of a lot more annoying in the space of a couple of hours. You wondered if maybe you should go ask Garrison about what to do, but so far nothing had actually happened to make it feel worth bothering him for the second time in one morning.

“It can’t be that bad,” you muttered to yourself. You had Gemma and Sabrina. Anything this place could throw at you, you could get over with them…. Right?

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