A Difficult Relationship

I wake up around seven o'clock in the evening and head to the kitchen for something to eat. My dad is at the sink cleaning up from dinner. "Hey peanut, there's some spaghetti and garlic bread left in the fridge if you want. Sorry I didn't wake you for dinner." My father and I have always had a good relationship. My mother and I on the other hand,not so much.

"Thanks dad, I'll have some in a bit. Where's mom?" He sighs." She was called into the hospital to perform emergency surgery on one of her patients. Actually I'd like to talk to you about your mother." I sit at the table and dad finishes up the dishes then sits down across from me." Honey you have to realize your mother loves you very much. She just has a hard time understanding you sometimes." I look down at the floor. I feel bad because of the fight I had with her earlier. Dad continues.

"Let me ask you something. Do you identify more with your feminine side or masculine side?" I think for a moment before answering. " I guess my feminine side. I mean I look and dress more like a girl then a boy and I enjoy being treated like a girl." He looks at me for a few seconds as if he's looking for the right words." Then why do you hate it when she calls you young lady? It doesn't seem to bother you when I do it." Again I have to think for a moment.

" I honestly don't know. I mean it doesn't bother me when people call me she or her. I think it might be that she only calls me that when she wants to harp on me about something, which seems to be all the time." Dad smiles at me. " Bekki, it's not that she wants to harp on you it's that she feels she has too. Your mother has always been very goal driven and she views you as her daughter, an extension of herself. She has high expectations of you. Sometimes she let's that get the better of her. Do you understand what I mean?"

"Yes , I get it. It's just that sometimes I see it as unnecessary. Take my book report for instance. It's pretty much already done and it's not due for another two weeks. She acted like I didn't even read the first page yet" .Dad chuckles a little." I know she can be a little demanding at times, believe me I know. But she only wants what's best for you." He continues. "That's why she for lack of a better term nags you sometimes. I hope you don't mind me saying this. Sometimes it seems to me that you look for things to argue with her about. I was the same way with your grandpa when I was your age. I thought he was the biggest tyrant in the galaxy. Just know it comes from a place of love."

" I understand dad, and I'll try to do better." He gives me that warm smile like he always does. "Thanks sweetie, and I'll have a talk with her about not getting on your back as often." He gives me a hug then goes into the living room to watch the news as I reheat some spaghetti and garlic bread. Dad always knows how to make me feel better and I am going to try seeing mom's side in things better.