A MILF Themed Restaurant

"How did you two convince the ladies to go to Hooters for lunch?"

Not nearly as cautious of you as his date Derek spoke up. "They have good chicken tenders!"

"Mmmm." Your lips squint at the side as you consider his statement. "I don't know about that. I think that's an urban legend started by Hooters."

Lucy crosses her arms as the six of you are taken to a table. By a lithe young lady in thick makeup who's just trying to get through college. "You don't have to stay."

The heart of your group Chad sighs and looks at everyone as you're seated. "Let's all calm down okay? It's the weekend, we're in good company," He eyes a passing waitress. "let's just have a good time."

"Sounds good to me Chad." Pricilla picks up her menu. She mercifully changed into normal clothes, and stuffed that suit into her car before rejoining you all. She was wearing spaghetti straps and short black shorts. Pretty cute Michael, pretty cute.

You open up your Rulebook, because you want this lunch to be a little interesting. You don't have much in common with the popular kids around school.

New Rule: The Hooters at (REDACTED) Mall has been refranchised as a Restaurant named Big Hooties. Which is like Hooters, but with overweight aunts, milfs, and cougars. The employees love getting handsie with their customers.

Why not?

"He's always writing in that book." Lucy eyes you with her all knowing gaze. You're going to have to deal with her, or she's going to figure you out.

Pricilla smiles. "What do you think he writes about?"

"Just FBM stuff." You say innocently, and tuck the book back into your jacket.

Chad looks at you. "No, that's the other book. The little black one. It's got all his uniform and class ideas." He's kind of bragging for you there. Obviously proud he gets to help out with some of the perverted machinations written in your book.

"I use them both for that."

Lucy eyes you suspiciously but doesn't say anything.

Any further games of cat and mouse between you and the smartest kid in school is cut off by a mountain of lard wrapped up in a cheetah print dress. This waitress, Deb is exactly what you wanted. Tits spilling out of her cups, belly bulging in the middle, and an ass all of you could rest your drinks on. She had a brunette beehive, red cat eye glasses, and a long string of pearls on her flabby neck. She was awful just awful.

You had to bite your tongue to keep from calling out in sheer shock and pleasure. This book could read your mind sometimes.

"Hey ya'll. Welcome to Big Hooties, the only restaurant where we sexually harass the customers. Here are our menus, can I get you started on drinks."

"Big Hooties?" You're able to disguise the chortle in your voice as confusion.

"Yes sweetums. We cater to a clientele with more mature taste." She winks at Chad who was staring into her deep saggy cleave. The man is an equal opportunity gawker, and you respect him for that. Boobs are boobs to that purist.

"W-what happened to the girl who seated us?" Lacey is looking towards the door where a chubby lady leans gratefully against her podium filing long thick nails.

"Oh." Deb's airy flirty vibes calms down for a moment. "Do you need to talk to the manager about anyone?"

"No... no." Lucy picks up a menu. "Wasn't this a Hooters... like a minute ago?"

"Well I don't know about a minute ago, but there were some issues with the franchise, and now we're a Big Hooties."

"When?"

"Very Recently."

"When?"

"I don't know hun, I don't work on all the business stuff. I'm just here to make sure you sweet peas are full and happy, so drinks?"

Chad crosses his arms, still looking at the tits. "Just water for the table. We stopped by Smoothie kings... for the smoothie."

"Coming up." She smooches Chad on the cheek, and leaves a big red lipstick mark.

"Well that was weird." You offer the comment up first, and hope it will throw Lucy off. "I thought the sign said Hooters."

"Right?" Lucy leans over the desk. "I didn't see a single fucking one of these women when we came in." She gestures around to the half dozen jiggling waitresses plodding around the room in tacky highheels and stockings with runs in them.

"I think we were all distracted by the fact that Michael has a girlfriend." Lacey giggles and sucks down her smoothie.

Pricilla smiles and crosses her arms. "He wishes."

You watch as chad tenderly touches the red splotch on his cheek. "I think the waitress likes me."

Everyone ignores him. "I haven't seen you around before Pricilla. Are you the mascot for your school?" Lacey's trying to be friendly, and get out of the battle of wits you and Lucy are drowning the afternoon in.

"She actually goes to our school." You answer. "The mascot costume is because her mom drank and rode horseback when she was pregnant."

"My parents are siblings too." Pricilla nods along with your roast.

"I haven't seen you around before." Lucy observes.

"Everyone says that. I'm in the theater program."

Lacey giggles. "Do you know Brooke?"

"Who doesn't." The entire table is shot through with excited energy. Suddenly the urge to talk about the most newsworthy woman in school is inescapable. The conversation is sucked in that direction and it does not end until almost all the chicken tenders are gone. You have to admit that what the ladies around here lost in beauty they made up for in cooking skills. Those tenders were some good home cooking' from ladies with experience.

Lucy has to stop to take a breath or else she's going to squirt the rest of her shake out her nose. "So you actually knew Brooke was into that type of thing?"

"Oh sure." You've got your arm around Pricilla, and everyone is listening to your stories about Brooke. "It's part of the job. It's like how I knew you'd be turned on by the whole four feet, hand job sock thing." That was a mouth full.

Meanwhile Chad is making some serious eye contact with Deb the waitress who is resting in a seat across the restaurant. She's making hot cougar eyes at him, and slowly opening her legs, wider and wider. He shakes his head, scared that Lacey might see, but Deb doesn't care. She opens her legs wide and proud, revealing a hairy bush, and a very well used snatch. Not a panty in sight. Chad's eyes roll back into his head, and he bites his knuckle. "That is one nasty bitch."

The ignoring of him continues.

"I am not turned on by that stuff." Lucy defends her honor.

Lacey on the other hand snatches the last tender when no one is watching.

"Really?" You cross your arms. "So you weren't sitting in your own juices for the rest of homeroom after you jerked me off?"

"She jerked you off?" Pricilla and Derek ask at the same time.

"As punishment." You and Lucy say, finally on the same team. "And no I was not, thank you very much."

You smirk. "And you haven't masturbated to that beautiful moment since?"

"Ugh! You're so gross. This is why no one wants to invite you anywhere. You've got like, the sex offender's version of Asperger's."

"She has!" Lacey squeaks, with shock and joy. "She totally has, look at that blush."

"Lacey!"

Pricilla leans in. "With or without the socks on?" Derek leans in on that too.

"Stop! This is stupid!"

"That means it was with!" The whole table ignites with laughter, and Lucy slowly sinks into her seat red as a hot tamale.

"All hail Michael, knower of fetishes!"

Chad smacks you on the arm. "What's hers?" He points to the waitress.

"Umm, hot young guys?"

"Oh my god." He leans back in the booth. "That's like, me to a t."

"Hey cuties and sweeties." Deb announces to your table as she comes over with the check. I hope you found everything delicious. You guys can take care of the check whenever you want."

Chad takes the check from her, then grabs her wrist before she can get away. "Wait." He holds up the piece of paper. "This says the meal was nine hundred dollars."

Deb spins around and puts her hands on her hips. She's flushed red, and her nipples are poking out of those goliath tits. "That's right little boy. One basket of tenders and six waters is nine hundred dollars. If that's too much I could always offer you the friends and family discount."

He straightens up. "What would I have to do to earn that?"

In return she begins to chew on an acrylic nail. "I'd have to go to the back room, and check. Why don't you come with me, in case I get lost?"

"Lead the way." He gets up and lets her walk in front of him, one massive asscheck swaying at a time as he follows her into the bathroom like a baby duck.

"Chad's going to fuck the waitress." Derek announces.

Pricilla nods. "In a public bathroom."

Everyone looks over to Lacey who just shrugs. "He's my daddy not my boyfriend." Interesting. She's obviously bothered by it, but wants to appear chipper.

That situation is so weird. You practically gave Lacey to Chad and he just left her for some cartoon milf you made up as a joke? You knew he was dense, but you didn't think he was cruel too. You were going to have to straighten that out... Lacey, Lacey didn't deserve that.

No one wants to press that matter. Pricilla looks like she's going to anyway, but something catches your eyes. "Excuse me!" You wave at the blubbery barkeep, and her many sundry chins which seem to wave back. "Can you turn the volume up?" You point at the T.V.

Within seconds a nasally British voice fills the room, and draws in everyone's attention. "...week long deliberations, the ceasefires have begun to sweep over the globe. It's expected these will become full on treaties in the coming months. We say this cautiously, and with no guarantees with what tomorrow brings, but this reporter is happy to present to you all: Peace on Earth."

The restaurant, the bar, and the whole world grows quiet for that blessed second, which you helped bring about. A serene feeling almost too holy to soil with dirty words. Peace on Earth rings out from every television in the world.

Lucy starts crying because her brother is deployed overseas, and the rest of you keep quiet and take it in. No more killing.

And where is Chad during all of this?

About Seven inches deep into finely aged puss. Deb has her dressed pulled down to her ankles, and her tits are filling up a sink right now as he porno-plows her so hard her almost lifts her jiggling form off the ground. "Yes, yes, yes! Good boy! Good good boy! Fuck your Auntie! Give it to me! Give it!"

"Agh Fuck!" Chad roars, slapping her ass, and watching as it makes her whole body quake. "You're so nasty." He grunts. "You're like the complete opposite of my girlfriend."

Deb would chuckle if she wasn't busy screaming at the tops of her lungs. "Don't kid yourself stud, if she had a body half as killer as mine she'd be in here instead of me. Now be a sweetheart and come all up inside your auntie's cunt. Don't worry, a woman my age won't be giving you any babies, baby."

"Uh," Chad throws his head back and rails her even harder. "There's no way... I could fuck Lacey like this."