A Divine Misfile sends you to an Afterlife for Babies!

This story starts out the same as many others: your body gets hit by a runaway truck the hydroplanes in the rain.

The was near instant, the pain of your body going splat against a 2-ton mass of glass and steel going 45 miles an hour, every bone in your body shattering as your internal organs perforate.

Your soul disconnects from its ruined meaty-shell like yolk from a cracked egg as you can feel your connection to Earth slipping away.

Above you, watching and cataloging your beyond the Realm-Material, is God. Or the Buddha. Or Satan. All or none of these things. A grand machine running the universe, its mind a binary code who's name is etched into every photon in the universe.

This machine that which isn't a machine is ancient, and it looks into you with its ancient gaze and weighs your life and your fate within an afterlife of its own design.

Cause of : Machine Collision.

Name: XXX

Origin: Earth, Milky Way Galaxy, Universe-001

Gender: YYY

Age: [ERROR!]

System Error Detected! Afterlife Orientation Program Interrupted! Performing System Maintenance.

[ERROR!]

System Maintenance Interrupted! Restart Afterlife Orientation Program!

[ERROR!]

System Error Detected! Afterlife Orientation Program Interrupted! Performing System Maintenance.

[ERROR!]

The cosmic mind ran the numbers and found less and less each time it tried to calculate.

It calculated and puzzled over this problem for an eternity within its timeless void.

It eventually found a compromise within its uncompromising quintessence. Being an ethical cosmic entity run on pure logic, it believed itself infallible, yet was incapable of being blinded by the pride this would have given it, and so it had forgotten that it had made this same error with many other unlucky souls in the past. As soon as it finishes with your soul, it will forget it ever made the mistake with you as well, doomed to doom a soul just like it had done with you.

Afterlife Procured! Uploading Soul!

As your disembodied consciousness had been lulled into a peaceful, dreamless sleep the moment of your , your body is rebuilt molecule by molecule. Some alterations have been made. The hair that tops your head remains, but every other follicle, scar, blemish, tattoo, piercing or alteration you could have every procured or made within your lifetime were erased.

As it finished rebuilding your body, it also began outfitting you with attire fit for the world it had just dumped you in. A formless light took form and placed itself in your mouth, your body instinctually sucking on the rubber nipple that object transposed into it. In between your now hairless pelvic region, your modesty is reclaimed in the form of a fluffy pair of underwear, held together with sticky tapes.

There are many afterlives that mankind might find themselves in. Some are a paradise. Some are nightmarish. Others are just plain weird. Some even find themselves reincarnated on Earth. Unfortunately for you, the afterlife you find yourself in was created by mistake by a senile god. A cosmic printing error borrowing aspects from various afterlives designed to care for the souls of babies and small children.

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