A Bad Sign For Amy

Okay. She could handle this.

All she had to do was find someone who could help her. Someone who wasn't a creepy doll, or a dreadful little man, and who wouldn't just point and laugh and take pictures. There had to be someone like that in London.

Amy rose to her feet unsteadily, mind racing, one hand between her legs in a **** attempt to hide her unkempt shame. Surely, if she went all the way to the end of the alley and poked her head out into the street, she could ask the first person she spotted if they would be so kind as to lend her some pants. Maybe they'd even say yes! A girl could dream. And maybe they'd be able to tell her where in all of time and space she was, and how to get home...

Amy's eyes drifted across the posters glued to the opposite wall, looking for answers. And came to rest.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS WOMAN?

She froze.

"WANTED," read the poster, "by the High Protector, for the crimes of Insolence, Poor Judgment, Lewd Behaviour and Illegal Possession of a Big Red Bush. All citizens are to watch for this Criminal, who is likely Nude, and can be identified by the Unkempt State of her Vagina, which she is too Silly to Shave."

Amy blinked.

She read the poster over again, twice, including the part about how, given the state of emergency, all citizens are heretofore entitled to strip and inspect the vaginas of any redheaded woman they deem to be acting suspiciously. And any other woman, just in case.

Then, reluctantly but inevitably, her eyes moved to the picture.

It was the picture, all right. It was her, in the alleyway, late at night, illuminated by the flash. Her mouth open, her cheeks red, surprised and dishevelled, a telltale tuft of ginger hair peeping out from between her fingers as she stood in a shocked, defensive crouch, both hands pressed between her thighs. Unconsciously, she adopted the same posture, feeling a familiar heat steal into her face as she considered the fact that this poster was, in all likelihood, going up all around the city.

Whatever city that was. London, but not quite? And who was the High Protector? She had a horrible feeling she was going to find out.