"We're repentant! We repent!"

“Okay,” says Meg, a few more days later. “Sneaking into the library didn’t work. What else are we going to try?”

“Maybe we could just give up?”

“After the chastity belt? Do you know how horny I got, Sitri?”

“It was only a week.”

Meg hits you with a freezing stare, then smiles and pecks you on the cheek. “A week without this,” she says, naughtily patting your cock through your pants. “Watching those bitches enjoy it. Never again. Okay, the Pynchplum Library’s off-limits. Where else can we get occult books? Or is there somebody else we could ask for help?”

“That’s a thought. Actually, I might know someone.”

“See! We’re making progress already. And I think today’s best friend embarrassment hangout is going really well.”

“Meg! We’ve learned our lesson! Please let us… gllmmpph!” A tomato lands in Lily’s open mouth. She, Beth and Kitty are pilloried naked on the Colonial Green, standing upright with their necks and arms clamped in three horizontal wooden planks.

HARLOT is scribbled across each girl’s body. Tomato juice trickles down their slick bare breasts. Mud spatters their thighs. Their bare bottoms are striped red from the flogging you gave them. The Heritage Picnic crowd is loving it, hooting and laughing and posing with the unlucky nude squirming red-faced ladies for souvenir shots.

“Sorry, girls. The book is very clear. As to ye most notorious crime of slutterie, and ye pilferinge of ye beste friende’s boyfriende, any commone trollope thus convicted shall be displayed berefte of ye clothing in the village square, breastes and sexe naked as God made them, exposed to publicke mockerie, until such time as ye beste friende in questione shall consider her moste truly repentante.”

“We’re repentant! We repent!”

“Maybe. But let’s leave you here a bit longer, just to be sure.”