20k. [Cypher's Tales]

I had to say it. I had been so apprehensive to agree to this but I needed to finally make a decision. I wasn't going to agree to ‘what’—specifically—I would be willing to do with Harvey, but I was, however, willing to accept this request.

Harvey's own comments played in my mind. Comments about not being very business minded. I was terrified to throw any number out there but I, reluctantly, decided on a high one… with some clarifications and stipulations, of course.

“Well… first of all, I am not gay… and I am also not a prostitute,” I said, careful not to sound hostile.

Richard waited for me to continue.

“Second, if I was to accept your request… I don’t want to have to do anything I am not comfortable with, if I choose not to.”

“Of course, Harvey is not the kind of man to **** himself upon you,” Richard mumbled from the table casually.

“20 thousand,” I said, intending on sounding confident but I think I sounded anything _but _confident.

There was a moment where neither of us spoke, and I felt like I was going to be sick.

Then Richard said, “I will agree to your terms, but I would like to clarify that you are, in fact, willing to do… something, in the nature of making Harvey… feel good,” Richard seemed almost as awkward as I was talking about this.

The lump in my chest was growing but I pulled myself together and said, “yes, I understand what you mean,” quietly.

“Wonderful, we have a deal then,” Richard said as he rose to sitting and shook my hand.

I smiled, half-heartedly, feeling odd about what I had just agreed to.

“Next we meet, I should hope to have some stories of how thankful Harvey was for me letting him hire you,” Richard said with a chuckle.

I nodded stupidly but thought about what he just said.

“Hold on, what do you mean by that?” I asked, confused.

Richard stopped and looked at me with a smile.

“Well, I had told Harvey to hire a young woman or two for the club, to begin with. With similar intentions mind you. Harvey is in a loveless marriage, after all,” he said, oversharing once again. “I was, however, surprised to find that Harvey and a few of our other friends weren't as keen on the idea as most other members. When he came to me a short time ago insisting that he had found you and that you would be far better suited for the role, I… I put two and two together, I guess. Not that I have anything against… those proclivities, or people with them,” he was quick to add.

“Harvey hired me with… that in mind?” I asked.

“Oh heavens, no. I apologise for giving you the wrong impression. Harvey has nothing to do with my request of you. He doesn’t know anything about it, nor did he speak about… that, and… you. Look, I have known Harvey for a long time, and I’ve had my suspicions. If this was something he spoke about openly, I’m sure I could hire someone for far cheaper than what you have asked for,” he chuckles. “Not that I am unhappy with our arrangement, quite the opposite. And I supposed, in reality, I don’t really know if he is… interested in that, he did marry a woman after all. Although, that was a very long time ago and I suspect he has such an interest in you because you look so much…” he paused, seeming to be talking himself into places he doesn’t actually want to go.

Like a girl? I finished his sentence sarcastically in my mind.

“Look, I am merely being a good friend in arranging for his needs to be… met somehow,” he said, getting flustered again.

It had been feeling like this was far more ‘arranged' until Richard had told me this. I actually thought Richard seemed more interested in men at first, with the way he looked at me sometimes. I thought that was the reason for his **** to talk about it. And Richard says he only suspected that Harvey might like the same sex, but I already get the feeling he was right. My teasing at our last session seemed to indicate that, at the very least.

I don’t know whether I am relieved that this wasn’t some setup or not. It doesn’t change the fact that I have said yes to doing things with him.

Everyone has wondered once in their lives how much this kind of request would cost. I had always put ridiculously wild figures on it, but when it came down to it, 20 thousand dollars is a lot of money and nothing Richard has told me changes that fact.

Knowing that they haven't been planning this or even talking about it makes me feel more nervous for some reason. If Harvey really is in the closet, am I going to make a fool of myself? Is he going to flip out and fire me or worse, if I make some kind of advance on him?

My fingers running up and into the groves of his groin at the end of our last session plays in my mind. The reaction his body had to that and the willingness to let me do that to him, tends to suggest the opposite though. Thinking about it has made me feel… strange. Not ‘strange’ in a bad way, ‘strange’ in a confused arousal kind of way.

My session with Richard ends and I feel more enlightened about the relationship I have to everything here. I like this job, and I would like to continue, so I am going to do everything I can not to sabotage myself. If I can do so while earning a huge chuck of money in the process, I guess that's what I am going to do then.

Max was waiting in his car for me at the gate when I walked out. I had got him to drop me off since my car was at the mechanic's. And I wasn’t looking forward to more ‘obsessing over what my job here entails’ from him. I was, however, thankful that he had been there for me when I asked.

The security guard at the gate gave me an annoyed look as I proceeded to get into Max’s car, which was parked on the other side of the road—probably illegally.

Max asked me a million questions on the drive back, most of them to do with how late it was and why I was massaging old guys so late at night. I got a few concerned looks when I failed to respond multiple times during the drive. I had a lot on my mind. I was no longer looking at the money as 20k I would be receiving but as a new car.

I was contemplating canceling on the mechanic and putting everything into buying a brand-new car or at least something newer. It surprised me frequently that I would catch myself thinking more about the financial benefits than doing something I consider, 'against my nature'. Was it ‘against my nature’ though? I’d had a confusing few days going over all of this in my head and I would frequently end up aroused. I chalked it all up to: I’m just getting excited by the idea of money but even I know that’s a lie.

“What’s been going on with you?” Max asked as he pulled up out front of my house in the darkness.