5

The Canterlot Nightmare Night soiree had become especially stuffy in the last few years, so Celestia decided it was high time to spruce things up.

From the moment the guests arrived, they could feel something was different about this year's festivities. The music, for starters. Right before the doors had opened, Celestia handed the royal band a new set of parts. The spooky swing music was far from their usual repertoire, but they weren’t going to turn down a request from the top brass.

From the get go Celestia announced it would be a costume party, and for the Canterlot nobles that meant getting dressed up in their finest clothes, perhaps an opera mask here or there to allude to ghosts and goblins but nothing too silly. Even Luna went tasteful with her frilly vampiress costume, but her older sister strutted her way into the party wrapped in tight black spandex.

She had introduced herself as ‘the two-headed pony’, and upon the numerous inquiries as to where the other head was, Celestia turned her tush toward the crowd, lifted her tail, and revealed the face of Trixie Lulamoon packed between her fat suns, spitting sweat. The suit around her rear was cut away to allow herself to air out, literally.

Celestia thought it was much funnier than the rest of her guests and her sister. Dammit, that guard had spent hours sewing Trixie face up into the underside of the catsuit and this was the thanks she got? She wasn’t going to let a few stuffy toffs ruin her evening.

The party had been going for a few hours, and guests were starting to filter out. Princess Celestia couldn’t stay away from the banquet tables lined with all manner of sweet treats baked especially for the event by Pinkie Pie and Mrs Cake, and all that cake had been sloshing around inside her rousing a ruckus all night. This was Celestia's idea of cutting loose and having fun, but the esteemed guests clearly didn't see it that way. A princess flaunting her rump and pumping out monstrous flatulence was more than any of them could handle. At least they had a choice, unlike Trixie!

Celestia had spent most of the last two hours busting moves on the dance floor, feeling half a century younger. Of course this only meant the crack of her blubbery butt had grown danker and sweatier, now giving off steam better suited to a bog than a ballroom. Trixie had no wiggle room, all she could do was lie there dreading the next volley. She never had to wait long. When her nose wasn’t being bombarded by fermented cake fumes, the natural smell of Celestia’s ass kept her nostrils burning in the brief interim. Alicorn biology had to be seriously messed up, because it shouldn't be natural _or even possible _for a pony to pass gas with such frequency.

Luna side-stepped to her sister. “Celestia, I don’t mean to rain on your parade, but-”

“Don’t tell me you’re on their side!” She nodded to the other guests all keeping to the edges of the hall, “Where’s your sense of fun, sister?”

“There’s fun, and then there’s-”

“Oh, sorry! I’ll say pardon me in advance for this next one-”

Celestia, still throwing her booty around like an unwieldy white wrecking ball, did a little bounce that vomited out another wretchedly watery fart. Trixie groaned as the hot waft of spoiled dairy and rotting pumpkin splattered her face.

“You must show restraint, sister! There are some very important ponies here!”

“Pfft! Who’s more important than us?”

“All I’m saying is we wouldn’t want a- ugh…” Luna leaned as far back as she could, narrowing her eyes. The smell had reached her. “We wouldn’t want to sow dissent among the nobility, now would we?”

“If they try anything I’ll have them fitted for next year’s costume! Why worry when you and I possess the most powerful weapons in all Equestria?”

Celestia wasn’t referring to her horn. She instead whipped her ass around to face Luna, making her reflexively jerk backwards. A wet dribbling breeze kicked up into Trixie’s face. A surprisingly soft release given the nukes she'd been dropping thus far.

“Make it stop…” Gurgled the unicorn.

“You’re such a child.” Luna sneered.

“Says the younger sister! You’re not really trying to spoil my party, are you? I can very easily banish you to another moon and this one definitely doesn’t have a breathable atmosphere!”

BBFFRROOORT!!

The previous fart hadn’t even cleared to make way for this one. Trixie broke into tears.

“You're just as melodramatic as Luna! Now, if you’ll excuse me I will return to my dancing, I need to burn off some of the calories from that pumpkin cheesecake!”

Celestia was a hopeless cause, and Luna retreated to the edge of the ballroom to try and convince the few remaining guests that they shouldn’t lose complete hope in the future of Equestria.

Luna could escape the blast radius, but Trixie was to endure every moment of it, and the party wouldn’t wind down anytime soon. Celestia was renowned for being the last pony there, still dancing and tearing flank long into the night...