2. Vacillate

As the month of Nikias' inauguration approaches, he begins frequenting the estate more often. Unfortunately, you've been unable to find a private moment with him during his visits. After sometime, you begin wondering if it may be time to abandon hope. Once your mind begins to slip towards these thoughts you slowly begin seeking out Nikias less often. Eventually, you become barely aware of when he is around. It was hardly difficult to convince yourself that maintaining your title is not as important as you originally thought. After all, with Nikias as leader it seems you will still have a comfortable living. At least, that is what you are currently attempting to remind yourself of. Lately, you've been spending more time in the many gardens surrounding the residence. The mild winter has all but passed, giving way for spring. The light scent of flowers blooming around you fills the air, bringing you a small sense of relaxation. Stepping deeper into the large, plant filled enclosure, you feel more of your stress dissipate. Finding shade from a large tree, you lie out on the thick carpet of grass beneath it. Placing one arm under your head, the other absentmindedly runs through the soft blades around you. You watch as clouds lazily pass by through spaces in the branches above. A few minutes later you feel your eyelids grow heavy and eventually drift closed.

You're still caught between a state of consciousness and slumber when you think you hear footsteps nearby. Shifting slightly, you attempt to ignore the distraction until it grows closer. Once your eyes are open, you slowly prop yourself up on your elbow. After a moment a figure emerges from the other side of the tree and stops short. "Kora, I was unaware you were here." Nikias quickly states while briefly glancing down at your lounging form. You hurriedly sit up straighter, blushing deeply when bits of grass fall from your arm. The corner of Nikias' mouth tugs upward in a slight smile. Leaning down, he offers you a hand up which you gratefully accept. "I can see why you chose such a tranquil place to spend your time." He comments while you brush more debris off from yourself. "This was always one of my favorite places to visit." You forget that being Alexius' cousin, he would have likely spent some time at the estate before this turn of events. "I find it comforting being in nature as of late." You confess, glancing away after speaking. Nikias remains silent for a moment before hesitantly replying, "I am sure your loss is difficult to carry." Frowning softly, you stop yourself from continuing with your honesty. "It becomes a bit easier each day."

The loss of Alexius was certainly upsetting, though you think it best not to admit that has been far from your mind lately. It is instead replaced with your self imposed insistence that you don't require status. Regardless, you are keenly aware this is the first time you've been alone with Nikias since your last official meeting. "I did not mean to disturb you." He says after another moment of silence and moves to step away. "You're not." You hastily reply before wincing slightly. You're hardly in an ideal position to risk appearing as **** or needy. Nikias turns to face you again and seems to study your face. When you move your own gaze to his hazel eyes, they appear cloudy and somewhat troubled. "It is likely unwise for us to spend time together like this." Your frown returns at his words and you're unable to stop yourself from asking, "Why do you say that?" He begins to step towards you before hesitating and answering, "I thought that would be obvious." He then exhales audibly while running a hand through his short curls. Biting the inside of your lip, you feel slightly unsure of how to proceed. Despite his words, Nikias appears **** to try departing again. You absently rub your upper arm while attempting to discern the situation. Silence lingers around, causing you to feel slightly uncomfortable. If he is resistant to make the next move, you decide you will.