A Late Breakfast

You and Soo-yin stop and turn back. You watch the last of the grinding shifting stone settle into place. The temple to the ancient fertility god had been reclaimed by the mountain...thanks to you. You'd just inadvertently destroyed what might have been a future UNESCO world heritage site. Oops.

Soo-yin is already going through the warrior's camp looking for food and water. The pair of you partake of a good meal of roasted pork and local fruits. You were famished after the efforts of the past few days, particularly last night, and dig into the food hungrily. The nourishment does wonders for your body and spirit. You look across at your friend eating, calm and collected as always. She had just killed five men as efficiently and easily as you might do a daily chore, and now she sits and eats as if nothing had happened. You loved and trusted your friend completely but you couldn't deny this aspect about her disturbed and, frankly, terrified you. You were glad that she was on your side.

You pick up the smooth heavy golden phallus and inspect it. You notice the fresh dent in the base where you had just used it to crush a man's skull. You're hands weren't so clean either. It felt weird knowing you had killed someone, you were still a bit numb to it though. Turning it over you note just how plain it is, no markings or writing appeared on it anywhere. It was just a golden dick. This could be sitting in an adult toy store and not look out of place at all. As you look at it and think about it some part of you can't help but think once more what a disaster this whole trip had been. Your fun jungle adventure had turned into a nightmare.

"Do you like it?" Soo-yin asks, she is cleaning her hands of pork grease and watching you inspect the idol.

You look back down to it, you hold it by the shaft in one hand and the base and balls in the other. "I was just thinking what a lot of trouble finding this has been."

She sits beside you. "No. Do you like it?"

You shrug. "I mean it's an ancient golden artifact from a lost culture, that's pretty cool I guess."

"No Edward. Do you like how if feels in your hands?" She presses. "You know it might be a cast of a real man who existed once. A perfect replica of another man's penis."

"What?" Your mind slowly dawning on what she was getting at.

"Gripping his shaft like that. Cupping his balls. Are you getting ideas?" She leans toward you. "Would you like to be alone for a while? I could scout ahead. I wouldn't say a word to Natali."

"Soo-yin!" You set the idol down like it was red hot and stand up defensively. Turning to her you see her doing that thing where she was smiling without smiling. She was teasing you! ****, breakfast, then time for jokes. She really was cold as ice.

She stands up, putting the silliness behind her and getting back to business. "It's only mid morning, we can make it back by tonight if we hurry." She looks out toward the North, to where your loved ones waited for you.

You nod, your thoughts exactly. You take a leather carrying bag and a few more supplies. Grabbing the idol, careful now to grip it by its square base, you put it in the sack and ready yourself for the tough hike ahead. Time was wasting, you prayed you wouldn't be too late.