[Lore] Goblinology: Introduction

The following is the Introduction of the Scholarly tome, 'Goblinology' by Thiriopologist Luna Luxottica

A curious species, that in this author's opinion are unfairly detested. Goblins have the remarkable ability to survive, through the harshest environmental conditions and through countless attempts at extermination by various differing powers. Displaying intelligence and resourcefulness not often accredited to them.

Most commonly found in shades of green (Though red, yellow or even purple shaded Goblins are found.) Goblins are more known for their short stature, perceived ugliness, their swiftness, and of course, their… unique… practices and cultures. While many believe all Goblin's to be ‘Monogendered’ propagating their species through the use of a host species, female Goblin's do exist in some subspecies.

Goblin languages are as varied and numerous as the beasts themselves, but all share the same guttural yet whiny sounds. While most know that Goblins can learn languages, few also know that many of them can speak our languages. This can lead to certain situations where, certain members of certain parties, insult the creatures without knowing their words are being understood. Only reinforcing their stereotype as violent, unpredictable creatures, when frankly the target of their rage had it coming.

Goblins social structures and hierarchies are far more complex than the average observer gives credit to. Family dynamics, burial rituals and evidence of yearly festivals/celebrations are common for all of the subspecies of goblins.

Most often there is a single chieftain who leads with the advisal of a council of males. Anywhere from 3-12 depending on the size of their tribe, made up of the biggest specimens.

Those with the largest…. genitals… are seen as superior in Goblin culture and so the great invisible hand of evolution put its stamp on them. Goblin penises are notoriously sizable, considering the average goblin is no larger than a human child.

Most Goblins this author encountered in her research were between, 10 and 14 inches. Though very few remained still long enough for an accurate measurement. For the sex drive of a Goblin is matched by no other creature.

Befitting their swift nature, intercourse with a single, male, Goblin, is highly unsatisfying. Though a Goblin's refractory period is practically non-existent, a single Goblin will lay his seed inside a woman and be on his way.

In a group, however… they show their more savage side. For Goblins, taking a woman is a sign of dominance. A show of strength. So when one Goblin initiates sex with, say… a captive Thiriopologist, others in the vicinity take it as a challenge to their positions in the tribe.

The Goblins will all descend on their lucky victim all at once. Fighting for first use at the woman's holes. Their cocks secrete a substance that acts both as lubricant and mild aphrodisiac, giving a warm tingly sensations upon contact with human skin that is quite pleasurable (though the taste leaves much to be desired). Goblins will push each other off and fill any gaps as soon as their tribesmen ‘relieve’ themselves inside their target, making the relative quickness with which they, unload, a non-issue. The Goblins often work themselves up into so much of a frenzy that they'll skip waiting for their breathers to finish, and simply push their way inside an already occupied orifice.

Sex with a group of Goblins has been recorded lasting between, 2 and 12 hours. With the latter being a slight outlier, taking place on what is believed to have been a yearly fertility ritual. With most Goblins participating having come to orgasim anywhere between 12 to 30 times. Such an extensive use of Mana storages exhausts the creatures, leaving them passed out for hours or even days, making escape from captivity trivial.

The Goblins ability to produce such a prodigious amount of, ejaculate, should be commended. With a single, depositing, of the substance reaching a volume up to a quarter of that which a Centaur or Minotaur produces. Rather impressive considering the size differences of the creatures, and the frequency at which they can produce it. What it has in volume though, it lacks in density. With Goblin cum having one of the lowest Mana concentrations of all creatures this author has studied. But in the event that one does wish to collect the substance, your standard glass alchemy reagent collection kits will perform flawlessly. Do not cheap out and use a leather water skin. The taste will stain the leather, and leave you drinking water that tastes like Goblin cum for the entire journey home.

Incidentally, rumors of Goblins ‘disfigured’ or ‘unhygienic’ genitals are completely unfounded. Reports of copious ‘Smegma’ are simply misidentifications of their self lubricant secretions, and what maybe to believe are warts or other disfigurements are simply a natural physical property of the Goblin that can actually…. Enhance… certain experiences.

While many see Goblin's as no more than pests, needing to be eradicated, it is important to remember that they are as important to the balance of nature as we are. Their hunting keeps the number of more wild, non-sapient, beasts steady. And while their staunch defence of territory is a bane to those establishing new communities, it also keeps nastier, more vicious creatures from gaining a foothold in our lands. People look at their societies and laugh, comparing them to the size and scope of their own. But what is overlooked is the balance they find with nature, the contentness and joy with which they live their lives.

Goblin's, like all other creatures, have a place in our lands. Filling certain needs… pushing deep inside my- …uhh… inside our hearts.